Is bottled water Satan's brew?

[Aristotle]

Dear fellow TrueChristians™:

In my daily BIBLE(KJV) reading, I came across a passage that the LORD chose to highlight for me. I was about to drink some bottled water that the sister-in-law had given my wife when I saw 1 Timothy 5:23


Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach's sake and thine often infirmities.

I immediately threw out the cursed beverage and opened up some Charles Schwab. However, the whole episode go me to thinking, is bottled water Satan's brew or did I overreact?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Is bottled water Satan's brew?

However, the whole episode go me to thinking, is bottled water Satan's brew or did I overreact?

I don't think you did overreact. Drinking water is clearly something for gays. All that sodomy destroyed their digestion so they cannot handle anything but water.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Is bottled water Satan's brew?

Personally, I never drink water. Fish fornicate in it.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Is bottled water Satan's brew?

Consider who drinks bottled water: sodomites, blue-state liberals, and blue-state liberal sodomites. Also, remember what "Evian" is, spelled backwards.

[Nobar King]

Re: Is bottled water Satan's brew?

Isn't Charles Schwab the guy who caused the financial crisis?

[Jed_Cassidy]

Re: Is bottled water Satan's brew?

Only homers drink bottled water because their small intestines have become too sensitive REAL water because of all the sodomizing they've been doing.

[Godfly]

Re: Is bottled water Satan's brew?

Bottles in general look too much like penises (sorry to be so vulgar ladies) Real Men drink from a can!

[TC Patriot]

Re: Is bottled water Satan's brew?

I have a very positive view of bottled water. If is free enterprise and the Godly free market in action. Coca Cola owns Minute Maid orange juice and as we all know homers hate orange juice because of Godly Sister Anita Bryant Coca Cola also sells Aquafina water and a very nice profit. What could be more Christian than that. I'm sure brother Free Market Fred would agree.

If the shape of the bottle offends you simply pour it in a glass. True Christians do not drink from any vessel that you have to put your mouth around. We should never consume popsicles, ice cream cones, or lollipops.

[Godfly]

Re: Is bottled water Satan's brew?

why cant they just put bottled water in a can, and then sell it?

[GodIsAlmighty]

Re: Is bottled water Satan's brew?

why cant they just put bottled water in a can, and then sell it?

They do, in Japland. But who wants to be like the Japlandese? I think the idea is almost as dumb as the Canadistani and their bagged milk. Personally, I keep a well outside my house.

[Godfly]

Re: Is bottled water Satan's brew?

The black countries are better at dealing justice to fags and now the yellow ones have figured out how to drink store bought water without turning into fags. Do you see what the Obamunists have done to our country?

[Samuel Coleridge]

Re: Is bottled water Satan's brew?

I believe this is twice I find myself amazed to agree with most of you about bottled water.

Such a horribly wasteful product.

Drink from the tap! Free Palestine!

[Muttthepreacher]

Re: Is bottled water Satan's brew?

why cant they just put bottled water in a can, and then sell it?

So canned water isn't homer?

[Aristotle]

Re: Is bottled water Satan's brew?

So canned water isn't homer?

More likely rusty. Beer works better for canned beverages.

[MarkHenry]

Re: Is bottled water Satan's brew?

While we are on the topic, what can we drink?
If water is a no-go and juice is considered homo, what are we left with?

Are water-based drinks bad? Such as tea and beer? Wine is made from grape juice so it it also bad? I'm confused.