X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 2
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 2 template Next
  • James Hutchins
    True Christian™
    Just a Regular Nice Guy
     
    • Jun 2009
    • 29451
    #16
    Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter!

    Hmmmm I just realized, I still have not seen my wife, Mrs. Hutchins. I am beginning to wonder if perhaps I should send someone out to look for her. I'd do it but I am getting ready for a Salmon Fishing trip with some of the Church Elders.
    Maybe I should call the Life Insurance company about her policy I took out as a Easter Gift to show God how much I care.
    Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
    Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
    Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
    Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
    Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
    Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

      Comment

      • James Hutchins
        True Christian™
        Just a Regular Nice Guy
         
        • Jun 2009
        • 29451
        #17
        Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter!

        I went out with some of the guys this past weekend four wheeling and mud bogging. While having one heck of a great time (Jack Daniels Green label, steaks as thick as a Christian mans arm) we did keep an eye out for my wife, Mrs. Hutchins though truth be told, it has been so long since I've seen her, a old Pine Tree at a distance had the same look as my wife's skin. I managed to get stuck twice in the bog and we got Bobby-Roy out snipe hunting. I told him I'd pay him $5 for every snipe he got and prepaid him $20 with the understanding not to come back unless he caught at least four of the creatures. The rest of us sat around the camp, swapping stories about Jesus and listening to Bobby-Roy trying to scare up some nocturnal snipes.
        Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
        Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
        Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
        Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
        Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
        Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

          Comment

          • James Hutchins
            True Christian™
            Just a Regular Nice Guy
             
            • Jun 2009
            • 29451
            #18
            Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter!

            Well, Bobby-Roy did not come back for two whole days! What a hoot and a half! The boys and I had a great weekend, my son (I think it was Ralph) tore up the drive shaft on his F350 something fierce as a rope got wrapped around the duallies and jammed things up.

            As a side note, we still have not seen my wife, Mrs. Hutchins. I've left a pie plate outside, hoping she will notice it empty and come back inside. My nieces, Mandi and Sandi have been tending to my needs, God Bless them. Honestly, my wife, Mrs. Hutchins does not show up soon, I am going to report her to the police!
            Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
            Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
            Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
            Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
            Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
            Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

              Comment

              • James Hutchins
                True Christian™
                Just a Regular Nice Guy
                 
                • Jun 2009
                • 29451
                #19
                Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter!

                What a weekend at the Bellagio! The penthouse suite of Pastor Ezekiel was packed with street lads and runaway girls the good Pastor had in praying for salvation. The fevered delivery produced by Pastor Ezekiel was a sight to behold. Soul after worthless soul, the Godly Pastor went down upon and cleared the demons from their rectums. The stench of the devil filled the rooms. Praise be the Lord, probably 100 lost youths were Saved®.

                On a side note, no one has seen my exwife, Mrs. Hutchins. During a break from his Soul Saving Sessions™, Pastor Ezekiel signed a affidavit of annulment due to abandonment of my exwife and her duties. So it seems I'll have to expel the children from my house seeing they are all motherless. I will also have to begin the arduous task of finding a wife to bear Soldiers for the Christian© war. It all tires me so.
                Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                  Comment

                  • DolliMoans
                    Confirmed Enemy of God
                    BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                    • Sep 2017
                    • 451
                    #20
                    Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter!

                    Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
                    No doubt Hillary Clinton started this fad so she can blame the wasps in her cooter for losing the elections instead of admitting she was a terrible candidate.
                    I'll bet Ms Clinton put the hornets in her vajayjay as a quick-me-up beauty routine because Bill won't give her the money for vaginalplasty! This feeble attempt to fool anyone is of course all in vain.

                      Comment

                      • Mary Etheldreda
                        Gushing for Jesus
                         
                        • Sep 2011
                        • 23775
                        #21
                        Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter!

                        Originally posted by DolliMoans View Post
                        I'll bet Ms Clinton put the hornets in her vajayjay as a quick-me-up beauty routine because Bill won't give her the money for vaginalplasty! This feeble attempt to fool anyone is of course all in vain.
                        It would certainly explain her sudden... passion.


                        Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                          Comment

                          • DolliMoans
                            Confirmed Enemy of God
                            BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                            • Sep 2017
                            • 451
                            #22
                            Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter!

                            Not to ignore that leery WASP behind her shoving his mike in her face, looking all too interested.

                              Comment

                              • Maria-Rosa
                                Forum Member
                                Forum Member
                                • Sep 2017
                                • 43
                                #23
                                Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter!

                                As a single woman looking for a good, Christian husband to guide her I believe I am a candidate?
                                God Bless you and have a wonderful day!

                                  Comment

                                  • Nobar King
                                    Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                                    Christ's Guardian
                                    True Christian™
                                    • Sep 2007
                                    • 23748
                                    #24
                                    Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter!

                                    I'm looking for an American, honey.
                                    May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                                      Comment

                                      • Maria-Rosa
                                        Forum Member
                                        Forum Member
                                        • Sep 2017
                                        • 43
                                        #25
                                        Re: Wanted: Woman who doesn't put wasp nests in her cooter!

                                        Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
                                        I'm looking for an American, honey.
                                        Well, I was born in Colorado so...
                                        God Bless you and have a wonderful day!

                                          Comment

                                          Previous 1 2 template Next
                                          Working...