[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In?

WTF is WRONG with you supposed bible thumping lunatics? I'd love to smash YOUR skulls in, drowns you slowly & then *** potty language *** in your mouths until you piffleing vomit you vile pigs. You don't deserve life, ANY of you *** potty language *** rags. piffleING DIE YOU DISGUSTING WORTHLESS GARBAGE. I hope you're all *** potty language *** raped by the funeral homes when you die. piffle ALL OF YOU AND piffle YOUR piffleING WORTHLESS PIECE OF *** potty language *** "god". Good piffleing day *** potty language ***.

People, please keep this in mind next time someone tells you that Jesus-haters have morals.

YiC,

Zech

[kissmymom'szzbox]

Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In?

WTF is WRONG with you supposed bible thumping lunatics? I'd love to smash YOUR skulls in, drowns you slowly & then *** potty language *** in your mouths until you piffleing vomit you vile pigs. You don't deserve life, ANY of you *** potty language *** rags. piffleING DIE YOU DISGUSTING WORTHLESS GARBAGE. I hope you're all *** potty language *** raped by the funeral homes when you die. piffle ALL OF YOU AND piffle YOUR piffleING WORTHLESS PIECE OF *** potty language *** "god". Good piffleing day *** potty language ***.

[Gabriel Reproba]

Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In?

Do you think it would be a good idea for when you have more children to save perhaps one kitten and sacrifice it later, like Noah did with one of each of the clean animals he brought on the ark?

What a great idea. Surely God loves the smell of burnt animal flesh as he clearly does in the passage you cite and others throughout the Bible. This is why I make my children grill me a steak or at least a burger for dinner every night on our grill, even if it is raining or snowing! When I get into the office in the morning I will check on USDA regulations regarding kitten meat and get back to you.

Since kittens are so easy to breed it could be done on a regular basis as part of our home schooling program. It's a great way to show the power of God.

I couldn't agree more! Nothing shows what True Christianity™ is all about more than God's plan of wiping out every man, woman, toddler, infant, dog, squirrel, kitten, etc. on the planet because He had messed up with His first set of humans. And He planned it all in advance! Think about that for a second... Before He created anything, He KNEW that He would do everything He does in Genesis (Create Adam and Eve, toss them out of Eden for sinning, let humanity grow to millions of people, decide that He messed up) and kill everything in sight in one of the slowest and most painful ways imaginable JUST to let a guy on a boat burn a bird so that He, God, would like the smell and "decide" to never wipe out humanity again. Only God could plan to mess up His own plan as part of His plan! Every time I think about it, I am speechless. Truly and honestly speechless.

Glory!

I've never been much for cats, but this entire episode is making me rethink that stance.

I am glad that God has moved you to slaughtering kittens. Only the Bible could make a good man like you do a thing like that! Hallelujah!

Now that winter is coming, he is one tip. Just put the kittens in a box and leave it outside for a day or two. I have found this easiest way, you can then just bury the kittens in the same box.

Interesting thought. However, I take my instructions regarding when and how to kill kittens straight from the Bible. I don't recall anywhere that God tells us to freeze or gives us a demonstration of freezing animals to death. (I may have missed it, though. There are so many instances of God killing so many people and animals that it gets hard to keep track of!)

Since the Bible doesn't tell us to freeze our animals to death, I am worried it might be cruel to do so, but I am not sure. Perhaps the Pastors can find guidance in the Scripture? I just get so lost without the Bible telling me what is right and wrong.

[MisterM]

Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In?

Now that winter is coming, he is one tip. Just put the kittens in a box and leave it outside for a day or two. I have found this easiest way, you can then just bury the kittens in the same box.

YiC, M

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In?

Brother Jack, I couldn't agree more. Brother Gabriel's story was so touching that I was moved to read it in its entirety at the dinner table tonight. The joyous and emotional outpouring from my children was enough to rattle the windows!

I've never been much for cats, but this entire episode is making me rethink that stance.

Mr. Reproba, bravo to you sir, BRAVO!

YiC,

Zech

[Jack O'fagan]

Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In?

What a wonderful retelling of the biblical flood. You really have brought the story to life (and death). Since kittens are so easy to breed it could be done on a regular basis as part of our home schooling program. It's a great way to show the power of God. My youngest daughter has just read it and she is so overcome with joy that she has tears streaming down her little face.

Glory

Jack

[A Follower]

Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In?

Thank you mr Reproba for your moving tale, you are a model for every Christian parent, I can only hope to educate my children as well as you have educated yours.

Do you think it would be a good idea for when you have more children to save perhaps one kitten and sacrifice it later, like Noah did with one of each of the clean animals he brought on the ark? When Noah burned those last few animals God enjoyed the smell and decided to save the earth from future complete flooding, it shows that despite God just having wiped out an entire planet it still matters what we do, even though He is obviously much more capable than us and could have killed the animals Himself, had He wanted to do so.

Genesis 8:20-21
And Noah builded an altar unto the LORD; and took of every clean beast, and of every clean fowl, and offered burnt offerings on the altar.
And the LORD smelled a sweet savour; and the LORD said in his heart, I will not again curse the ground any more for man's sake; for the imagination of man's heart is evil from his youth; neither will I again smite any more every thing living, as I have done.

[Gabriel Reproba]

Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In?

If it's not too late, I'll take the kittens off your hands. I have some more vivisection work to do on this project: http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=11665

I am so sorry. I drowned them as soon as the pastors counseled me to do so. However, I decided to make it a teaching moment and I made it into a Noah's Ark project for my children. The older children made some scale models of a seaside village while the younger kids dressed up their baby-dolls to be the village children. We took the model down to Landover Swim Club #3 one sunny day. (All the swim clubs are closed for the winter, but #3 leaves the water in for baptisms.)

I told my children that since Snowball, Mr. Meow Mix, and the others had behaved badly, the Bible clearly orders us to either stone them or drown them. Some kids started looking for pebbles immediately and were a tad disappointed when I called them back from the bushes and informed them that we would be drowning them. But when I told them that we would be using all the props they had built to recreate the Story of Noah and The Flood, they rejoiced.

With my seven children gathered around, I retold them the story of Noah and The Flood. They hung on every word as I described how God had decided that He had somehow messed up (as was His plan) and all of humanity and animality had become naughty save for eight good people. God told Noah to start building an ark and pack every animal kind in pairs to last a year. (Some people think it was 40 days and nights, but that was just the duration of the rain. The Ark was adrift for a whole year. Think of the miracles involved in keeping every species alive on a boat TOGETHER for a YEAR! God is truly Great!)

Then we put the mock village into the beach entrance part of the pool and put the kittens into a basket by the village. The basket has narrow slats on the side so we could clearly see the kittens inside and a lid that I had sealed shut. One of my littlest girls started crying when she realized her pets were about to drown slowly in front of her. She said she loved Mr Twinkle and Snowball and the rest and didn't want them to die. I pointed out to her that she was going against God and that she had better change her tune if she didn't want to go to Hell. She thought for a moment and with a visible shudder seemed to change, harden somehow, right in front of me. Her eyes grew narrow and her face turned almost vicious (if not for he two missing front teeth, I would have been scared!) and she pointed an accusing finger at the kittens and screamed at the top of her voice, "NAUGHTY KITTIES!! GOD WANTS YOU TO DIE AND GO TO KITTY HELL!!!" I thought to myself, "THIS is what True Christianity™ is all about...saving your children from the path to sin." I thanked God right then and there.

The rest was easy...we turned on the fill-pipe by the diving board and sat and watched as the water rose over the "village" and swept away the baby dolls we had dressed up as village children. Soon, it started to fill the basket. As the cats realized what was happening, they scrabbled over one another, fighting to get on top and breath from what little room was left. I must say that Princess had more fight in her than I had suspected, but in the end, it was Snowball who lasted the longest. He would push the other kittens down and stand on their heads till they stopped writhing in agony. By doing this, he created a little kitty corpse raft that he could float on. It was at least two-deep in limp kitten bodies and held him quite nicely.

While all of this was going on, I pointed out to my children the joy of what we were witnessing. I told them that THIS was exactly what it must have been for the millions of people that God drowned in the Flood. Women and children scrambling for high ground, not knowing how to survive. Parents screaming in terror as their children and babies were swept away form them or dragged under by currents and drowned right in front of their eyes. Children clinging to playthings as their parents' lifeless bodies kept them company on makeshift rafts of floating debris. God's love is so great that he was willing to start the human race over by wiping out the sinners.

Caroline, my youngest, asked, "Daddy, were there babies that God killed in the flood?"

"Of course," I replied.

"Were there little girls like me?"

"Absolutely!" I answered. "Anyone that was naughty!"

"Why did God kill them? Why didn't he just kill the naughty grown ups? How could little babies and children know what to do to make it so God wouldn't kill them? How could a two week old baby be evil?"

"God works in mysterious ways," I said. "But I know this: There were eight people who did everything God told them to do. Those eight people...those eight who never questioned God's laws...They lived... Everyone else died. Now....what should you do every day...every minute of your life?"

"Obey God?"

"Right! And where has God written down his rules?

"In the Bible!" she said, now grinning since she could tell she was giving me the answers that I wanted.

"Good girl!"

"I love you Daddy and I will do everything the Bible tells me to do. i don't want to drown like naughty Tabitha and Mr. Whiskers are!!!" the other children nodded in agreement.

After that, we sat and watched. Eventually, even the mighty Snowball had to succumb to the rising water. After he was floating limp, still on his raft of dead siblings, I had the kids gather the props and bag the bodies.

Heading home, I had to admit to myself that this was my proudest moment EVER of my life as a True Christian™ parent.

[Proud Faroese]

Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In?

You are all sick-minded doesnt it say to respect Gods creation, not to kill it because it scratched your kid and also that is animal abuse

Who cares what animals feel? Not God

[Jack O'fagan]

Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In?

You are all sick-minded doesnt it say to respect Gods creation, not to kill it because it scratched your kid and also that is animal abuse

Animal abuse?? Why would you come on to a Christian website and then talk about secular values?

YIC

Jack

[Zechariah Smyth]

You are all sick-minded doesnt it say to respect Gods creation, not to kill it because it scratched your kid and also that is animal abuse

Where exactly does it say to "respect Gods (sic) creation" friend? My Bible mentions "dominion" as I recall.

YiC,

Z. Smyth
Posted via Mobile Device

[edward potter]

Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In?

You are all sick-minded doesnt it say to respect Gods creation, not to kill it because it scratched your kid and also that is animal abuse

[Gabriel Reproba]

Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In?

I know I'm pretty late and you've probably killed those poor things by now but...

They're kittens. They're infant cats. Cats are not evil. They are not "witches" or "demons". They're just living things that will be forced to suffer painfully because of your crazed practises.

If you people had lived in medieval times, I'd say your beliefs would be pretty interesting. But NOW? Oh god, this is sad.

Btw,

1. Your kid was either dumb enough to annoy/attack the cat (It's just like you get annoyed at people's existance, you bash them)

2. It was playful bite. Animals do that.

I don't see anywhere in your post where you addressed the Biblical passages that commanded me to kill my ex-kittens. Could you please stay on-topic and explain to me why I should disobey God?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In?

ModestMartin here, interesting viewpoint.

I think a squirrel is probably the holiest of animals, I have sacrificed many animals at my altar at my residence and this is the only animal that has not squealed.

God rest your soul, young squirrel.

Dear Martina;

I don't know whether to rebuke you for bestiality, idol worship, or just plain retardedness. In any event, I rebuke you in Christ's name.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In?

ModestMartin here, interesting viewpoint.

I think a squirrel is probably the holiest of animals, I have sacrificed many animals at my altar at my residence and this is the only animal that has not squealed.

God rest your soul, young squirrel.

Why are you sacrificing squirrels, and to whom?