[Lady Sorrow]

Re: PRAISE™! I'm getting married!

It's finally happening! After much searching, praying (a WHOLE lot of praying!), consulting with pastors, and rigorous rounds of testing for my potential suitors, it's been narrowed down to one Godly True Christian™ man who proposed to me after church this morning while we waiting for our orders at Denny's! Praise Jesus!
The gentleman I will be submitting to for the rest of my life is, and I'm sure you all know him, Brother Joseph Whitford! Yes, that Joseph Whitford!
For those not Saved and never had the good fortune to meet Mr. Whitford, he is a successful gratuate of Betty Bowers' BASH program, and who better to compliment an ex-sodomite than an ex-nun who has indulged in unnatural flesh herself? We are both damaged goods, so we're perfectly suited for each other as no pure True Christian™ would want to touch either one of us.
It gets even better! Mr. Whitford is already a Platinum Tither, so I will be stepping up a notch from my Double Gold Tither status, and I'm certainly looking forward to the change in neighborhood and improved parking at church (not that I'll be driving myself there anymore, but the walk will still be shorter). If there is any concern that the income from his successful chain of beauty salons (all made over quite masculinely since his rehabilitation) will be diluted from both of us tithing from it, no worries. My new collection of Born Again Dolls is selling like hotcakes, and once we say "I do" I will sign full ownership of the company over to him.
We're also in full agreement on intimate matters. We both feel strongly that we shouldn't "know" each other except to produce little soldiers for Christ. In fact, he wants to put some pictures of Jesus Himself around our bedroom to help remind him of this and carry him through when we must perform that unmentionable act.
Now the question is which pastor he will ask to perform the service.
It goes without saying that all my True Christian™ friends are invited. Mr. Whitford has even graciously allowed me to choose my own maid of honor and bridesmaids!

As for my time here, I will continue for now, but once we're wed, it will all depend on if my dear husband allows me or not.

GLORY!

Well, I see this thread has been hijacked by Godless witches, so if I may bring it back on track, CONGRATULATIONS, Sister MM!
I must confess I don't know you well but from what I've seen of your posts but you seem like a fine Godly woman indeed.
May you have all of the Lord's blessings in your marriage, dear sister.

And a big hello to dear Eno, wherever have you been, my dear man???

[Brother Temperance]

Re: PRAISE™! I'm getting married!

I didn't say woman are superior I say we are natures default. There is a theory that everyone is born female until a enzyme in the fetus kicks in and allows testosturone to make a child male. Hence the name is an abnomarlity.

You see, silent lurking readers of this Godly forum, this is where secular science leads you - straight down Gobbledegook Lane, along Nonsense Road, and finally ending up in the Valley of Implausible Gibberish.

And I am not a Femminist. I support both men and woman. we are equal in life.

Feminism has been defined as the radical notion that women are people. If you backwards Eurotrash schweinhunden don't accept that, you must be even more bigoted than I thought!

And porriage.. right it is a complex carbohydrate that has a particular enzyme which is known to calm you down and it can release energy slowely through out the day.

Depends on the recipe you use.

I am tired. But not drunk nor full of hatred. Just Melancholish.melancholy?
for days gone by. Nothing more. You're a strange one.

Friend, I can sympathise with your plight. No doubt there is a vast, weeping gulf in your heart. That is your soul crying out for JESUS' love to come and wash you clean, and take you back to the sinless state of days gone by in the Garden of Eden. Praise!

[Brother John]

Re: PRAISE™! I'm getting married!

Woman is natures default. Man is natures abnormailty. Besides you are almost erraditcated. The y chromosome ( which is only half a chromosome aww bless em ) Is shrinking. More woman are born each year. We can multi-taske, we are adaptable and we can withstand a pain you men could never tolerate, aka Childbirth. You need us. We dont' need you. We can make children through science now. You can't. And quite frankly all these nonsense about the weaker sex, is a load of old fuddy duddy that some men made up to keep woman down.

First of all, more men are born. To fit this in to your theory, the Y chromosome is smaller, the sperm cells containing it are thus lighter, so they can get to the egg cell first.
Your multi-tasking and adaptability apply to both sexes, at the least. We do indeed not know about the pain of childbirth (nouns aren't capitalised in English), but then again, that's your own fault, Eve shouldn't have been so stupid. Men can endure pain as well, once put to it... Look at all those heretics that lasted a while on the torturing equipment!

Speaking out of your scientific viewpoint, men are essential to women. Without us, genetic diversity would plummet and Homo sapiens would go extinct. So in other words, you depend upon us.
On the whole even science disagrees with you though. It has been theorised that when the Y-chromosome has been reduced to only the SRY gene (sex determining region on the Y chromosome), the Y chromosome "attaches" itself to another chromosome, and the only difference then is the presence of that gene (since both chromosomes would look the same). Another option is that a non-sex chromosome sacrifices itself to partially attach itself to both X and Y.

Oh by the way, carbohydrates don't contain proteins, they're two entirely different things. Carbohydrates is a synonym for sugar polymers. And did you know proteins denaturate at high temperatures too?


Now please, let's let sister M&M enjoy her wedding and not spoil it with this drivel, shall we?

[Alexia]

Re: PRAISE™! I'm getting married!

I wouldn't want anyone's weding to be spoilt. I was tired last night so I am afraid I probably made errors in ways of explaining myself. But I still hold true that a person sex is little more then a set of chromosomes. So We are similar.

But needlessly I don't want the sister upset. So am I going to say nothing.

[Deaner]

Re: PRAISE™! I'm getting married!

We can multi-taske, we are adaptable and we can withstand a pain you men could never tolerate, aka Childbirth.

Sister, we know that and so does God. That's why you're in the kitchen cooking, cleaning and looking after the kids. Jesus, in His infinite wisdom, has left the child-bearing to women because men can't be on the battlefield killing Christ haters while knocked up and moody. Try to think of someone other than yourself next time.

[Wash O'Hanley]

Re: PRAISE™! I'm getting married!

I noticed you used a trademark after the word "Praise" in the topic title but not after "married". I will have to check and see but I have a feeling that the word is a registered trademark of the Landover Baptist church to prevent its bastardation by homosexuals, fornicating Liberals and Asians.

[Enobarbus]

Re: PRAISE™! I'm getting married!

Well, I see this thread has been hijacked by Godless witches, so if I may bring it back on track, CONGRATULATIONS, Sister MM!
I must confess I don't know you well but from what I've seen of your posts but you seem like a fine Godly woman indeed.
May you have all of the Lord's blessings in your marriage, dear sister.

And a big hello to dear Eno, wherever have you been, my dear man???

And an extra big Hello to you dear Sister. I have been here lurking in the background most of the time. I was away for most of last weekend, and haven't been posting so much on the main board. God Willing, I may be doing some more posting from now on.

[Daniel]

Re: PRAISE™! I'm getting married!

Sister M&M's, I just don't have the words necessary to congratulate you. This is so wonderful. I am so sorry that I can't fly to Freehold for the wedding. I promise I would but I'm booked for the next six months straight! Anyway, I am so glad that you found yourself a True Christian husband. You are a model example of how every ex-sinner should conduct themselves once they have become a True Christian. Rachael Van Hellbound would do good to follow your example.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: PRAISE™! I'm getting married!

Thank you to all the True Christians™ and those of you who are on the right path for your kind words.
Mr. Whitford has set a date, but I can't announce it here because we don't want to give the witches a target for their unholy spells. Don't worry though, the True Christians™ will be getting their invitations shortly.

There is some more good news! Because we will have our servants, Mr. Whitford has given me permission to continue on at this forum after our wedding! He said that as long as it keeps me out of his hair, he's good with it!
Praise Jesus for blessing me with this fine man!

[Brother Temperance]

Re: PRAISE™! I'm getting married!

I promise I would but I'm booked for the next six months straight!

Well, better than if you were booked for the next six months homer, I suppose.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: PRAISE™! I'm getting married!

Sister M&M's, I just don't have the words necessary to congratulate you. This is so wonderful. I am so sorry that I can't fly to Freehold for the wedding. I promise I would but I'm booked for the next six months straight! Anyway, I am so glad that you found yourself a True Christian husband. You are a model example of how every ex-sinner should conduct themselves once they have become a True Christian. Rachael Van Hellbound would do good to follow your example.

I'm beginning to worry that I am too much on this young boy's mind.
You'd do best to worry about other things, young padouin. *snicker*

[Fallen Angel]

Re: PRAISE™! I'm getting married!

congradulations mary marie on getting married. i wont wish u luck coz i dun want u to think im hexing u so i will just wish u congradulations.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: PRAISE™! I'm getting married!

Okaaaaaayyyy... Thank you? Though I strongly suspect that even if you did try to hex me, Satan wouldn't be able to understand a word you're saying.

[Crazy Cat Lady]

Re: PRAISE™! I'm getting married!

Congratulations, dear Sister.
I'll send you ten kittens.