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  • #1

    ~~Shudder~~

    Recently a pre-TC "friend" of mine contacted me after years of silence. Seeing as I have shed my previous life without Jesus, I almost did not answer the phone. However, I thought maybe I could rebuke her in Jesus' name once I had her pinned on the phone. Alas, she rambled on and on whilst I was trying to show her the TC path. Do not worry, dear pastors, I have already blocked her number from calling again. However, while she was rambling incessantly about her heathen children, something became very disturbing to me. Apparently there is a new trend of children, calling themselves "emo". Now, while it stands for "emotional" (or so these horrifying children claim), it is really an off-shoot of goth.
    Please, Sister Glynndie, is there any hope of me getting these terrifying pictures of emotional goths out of my head? It gives me the frights! I pray every night that the images I manage to muster in my head go away. However, I think I need a group prayer meeting this week. Is there any way we can set one up?
    Jesus is watching you masturbate.

    Nunquam concumbo dutch puellus intra clunis.

    numquam futuis, puer Batavica ad te asinus praesepe
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: ~~Shudder~~

    Originally posted by sister rebecca View Post
    However, while she was rambling incessantly about her heathen children, something became very disturbing to me. Apparently there is a new trend of children, calling themselves "emo". Now, while it stands for "emotional" (or so these horrifying children claim), it is really an off-shoot of goth.
    Please, Sister Glynndie, is there any hope of me getting these terrifying pictures of emotional goths out of my head? It gives me the frights! I pray every night that the images I manage to muster in my head go away. However, I think I need a group prayer meeting this week. Is there any way we can set one up?
    Landover is famed the world over for the quality of its information on homer emus. This thread will tell you everything you need to know.
    O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



    God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: ~~Shudder~~

      Emu sexuals?? Those australians are even sicker than I thought!
      Matthew:
      5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
      5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
      10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
      10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


      sigpic

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: ~~Shudder~~

        Originally posted by sister rebecca View Post
        Apparently there is a new trend of children, calling themselves "emo". Now, while it stands for "emotional" (or so these horrifying children claim), it is really an off-shoot of goth.
        Please, Sister Glynndie, is there any hope of me getting these terrifying pictures of emotional goths out of my head? It gives me the frights! I pray every night that the images I manage to muster in my head go away. However, I think I need a group prayer meeting this week. Is there any way we can set one up?
        First of all, Sister Rececca, I do believe the words Emo, Goth, and Homo are all in the same. And I think the best way to deal with an Emo is to have one of our sturdier sisters in Christ give the child a proper head shaving. In addition, getting the child involved in Godly firearms, especially in our Bible Gun Camp (if the parents can afford it). For those lesser Christians who can't send their little homer to camp, try to encourage friendships with other young men, like our Brother Temperance. Finally, those images will be gone from your head as soon as our Lord Jesus Christ feels you have helped him with this problem.
        Attached Files
        Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: ~~Shudder~~

          Sister Rebecca, respect that people go through phases, and leave it be!

          BT, I had a look at the link to the thread you posted. On said post I noticed this 'biblical quote' from you:

          Originally posted by BT
          BIBLICAL REFERENCES TO EMO:

          1 Corinthians 11:14 Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a rich church bathed in intergrity and goodnesse unto him?
          WHAT???
          sigpic
          Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: ~~Shudder~~

            Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
            Sister Rebecca, respect that people go through phases, and leave it be!

            BT, I had a look at the link to the thread you posted. On said post I noticed this 'biblical quote' from you:


            WHAT???
            What on earth are you talking about? I don't see that quote anywhere.
            O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



            God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: ~~Shudder~~

              How strange.

              And for the record, long hair on *some* men is very attractive.
              sigpic
              Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: ~~Shudder~~

                Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
                How strange.

                And for the record, long hair on *some* men is very attractive.
                To their fellow homers, I'm sure it is.
                O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: ~~Shudder~~

                  Only the prematurely balding would say something like that.
                  sigpic
                  Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: ~~Shudder~~

                    Having spoken once again to my "friend", I have come to the conclusion that the only way to save her children is to bring them to the Landover Reform Center for Spiritual Rehabilitation. I fear it may even be too late.
                    Jesus is watching you masturbate.

                    Nunquam concumbo dutch puellus intra clunis.

                    numquam futuis, puer Batavica ad te asinus praesepe

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: ~~Shudder~~

                      Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
                      Sister Rebecca, respect that people go through phases, and leave it be!

                      BT, I had a look at the link to the thread you posted. On said post I noticed this 'biblical quote' from you:


                      WHAT???
                      That is the word filter, if you really want to know. When the database was refreshed, the word filter affected everything -- even posts by TCs and admins who weren't subject to it in the first instance.
                      Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: ~~Shudder~~

                        Originally posted by sister rebecca View Post
                        Having spoken once again to my "friend", I have come to the conclusion that the only way to save her children is to bring them to the Landover Reform Center for Spiritual Rehabilitation. I fear it may even be too late.
                        Due to serious overcrowding, we are only accepting children who have some serious potential. We would consider accepting white, female children who are potential....er.......models.
                        Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
                        "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
                        Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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