[SayvedByTheLord]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

After my annulment, I am back, ready to find someone now Jenny.

PS: you are old enough to marry, are you. Kinda got in trouble there the lat time.

I thought she said she was 13. What happened ?

[Professor Bessemer]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

I know I have not reached official True Christian™ status on these Godly boards, but surely my position as a Scientheist at Landover University counts for something, yes?

As a life long bachelor, it would be a great honor to help a young widow's chances of attaining the Kingdom by marrying her.

Sister Jenny, I realize we hardly know each other. Your barreness, while it saddens me, would not be an obstacle to my accepting you as my wife. You see, and I have not revealed this sad fact yet on this forum, I had experimental surgey some time back. It was part of my ex-gay treatment. The surgery was not a total success.

And although my stones are intact, I am currently incapable of performing the marriage act. It shames me greatly to have to admit this in public. But if it means you would have me as your husband, I could tolerate ten times the public humiliation and shame.

Please Sister, will you consider my Holy offer to bind ourselves together before God for the rest of this life and eternity as well?

[Professor Tyeisha X]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

Ex-Gay, Professor Bessemer? No such thing. You are just in denial. My gaydar has been going off ever since I seen you. You have that closet, flamboyant Liberace like look to you.

It saddens me that you would mutilate your own body out of shame of being homosexual, which is beautiful and natural. It's too bad you have lived a life of repressed humiliation and low self-esteem, while you could've sought real happiness marching in gay pride parades and dancing with hairy bears wearing leather codpieces in the streets.

[eliot mayfield]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

I bet this chick is Dwayne Dekalb's wife!

[Professor Bessemer]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

Ex-Gay, Professor Bessemer? No such thing. You are just in denial. My gaydar has been going off ever since I seen you. You have that closet, flamboyant Liberace like look to you.

It saddens me that you would mutilate your own body out of shame of being homosexual, which is beautiful and natural. It's too bad you have lived a life of repressed humiliation and low self-esteem, while you could've sought real happiness marching in gay pride parades and dancing with hairy bears wearing leather codpieces in the streets.

Professor X, it is not something I am proud of certainly! My former life as a homosexual haunts and vexes me daily. But I can assure you that I am cured! Praise!

The hormones of course helped, as did the insulin shock treatments and the aversion therapy. My doctors said I was cured even before the surgery, but I wanted to be sure. And if it was not for the infection and the subsequent series of reconstructive surgeries, I am sure I would be fathering Soldiers for Christ today!

I truly believe the constant dull ache I must endure, caused by the massive scarring, is a simply reminder from our merciful God of the sinful life I once led. But now I am a Saved man looking for a True Christian™ wife to share my life with. Sister Jenny, please consider my offer!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

sister jenny, are you still available. i feel i have what it takes to put you back on the straight and narrow.

Who's father are you?

[WWJDnow]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

Is Jeb Thurmond still available? He's the kind of man that I'd want to marry if I were a woman.

[Miss April]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

Is Jeb Thurmond still available? He's the kind of man that I'd want to marry if I were a woman.

So you want to be a Women for Brother Jeb? That's Gross you are sick Wonderful Brother Jeb Thurmond I whould be very Careful i think this Man is a queer that's trying to came onto you WWJDnow friend I think you need Jesus Why don't you let him into your Life? He can help you turn from your homosexual ways

[Plan B]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

I have no idea why but this thread is absolutely hilarious.


Really.

[Miss April]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

I have no idea why but this thread is absolutely hilarious.


Really.

This Thread is not meant to be funny Troll This is Serious Now why don't you go play like a good little boy

[JennyD]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

I have no idea why but this thread is absolutely hilarious.


Really.

How nice. A Brit who named himself after a birth control drug finds the untimely death of my husband and my inability to bear children amusing.

Typical of you hate-mongering atheists, taking pleasure in others' pain.

[Plan B]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

How nice. A Brit who named himself after a birth control drug finds the untimely death of my husband and my inability to bear children amusing.

Typical of you hate-mongering atheists, taking pleasure in others' pain.

My apologies, however i was not referring to the untimely death of your husband and your inability to bear children, I had no knowledge of these things.

I was merely pointing out some of the replies were rather funny (i should have quoted)


I'll be sure to post more carefully in the future.




Oh and i'm not named after a contraceptive pill, its just a coincidence.

[WWJDnow]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

So you want to be a Women for Brother Jeb?

I am shocked and insulted that you would even think such a thing! I am as straight as Pastor Ezekiel, and nobody would dare accuse him of being anything other than a certified 110% heterosexual. This is exactly why we Christians don't allow women to lecture men on matters of faith:

...I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. 1 Timothy 2:12-14

Silence, woman!

[Miss April]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

I am shocked and insulted that you would even think such a thing! I am as straight as Pastor Ezekiel, and nobody would dare accuse him of being anything other than a certified 110% heterosexual. This is exactly why we Christians don't allow women to lecture men on matters of faith:

...I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. 1 Timothy 2:12-14

Silence, woman!

I'm so Sorry Brother WWJDow for Even Thinking and saying such a thing like that I don't know what on Earth i was Thinking in the First place You are no Homosexual but a Wonderful True Christian Man I feel so tribal I was Wrong you are Right I will be Silence like a Good Christian Women

[Isabella Abbey]

Re: JennyD needs a husband! Suggestions?

How nice. A Brit who named himself after a birth control drug finds the untimely death of my husband and my inability to bear children amusing.

Typical of you hate-mongering atheists, taking pleasure in others' pain.

Hi Jenny, I'm a day late and a dollar short, but I wanted to say I'm sorry about the loss of your husband, and the loss of your business as well. I guess it was.... an idea that wasn't quite in its time. I'll be wishing you strength.