[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: The Microwave Oven - A Tool Of Satan!

Another demonic practice involving microwave ovens: people use them to heat up fruits and vegetables which are subsequently introduced into the anus with prurient intent.

Also, I'll bet Hitler would have used microwave ovens in Auschwitz, had they existed.

And it is possible, however unlikely, to have sexual relations with a microwave oven. So there is no doubt that someone out there is losing his or her eternal salvation, humping a microwave oven as we speak.

[Swedish eskimo]

Re: The Microwave Oven - A Tool Of Satan!

Further proof that microwave ovens are evil:

[ChristianLucy]

Re: The Microwave Oven - A Tool Of Satan!

Wow! Thank you for this eye-opening thread! I am throwing out my microwave today! I can't believe my son tricked me into buying it. He must be a devil worshiper.

[Daniel G]

Re: The Microwave Oven - A Tool Of Satan!

Perhaps the 'microwave ovens' are actually portals to Hell! They cook food so quickly, even make some explode, and yet are cool to the touch. Hellfire cooks the food. I exorcised mine with my bible and it stopped outright, but a few days later more demons had come through the portal and resided in my microwave. I have gotten rid of it in the same way as all my candles: 'gifting' it to my neighbors. Those neighbors are all on the path to being fuel to that fire that used to heat my leftovers. My home is now more pure, and I can sleep easier knowing another portal to hell is out of my house. Praise Jesus and pray he can save us from whatever the next trap or pitfall straight to Hell may be.

[Virginia Day Templeton]

Re: The Microwave Oven - A Tool Of Satan!

This device allows women to spend less time in the kitchen and more time thinking and doing God knows what else. The decision to bring one into a Christian home should be very carefully considered.

[weezee]

Re: The Microwave Oven - A Tool Of Satan!

The Illuminati invented microwaves and sell their convenient ready meals as a way to prepare our bodies for demonic possession. At the time of Rapture all those whom gluttonously feasted upon McCains oven chips, Birdseye micro curries and Rustlers burgers will be bound by the specter of Satan to take control of the earth in time for their dark lords arrival.

[Freddy Osborne]

Re: The Microwave Oven - A Tool Of Satan!

The Illuminati invented microwaves and sell their convenient ready meals as a way to prepare our bodies for demonic possession. At the time of Rapture all those whom gluttonously feasted upon McCains oven chips, Birdseye micro curries and Rustlers burgers will be bound by the specter of Satan to take control of the earth in time for their dark lords arrival.

It won't be funny when Satan warms his Hot Pocket in your oven, Godmocker.

[cpablate]

Re: The Microwave Oven - A Tool Of Satan!

The thing is you can use the waves for multiple purposes!

[Brother Gonzalez]

Re: The Microwave Oven - A Tool Of Satan!

The thing is you can use the waves for multiple purposes!

But all of them are evil, aren't they?

[Roland]

Re: The Microwave Oven - A Tool Of Satan!

The thing is you can use the waves for multiple purposes!

Hello cpablate,

You can use your keyboard for multiple purposes too: Like introducing yourself here.

Roland