[Warrior in Christ]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

I would have to choose your DUNGBREAD for it is the word of the LORD that commands my actions and not my own selfish interests. But which shall you use Sister? Cow Dung or Human Dung? God has said he perfers we use Human Dung...

As the LORD communicated:
Ezekiel 4:12-15
“And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of man...Then said I, Ah, Lord God, behold, my soul hath not been polluted: for from my youth even till now have I not eaten of that which dieth of itself...Then he said unto me, Lo, I have given thee cow’s dung for man’s dung, and thou shalt prepare thy bread therewith”

It was a tough question Sister, but not that tough for one such as myself, one that seeks to be known as a True Christian™!

God Bless,

Warrior in Christ

[Sista Lateefah]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

Sister Tali has some of the best pie around. Her pie is stuff of legend. If you manage to get ahold of her cherry, I assure you, it was the best around. The peach pie, also outstanding.

Her pie is outstanding with whipped cream on top. I normally make my own whipped cream, but she is a master of churning. It's been rumoured that she can get more whipped cream out of a cup, than most men can (hard to believe but true).

Her fruit pies are what she is known (mostly) for; but she also makes some delicious cream pies. (keep away from the chocolate). Also, when she's making tapioca, it's normally not a good thing.

Do I see a budding romance on the way?

YIC
V

Oooo LORD! All this talk of pies done made me hungry! I'mma have to go to some old honkey's windowsill the Wal-Marts and get me one. Praise JESUS for pie!!

[Abdul-Khaaliq]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

Assalam Alaykum.

Greetings and Peace on you, Warrior in Christ.

Who in name of Allah God (Peace be upon him) you think you are, hitting on my good True Christian Ladies with proper good American voices like Angel and Blonde hair loveliness?
You should be spending your time defending good people of Iraq instead of coming here stealing Women.


Ma'assalama my good friends."

[Pastor Rune Enoe]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

I would have to choose your DUNGBREAD for it is the word of the LORD that commands my actions and not my own selfish interests. But which shall you use Sister? Cow Dung or Human Dung? God has said he perfers we use Human Dung...

I keep telling SUV (bless her old stubborn hide): The dung is for FUEL (and occasional cake toppings) - it's not an ingredient.

Maybe it would be easier if you just ordered some Ezekiel 4:9 bread from the Food for Life Bakery.



Then you could simply toast the bread yourself over burning dung in accordance with scripture. Instant Ezekiel 4.12 bread.

[Warrior in Christ]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

Assalam Alaykum.

Greetings and Peace on you, Warrior in Christ.

Who in name of Allah God (Peace be upon him) you think you are, hitting on my good True Christian Ladies with proper good American voices like Angel and Blonde hair loveliness?
You should be spending your time defending good people of Iraq instead of coming here stealing Women.


Ma'assalama my good friends."

I come with open arms and the love of CHRIST, you may have heard of him... As for the "good people of Iraq." I think you're confusing "good people" with heathens that worship a moon god, allhaha. I don't "protect" those people, I send them to their father, satan.

God Bless,

Warrior in Christ

[Larry Lee]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

Warrior, your coming here has stirred up the piety among our True Christian™ sisters -- And I'm wondering if this isn't the time to re-introduce Friday night girl-on-girl liturgical wrestling. Friday night matches used to be a regular part of our weekly worship services, but after Moon smacked the cubits out of Mrs. Rogers, we had some trouble finding a suitable challenger for Moon's crown, and the Lord suggested that we should put the Wrestling Ministry on hold, while He directed us in other areas. But I think I hear His voice STRONGLY commanding us to schedule a match for this Friday evening, starting at 7 pm in Fellowship Hall, between the wrestlin angel, herself, Sister Talitha and the bodaciously blessed, BTB. It'll be a holy event. Warrior, if you've never before witnessed the power of girl-on-girl liturgical wrestling, then you're in for a blessing from the Lord.

[Warrior in Christ]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

Warrior, your coming here has stirred up the piety among our True Christian sisters -- And I'm wondering if this isn't the right time to re-introduce Friday night girl-on-girl liturgical wrestling. Friday night matches used to be a regular part of our weekly worship services, but after Moon smacked the cubits out of Mrs. Rogers, we had some trouble finding a suitable challenger for Moon's crown, and the Lord suggested that we should put the Wrestling Ministry on hold, while He directed us in other areas. But I think I hear His voice STRONGLY commanding us to schedule a match for this Friday evening, starting at 7 pm in Fellowship Hall, between the wrestlin angel, herself, Sister Talitha and the bodaciously blessed, BTB. It'll be a holy event. Warrior, if you've never witnessed the power of girl-on-girl liturgical wrestling before, then you're in for a blessing from the Lord.

Brother, if that be the case I shall be flying out tonight and extending my stay through next week! I am excited to see this Holiest of Holy events in action. I am honored by you and the LORD Jesus Christ!

God Bless,

Warrior in Christ

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

Oh Glory!

Another SMACK DOWN for JESUS!!!

I hope Sister Tali takes it easy on me! She is a lot taller.

I better go limber up........

Rarin' to go, Sister Thumper

[OnYourKnees]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

Oh Glory!

Another SMACK DOWN for JESUS!!!

I hope Sister Tali takes it easy on me! She is a lot taller.

I better go limber up........

Rarin' to go, Sister Thumper

I'll pick up the Wesson Oil.

[Warrior in Christ]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

I'll be there later tonight via military charter flight. I'm seeking residence in any Godly True Christian's home that is willing to hold me up for several days while I visit. If I like my stay I will most likely move in, seeing as the community is directly endorsed by God I don't think GWB and the rest of the military should have a problem with me moving in.

PM me with details if anyone can hold me up for a few nights,

God Bless,

Warrior in Christ

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

Oh Glory Brother Warrior,

While you are here you should contact Marla Jennings. She is a very wonderful True Christian(tm) real estate agent.

There are some lovely properties here. You will be most impressed.

Sister Tali and I live in Apostles Grove.

Here is Marla Jennings Web-Site. Enjoy!

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/REALESTATE/index.html

Lve, Sister Thumper

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

Now sisters, let's not get carried away. This fine young soldier may be a strapping American Manly White Male, but if you'll notice, he is not yet a True Christian™. I happen to know that sister Jennings does not sell to anyone without their Tither's Card, signed by myself or one of the other pastors.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Don't start thinking for yourselves here ladies....

[Warrior in Christ]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

Now sisters, let's not get carried away. This fine young soldier may be a strapping American Manly White Male, but if you'll notice, he is not yet a True Christian™. I happen to know that sister Jennings does not sell to anyone without their Tither's Card, signed by myself or one of the other pastors.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Don't start thinking for yourselves here ladies....

Yes Brother, I suppose I have quite a way to go.

God Bless,

Warrior in Christ

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

You are right Pastor.

I'm going to get off here now and go finish making your steak and potatoe. I'll bring you an ice cold beer in a minute.

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: 25, Single, and looking for a True Christian(TM) Woman

I'm looking for a woman that is adept in the ways of the LORD and True Teachings™ of the Landover Baptist Church™. God Bless,

Warrior in Christ

Of course, I'm a good Christian gal (and my husband is a good aim) but It would be delightful to have such a fine red blooded All-American visit my kitchen just to nibble on my Snickerdoodles while discussing church matters.