[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

I won't be doing any 'cooking'. Daisy and Raptor will be with me, and they tend to bite first, ask questions later if anyone came up to try and make me 'cook'. And, Daisy's expecting a litter soon. How far away timewise is the wedding? Given a bit of time, I might be able to bring a whole lot of young rottweilers with me as well.

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

Don't bring your dogs, harlot.
Even though it would be good if someone brought meat for the barbeque (I suppose I'll take care of that instead), we're not very fond of dogmeat.

Instead, just show up well before the cermony begins in your most flammable clothes, doused in gasoline.
We'll take it from there.

I'm sure we can find a nice silver ring. In fact, I shall donate it as a wedding present. After the ceremony we can have SS play JESUS-ON-THE-CROSS while all of the pagan women are.....um....cooking.

Bear with me, good Pastor, and I promise you there will be a lot of heathens, sinners and pagans all... ehh, cooking.. by the end of the day.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

Don't bring your dogs, harlot.
Even though it would be good if someone brought meat for the barbeque (I suppose I'll take care of that instead), we're not very fond of dogmeat.

Got it. I'll bring Daisy, Raptor, and her young which should be grown by then. They'll be so happy about having having new people to bite.

Instead, just show up well before the cermony begins in your most flammable clothes, doused in gasoline.
We'll take it from there.

Gotcha. Asbestos armor it is.

[WickedWitch]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

*Sighs* I'm a little disappointed that your tie isn't going to match my dress. And I do wish I could have my heathen friends there with me... I mean... if they were there, you could minister to them and then let them go home and think about everything you said; no burning, hanging, drowing, or torturing required. I really don't think there should be any murder at my wedding.

And there will be no harming of Rachael's dogs. I would sooner leave you standing at the alter, SS, than have anyone even raise an unfriendly hand to an animal at my wedding.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

And there will be no harming of Rachael's dogs. I would sooner leave you standing at the alter, SS, than have anyone even raise an unfriendly hand to an animal at my wedding.

No-one said anything about raising an unfriendly hand. In my experience, with the smaller yappy type of dogs, a good stomp to the back of the neck is all that's required. I suppose a gun might be necessary for the larger dogs (like Rachael herself.)

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

And there will be no harming of Rachael's dogs. I would sooner leave you standing at the alter, SS, than have anyone even raise an unfriendly hand to an animal at my wedding.

Don't worry about her dogs dear, they will be joining their dark master Rachael.. in eh, cooking.. in the bonfire.
Well before the wedding starts.

[Rextopherious]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

I hath been invited to this wedding...and I intend to eat all the cake... shhh

But I have not met this man that you are to be wedding...

I disapprove... with two p's and I have put one p on the wrong side of the other. I feel unworthy of the p... and this wedding... but I still want the cake... and intend to tie your shoelaces...
Yes. Hmm... yes....

[Tyrone Shoelaces]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

Dr. Davidson,

Thank you for your suggestion, but I'm going to keep living my current life. I'm not going to throw everything I have lined up for something I have never really cared about very much. Sorry.

[WickedWitch]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

Don't worry about her dogs dear, they will be joining their dark master Rachael.. in eh, cooking.. in the bonfire. Stop that nonsense! There will be no burning of humans or their pets!!
Well before the wedding starts.

I'm sorry, but if you can't play nice with my heathen friends, I'll have to throw a party with them before the wedding (and I won't disclose the location). That way I can celebrate with my friends and you can have the ceremony include only Christians. If you truly do intend to marry me, you're going to have to get used to these kinds of compromises.

I hath been invited to this wedding...and I intend to eat all the cake... shhh Well, you'll have some, but there will be a lot of guests, dear, so you'll have to share.

But I have not met this man that you are to be wedding... I haven't either. I haven't even seen a picture of him. (And I still haven't forgiven him for the infraction he gave me. He'll be paying for that one for a long time.)

I disapprove... with two p's and I have put one p on the wrong side of the other. I feel unworthy of the p... and this wedding... but I still want the cake... and intend to tie your shoelaces...
Yes. Hmm... yes....

*Giggles* I'm afraid that the shoes I plan to wear don't have laces. You'll have to settle for tying Brother Temperance or Booby-Joe's laces. Can you deal with that?

Dr. Davidson,

Thank you for your suggestion, but I'm going to keep living my current life. I'm not going to throw everything I have lined up for something I have never really cared about very much. Sorry.

This is the kind of thing that you should move into either a thread of your own, or discuss in PM's.

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

I'm sorry, but if you can't play nice with my heathen friends, I'll have to throw a party with them before the wedding (and I won't disclose the location). That way I can celebrate with my friends and you can have the ceremony include only Christians. If you truly do intend to marry me, you're going to have to get used to these kinds of compromises.

Once we're married, you can put the idea of any kind of "compromises" away..
There will be no such thing, dear. I will command, and you will obey.
Praise Jesus!

And no matter how this is planned or what happens, there will be no unsaved in the church, period!
We can not break God's commandments no matter what.
You should say goodbye to these heathen "friends" and put all of that behind, because once married to me:
You're starting a new life and YOU WILL become a Christian eventually..
It is unavoidable.



Has any date been set yet? (I'm not asking you here, undecided, but church representatives.)
I think sometime next week should do fine if possible, no need to rush it.

[WickedWitch]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

And no matter how this is planned or what happens, there will be no unsaved in the church, period!
We can not break God's commandments no matter what. That is exactly why I'm going to have a celebration with my heathen friends before the day of the wedding. Your church stays pure and I see my friends; everybody wins.
You should say goodbye to these heathen "friends" and put all of that behind, because once married to me:
You're starting a new life and YOU WILL become a Christian eventually..
It is unavoidable. I hope you realise that I'll be putting up one Hell of a fight. It might be easier for you to just let me keep some of my heathen habits.

Has any date been set yet? (I'm not asking you here, undecided, but church representatives.)
I think sometime next week should do fine if possible, no need to rush it.

I'm afraid that doesn't work for me. I know you weren't asking me, but next semester starts next week and next semester I have Calculus, Physics, and Chemistry; I simply can't afford to miss any of those classes. If you pick a date during the school week, you can count on my not being there. However, from February 10 until the 18th there isn't any school. So sometime then would be perfect. What about the 14th?

[Jesus is Lord]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

I'm sorry, but if you can't play nice with my heathen friends, I'll have to throw a party with them before the wedding (and I won't disclose the location). That way I can celebrate with my friends and you can have the ceremony include only Christians. If you truly do intend to marry me, you're going to have to get used to these kinds of compromises.

Heathen friends? Don't you know that we are not to be friends with the unsaved?
2 Corinthians 6:14: Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness.

GOD tells us what to do with witches and heathens like Van Hellbound. Sometimes it seems you really are on the road to Salvation and other times you seem to have backslid. We aren't to be friends with heathens, they are our enemy for they hate GOD!

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

I hope you realise that I'll be putting up one Hell of a fight. It might be easier for you to just let me keep some of my heathen habits.

Forget about it.
No matter what fight you might put up, your knees will bend to Jesus.
Don't get any ideas woman.. I'm no liberal nor homer, and it will be alot easier and less painful for YOU to lose those heathen habits alltogether...

I'm afraid that doesn't work for me. I know you weren't asking me, but next semester starts next week and next semester I have Calculus, Physics, and Chemistry; I simply can't afford to miss any of those classes. If you pick a date during the school week, you can count on my not being there. However, from February 10 until the 18th there isn't any school. So sometime then would be perfect. What about the 14th?

School? You won't need such "education" once married.
The only education you'll need (and will get) is the KJV1611 and how to cook & clean properly.

As for the dates, no..
The 12th would be more appropriate.

GOD tells us what to do with witches and heathens like Van Hellbound. Sometimes it seems you really are on the road to Salvation and other times you seem to have backslid. We aren't to be friends with heathens, they are our enemy for they hate GOD!

She is still a bit rebellious isn't she, brother?
Don't worry about it though, once she's married to me, I'm going to take care of that.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

I'm afraid that doesn't work for me. I know you weren't asking me, but next semester starts next week and next semester I have Calculus, Physics, and Chemistry; I simply can't afford to miss any of those classes. If you pick a date during the school week, you can count on my not being there. However, from February 10 until the 18th there isn't any school. So sometime then would be perfect. What about the 14th?

Exactly what is there of worth to be learned in any of those classes? As a Doctor, of course I was forced to take my share of them, but honestly, how can anyone take them seriously? There are invisible "forces" at work? Try JESUS CHRIST! In Calculus there are infinitesimals -- infinitely small particles that don't exist in reality? I hear Bellvue is running low on patients....

While the godless world may value these things, I assure you that your Entrance Exam to Heaven will NOT include tests on Calculust, Physics or Chemistry. I suggest you study your Course Book (Bible = Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth) and prepare for your final which will be here sooner than you think. It is unannounced and will NOT be scaled.

[Tyrone Shoelaces]

Re: So, I Was Told To Come Here

Interesting point of view.