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  • Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter!

    I don't know how this fad started but if I ever meet a woman and she has this in her I would run so fast I would probably pull a groin.

    Also: no smokers and no knuckle crackers.


    That is all.

    May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

  • #2
    Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter!

    Some years ago there was some excitement over something called "The Vagina Monologues", and I got the impression that they talked - but I personally have never witnessed it.
    Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
    brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
    ...and get off my lawn
    sigpic

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter!

      Originally posted by WilliamJenningsBryan View Post
      Some years ago there was some excitement over something called "The Vagina Monologues", and I got the impression that they talked - but I personally have never witnessed it.
      Let me assure you brothers, they do not talk. They yell. They scream. They punish women for our entire lives, delivering the horrendous reminder of our shame in the Garden. They harbor Satan's Waterfall once a month for those who are not blessed enough to be married off and actively producing little Soldiers of Christ. They tell our brains lies and tell our hearts even bigger lies. They lead weak women to lives of shame and humiliation like bridles lead horses. They lead sinners to the doorstep of Hell like a carrot leads and ass to work the fields. They control whatever they can, which is why their subjugation is our greatest challenge. They have minds of their own and they communicate with men in ways we cannot always foresee, but they do not talk.
      Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter!

        Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
        I don't know how this fad started
        No doubt Hillary Clinton started this fad so she can blame the wasps in her cooter for losing the elections instead of admitting she was a terrible candidate.
        5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
        To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
        James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter!

          Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
          No doubt Hillary Clinton started this fad so she can blame the wasps in her cooter for losing the elections instead of admitting she was a terrible candidate.
          Now we understand why Bill Clinton undertook his quest for wasp-free cooters.
          Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
          brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
          ...and get off my lawn
          sigpic

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter!

            Who in their right state of mind would put a wasp nest up there?

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter!

              Originally posted by agnesaliencat View Post
              Who in their right state of mind would put a wasp nest up there?
              That is an excellent question. As a simple person I cannot find a motive. I can only echo the poster before me.
              Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.

              Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter!

                Originally posted by Roland View Post
                That is an excellent question. As a simple person I cannot find a motive. I can only echo the poster before me.
                Even as a non-Christian female who likes to have freedom to do whatever I want with my body, there are some things that I absolutely would not do, and having a wasp nest put up there is one of those things (those who do such a thing are literally asking for a Darwin Award).

                (for those who don't know, the Darwin Awards are handed out to those who have done something stupid and paid for it with their lives).

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter!

                  Originally posted by agnesaliencat View Post
                  for those who don't know, the Darwin Awards are handed out to those who have done something stupid and paid for it with their lives.
                  Darwinists are rewarding people for that?!? This is political correctness gone mad.
                  Acts 13:8 And said, O full of all subtilty and all mischief, thou child of the devil, thou enemy of all righteousness, wilt thou not cease to pervert the right ways of the Lord?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter!

                    Originally posted by Mister Brasil View Post
                    Darwinists are rewarding people for that?!? This is political correctness gone mad.
                    No lol, as people just look for stupid ways in which others have unintentionally ended their lives.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter!

                      Kids today. Next thing you know they will be stuffing rodents in their rectums.
                      What ever happened to just putting a tack on Satan's seat?
                      I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart
                      Where?
                      Down in my heart!
                      Where?
                      Down in my heart!
                      I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart
                      Down in my heart to stay


                      And I'm so happy
                      So very happy
                      I've got the love of Jesus in my heart
                      Down in my heart
                      And I'm so happy
                      So very happy
                      I've got the love of Jesus in my heart.


                      I've got the love of Jesus, love of Jesus
                      Down in my heart
                      Where?
                      Down in my heart!
                      Where?
                      Down in my heart!
                      I've got the love of Jesus, love of Jesus
                      Down in my heart
                      Where?
                      Down in my heart to stay.


                      And I'm so happy
                      So very happy
                      I've got the love of Jesus in my heart
                      Down in my heart
                      And I'm so happy
                      So very happy
                      I've got the love of Jesus in my heart.


                      I've got the peace that passes understanding
                      Way down in the depths of my heart!
                      Where?
                      Down in the depths of my heart!
                      Where?
                      Down in the depths of my heart!
                      I've got the peace that passes understanding
                      Way down in the depths of my heart!
                      Down in my heart to stay


                      And I'm so happy
                      So very happy
                      I've got the love of Jesus in my heart
                      Down in my heart
                      And I'm so happy
                      So very happy
                      I've got the love of Jesus in my heart.


                      And if the Devil doesn't like it
                      He can sit on a tack!
                      Ouch!
                      Sit on a tack!
                      Ouch!
                      Sit on a tack!
                      And if the Devil doesn't like it
                      He can sit on a tack!
                      Ouch!
                      Sit on a tack to stay!


                      And I'm so happy
                      So very happy
                      I've got the love of Jesus in my heart
                      Down in my heart
                      And I'm so happy
                      So very happy
                      I've got the love of Jesus in my heart.
                      Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                      Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                      Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                      Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                      Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                      Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter!

                        Speaking of wasp nests and cooters, I still have not seen my wife, Mrs. Hutchins. It has been oh, I do not know, three to five months now. I've kept an eye out for her when I drive the Hummer around the plantation or one of my cars into town. I've even offered a $5 bounty to any picaninny nigra that can produce enough of her to prove her were abouts.
                        For those that do not know her, the top of her head comes to about your shoulder, she has produced many children for Jesus, she makes a very passable meatloaf. I am not sure about much else. I am very worried that God will see the lack of new babies in the house it it may affect my standing with Him.
                        If she is not located by February of 2018, I guess I'll have to get her declared as dead as 20 year old milk cow and find a new wife. I just hate the thought of all this time being wasted and the trouble it is causing me to get my meals and arrange for her chores to be done. So inconsiderate.
                        Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                        Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                        Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                        Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                        Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                        Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter!

                          I've just noticed, it is just over a week since I last considered the whereabouts of my wife, Mrs. Hutchins. If it was not so hot out and I was already obligated to serve as a swim counselor for the LBC Summer Camp for Young Male Christians, I'd go look for her. But seeing she is an adult, I do not want her to get all worked about what with me checking up on her and observing her every move. I know how women can be about their privacy.
                          I must admit, I do not miss the sounds of her clumsily breaking my Steuben cognac glasses when she hand washes them. Fortunately there are many other female Hutchins (I think they are my daughters) around to do female duties. A few more months and I guess I'll have to alert the sheriff, perhaps during the September Poker in the back for Jesus charity card game at the LBC mens club.
                          Attached Files
                          Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                          Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                          Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                          Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                          Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                          Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter!

                            Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
                            I don't know how this fad started but if I ever meet a woman and she has this in her I would run so fast I would probably pull a groin.

                            Also: no smokers and no knuckle crackers.
                            None of those things seem like unreasonable expectations in a prospective mate.
                            His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

                            Guns For God and the Economy

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter!

                              Originally posted by agnesaliencat View Post
                              Even as a non-Christian female who likes to have freedom to do whatever I want with my body, there are some things that I absolutely would not do, and having a wasp nest put up there is one of those things (those who do such a thing are literally asking for a Darwin Award). (for those who don't know, the Darwin Awards are handed out to those who have done something stupid and paid for it with their lives).
                              But is it "your" body?

                              Comment

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