Obama's toast-detector is spying on me!

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

I just aquired some money (unrelated to my charity work) which means that this summer I won't have to live outside, nor will I risk overstaying my welcome at anyone's house this winter. I've got an apartment!

My problem, though, is a suspicious-looking piece of electronic equipment which comes with the room. It's up on the ceiling, like a camera, but it's not a camera. Now and then it sets off a burglar alarm, but not when I'm being burgled, or being visited by likely criminals. (I haven't even seem a mexican on this side of the street.) In fact, if only sets off the alarm when I make toast. It's some sort of toast-alarm.

So I told the landlord that I wanted the object removed, but he said it has to be there, something about regulations or something. Now THAT gets me suspicious. Didn't Glenn Beck say something about Obama installing secret spy devices in our homes? So that if we think the wrong thoughts, or cook the wrong food, he can send us to that gitmo place he set up?

I don't know why Obama hates toast. Maybe because it's a white man's invention and that humiliates him. You'd think taking a white thing and turning it into a brown thing is just the sort of thing he likes, but I guess he hates anything that isn't soofoo.

What's your advice for legally dealing with this threat to liberty?

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Obama's toast-detector is spying on me!

It sounds like you are being persecuted by the liberal goons of the New World Order. The best way to deal with them is to pray to Jesus and remember that you will be whisked up in the Rapture before they get a chance to truly defile you.

They may be reading your mind. The alarm may have nothing to do with toast directly, but something to do with what you think about when you make toast. Tell me, do you think about Jesus when you make toast? They could be trying to distract you from thoughts of salvation. That is after all what the NWO is all about. Satan!

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: Obama's toast-detector is spying on me!

You are correct to be so concerned, socialists spying on you to make sure you don't have more than the others. First control your food then go after your basic rights like owning a gun or 10 and limiting the size of the vehicle you drive. You are correct, it is time to step up and tell big government to ''Let go of my Eggo''!

[Dr. Laurie PHD]

Re: Obama's toast-detector is spying on me!

"Control oil and you control nations; control food and you control the people." -Henry Kissinger, 1970

WAKE UP AMERICA! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!!!!11

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

Re: Obama's toast-detector is spying on me!

Well, rather than cooking my toast well-done, I'm cooking it rare now. I'm sneaking under the radar! Take that, NWO ACORNographers!

Now, for decorating my new apartment. Anybody know if they still make these:



I'd like to have mine labeled "Sherri". Maybe I can get a smaller one for Brandi, I totally winged her.

[Soldier4God]

Re: Obama's toast-detector is spying on me!

I'm pretty sure what you're talking about is called a Smoke Detector. It's used to detect smoke and alarm you incase of a fire. That's why it goes off when you make toast sometimes. It detects the smoke from the toast.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Obama's toast-detector is spying on me!

I'm pretty sure what you're talking about is called a Smoke Detector. It's used to detect smoke and alarm you incase of a fire. That's why it goes off when you make toast sometimes. It detects the smoke from the toast.

Your credibility is so low that I wouldn't be surprised if you were one of the liberal goons or RINOs covering up NWO activities such as these. But in all likelihood you are just stupid.

There are cameras in most homes built after 1969, and tracking devices in clothes and automobiles made after 1980. You are living inside a dream where there is no Hell, no conspiracy, no mind control technology... spread your NWO lies somewhere else.

[Bob]

Re: Obama's toast-detector is spying on me!

Yes I knew Obama was spying on us! Those spying devices look like this:


They are nasty little buggers. Not only do they send Obama video and audio of everything I am doing. They also make a lot of noise when I am smoking or when my mom is cooking dinner. The weird thing is that every time I smash one, in a few days there will be a new one. No wonder my mom has to pay so much taxes.

I also found this:


It's clearly something Obama will use to detonate our house remotely. Just to be sure, I smashed it to pieces.

And this one:


Clearly something Obama will use to remotely burn our house down. It even has a flame on it. Smashed it to pieces as well.

I have to stop posting now, it has been very cold in our house lately. I think it has something to do with Japan.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Obama's toast-detector is spying on me!

It think the first versions of those "smoke detectors" really were just that.

Then Obama was elected. They started inserting tiny cameras into the smoke detectors.

I understand they are partly for liberal spying and partly for pornographic viewing. The Obama people love both.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Obama's toast-detector is spying on me!

It is the liberal shadow government that planted bombs in the Twin Towers and trained Al-Qaeda to be homosexuals!

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

Re: Obama's toast-detector is spying on me!

And this one:


Clearly something Obama will use to remotely burn our house down. It even has a flame on it. Smashed it to pieces as well.

Wait, I'd know that blinding 12:00 anywhere. That's a thermostat.

I remember, because the ONE time I had another kid over for a sleepover, (before he cancelled because the cats gave him assmar) he said "what's thing thing?" and started poking at it. I told him to stop poking it, and then I forgot about the whole thing (my short term memory isn't as good as my long term memory). Next day my Mom accuses me of turning the temperature up to rediculous temperatures. I deny, and she insists, and then...

Well, know you know whenever someone calls me a son-of-a-bitch I say, "I know". That harpie, when I was 3 she still walked arounf naked and didn't bother to close the bathroom door, she totally knew I would end up remembering that, the evil, hairy

[Soldier4God]

Re: Obama's toast-detector is spying on me!

It is the liberal shadow government that planted bombs in the Twin Towers and trained Al-Qaeda to be homosexuals!

You mean the bush administration?

[Pure_Angel]

Re: Obama's toast-detector is spying on me!

Brother Trent, I am worried for you! (and for everyone else with this device) But I wonder, does it only react to toast or any kind of food? Maybe Obama wants to starve the Americans to death or something?
Could you try to cook something else? I know it's much to ask but... I would like to know if it just reacts to toast or everything. I am sorry for bothering you.

Yours in Christ
Elisabeth

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

Re: Obama's toast-detector is spying on me!

Could you try to cook something else? I know it's much to ask but...

Cook? I'm not a woman.

[Pure_Angel]

Re: Obama's toast-detector is spying on me!

Cook? I'm not a woman.

I know, it was a strange thought, I wasn't thinking before posting again... can you maybe invite a woman who can cook for you? I think this is very serious...

Yours in Christ
Elisabeth