I'd like to marry off my daughter to a Good American Gentleman!

[Jean Poole]

Good morning, gentlemen! This here girl in the picture is my dear daughter Trinity. She's in this picture evangelising to the unSaved, holding her cross up high! Her brother Hymn is the arm next to her.

Well, Trinity is now 16, and she is desirous of finding a good American husband. (Long story of why us Good Americans are in England ). Anyway, we are willing to marry her off to a Godly man (hopefully a Landover man!), so long as he can pay for her flight.

She is a good cook, can sew, and has plenty of experience with children. Just in case she don't do something to your liking though, we are sending a special Spanking Stick with her! Please tell us if you want us to clean the blood off before sending it.

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: I'd like to marry off my daughter to a Good American Gentlema

I have my own spanking stick, so you may retain yours for her 6 monthly visits home.
Does she have much visible scarring?

[Jean Poole]

Re: I'd like to marry off my daughter to a Good American Gentlema

She does not have much. Only a few stripes across her back, a few on her legs, arms, front, feet. She has a black eye my husband gave her a couple days ago, but that's fading.

Glory to Jesus for Righteous Punishment!

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: I'd like to marry off my daughter to a Good American Gentlema

She does not have much. Only a few stripes across her back, a few on her legs, arms, front, feet. She has a black eye my husband gave her a couple days ago, but that's fading.

Glory to Jesus for Righteous Punishment!

as long as there is no permanent scarring on her face or visible extremities, I'd like to court and ultimately propose to your daughter.
Has she begun to menstruate yet?

[Captain_Asshat]

Re: I'd like to marry off my daughter to a Good American Gentlema

Good morning, gentlemen! This here girl in the picture is my dear daughter Trinity. She's in this picture evangelising to the unSaved, holding her cross up high! Her brother Hymn is the arm next to her.

Well, Trinity is now 16, and she is desirous of finding a good American husband. (Long story of why us Good Americans are in England ). Anyway, we are willing to marry her off to a Godly man (hopefully a Landover man!), so long as he can pay for her flight.

She is a good cook, can sew, and has plenty of experience with children. Just in case she don't do something to your liking though, we are sending a special Spanking Stick with her! Please tell us if you want us to clean the blood off before sending it.

This could be your daughter's lucky day! How'ds she fancy marrying the Assistant MANAGER of a food retail outlet? Yea, that right, I'm assistant manager of a 24-hour BurgerKing restrant in Indiana!!

[Brother Temperance]

Re: I'd like to marry off my daughter to a Good American Gentlema

This could be your daughter's lucky day! How'ds she fancy marrying the Assistant MANAGER of a food retail outlet? Yea, that right, I'm assistant manager of a 24-hour BurgerKing restrant in Indiana!!

Sorry, she's looking for a good American gentleman, not some dothead.

[Jean Poole]

Re: I'd like to marry off my daughter to a Good American Gentlema

Brother Guy, as soon as we receive Trinity's plane ticket, we shall send her over. Is there a Godly woman she can stay with while she is with you? She has indeed begun to menstruate, so she can bear you many children.


Captain Asshat, I want a Godly gentleman for my dear daughter. Not a vile heathen who cannot spell.

[Captain_Asshat]

Re: I'd like to marry off my daughter to a Good American Gentlema

I want a Godly gentleman for my dear daughter. Not a vile heathen who cannot spell.

Huh??

Look Lady, I'm as Christan as they come! An another think, you call me 'heathen, but I don even know what that word means. So how can I be one, eh? You can't be somethin when you don even know what it means, asshat!

[Jean Poole]

Re: I'd like to marry off my daughter to a Good American Gentlema

All Christians can spell "Christian" correctly. People who can't are atheists or tards.

Your use of the word "asshat" in both your posts and your username are offensive to my lady-like eyes. It saddens me that such language is on a Godly board such as this.

[Captain_Asshat]

Re: I'd like to marry off my daughter to a Good American Gentlema

It saddens me that such language is on a Godly board such as this.

Lady, you should get out more!

An another think. I'm a GREAT Christen. For one, I'm fat... JUST LIKE JESUS CHRIST!

PRAISE THE SWEEEEET SWEEEEEEET NAME OF JESUS!!



Roooowwwwllll honey-baby-pie!

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

Re: I'd like to marry off my daughter to a Good American Gentlema

I don't know how to say this politely so...

Can I see the other 19?

[Captain_Asshat]

Re: I'd like to marry off my daughter to a Good American Gentlema

I don't know how to say this politely so...

Can I see the other 19?

19??? How many chicks can you Christers marry???

[Warrior of God]

Re: I'd like to marry off my daughter to a Good American Gentlema

19??? How many chicks can you Christers marry???

None...
we do not sexually consort with fowl of any kind.

I have heard that in some of the less Godly areas of the south , some do seek sexual congress with chickens, even to the extent of yanking off the head and availing themselves of the neck cavity.

but that's not a thing you'd encounter in any good christian community.

That would be sinful bestiality...

Your use of the term chicks, as in infant fowl , disturbs me...

If you are coming in here with some paedophile taint,
get ye hence ,
and take your filth elsewhere.

[Jean Poole]

Re: I'd like to marry off my daughter to a Good American Gentlema

Well, Mr. Harvey, the other 3 girls are only eight-year old twins and a baby. Sixteen boys!

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: I'd like to marry off my daughter to a Good American Gentlema

Why not let her choose her own husband after she's legally an adult?