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It's finally happening! After much searching, praying (a WHOLE lot of praying!), consulting with pastors, and rigorous rounds of testing for my potential suitors, it's been narrowed down to one Godly True Christian™ man who proposed to me after church this morning while we waiting for our orders at Denny's! Praise Jesus!
The gentleman I will be submitting to for the rest of my life is, and I'm sure you all know him, Brother Joseph Whitford! Yes, that Joseph Whitford!
For those not Saved and never had the good fortune to meet Mr. Whitford, he is a successful gratuate of Betty Bowers' BASH program, and who better to compliment an ex-sodomite than an ex-nun who has indulged in unnatural flesh herself? We are both damaged goods, so we're perfectly suited for each other as no pure True Christian™ would want to touch either one of us.
It gets even better! Mr. Whitford is already a Platinum Tither, so I will be stepping up a notch from my Double Gold Tither status, and I'm certainly looking forward to the change in neighborhood and improved parking at church (not that I'll be driving myself there anymore, but the walk will still be shorter). If there is any concern that the income from his successful chain of beauty salons (all made over quite masculinely since his rehabilitation) will be diluted from both of us tithing from it, no worries. My new collection of Born Again Dolls is selling like hotcakes, and once we say "I do" I will sign full ownership of the company over to him.
We're also in full agreement on intimate matters.
We both feel strongly that we shouldn't "know" each other except to produce little soldiers for Christ. In fact, he wants to put some pictures of Jesus Himself around our bedroom to help remind him of this and carry him through when we must perform that unmentionable act.
Now the question is which pastor he will ask to perform the service.
It goes without saying that all my True Christian™ friends are invited. Mr. Whitford has even graciously allowed me to choose my own maid of honor and bridesmaids!
As for my time here, I will continue for now, but once we're wed, it will all depend on if my dear husband allows me or not.
GLORY!
The gentleman I will be submitting to for the rest of my life is, and I'm sure you all know him, Brother Joseph Whitford! Yes, that Joseph Whitford!
For those not Saved and never had the good fortune to meet Mr. Whitford, he is a successful gratuate of Betty Bowers' BASH program, and who better to compliment an ex-sodomite than an ex-nun who has indulged in unnatural flesh herself? We are both damaged goods, so we're perfectly suited for each other as no pure True Christian™ would want to touch either one of us.
It gets even better! Mr. Whitford is already a Platinum Tither, so I will be stepping up a notch from my Double Gold Tither status, and I'm certainly looking forward to the change in neighborhood and improved parking at church (not that I'll be driving myself there anymore, but the walk will still be shorter). If there is any concern that the income from his successful chain of beauty salons (all made over quite masculinely since his rehabilitation) will be diluted from both of us tithing from it, no worries. My new collection of Born Again Dolls is selling like hotcakes, and once we say "I do" I will sign full ownership of the company over to him.
We're also in full agreement on intimate matters.
We both feel strongly that we shouldn't "know" each other except to produce little soldiers for Christ. In fact, he wants to put some pictures of Jesus Himself around our bedroom to help remind him of this and carry him through when we must perform that unmentionable act.Now the question is which pastor he will ask to perform the service.
It goes without saying that all my True Christian™ friends are invited. Mr. Whitford has even graciously allowed me to choose my own maid of honor and bridesmaids!
As for my time here, I will continue for now, but once we're wed, it will all depend on if my dear husband allows me or not.
GLORY!
.gif "Console(1)")
it ok, Miss.MM. my momma saids it better to be damaged goods than intact bads 
<--- an that be my Momma 
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