[FoundGirlJNB]

Re: Need permission from Church Elders

Get it now so we can go pig hunting for our first date (with a Church approved Chaperone of course).

I will do just that! Pig hunting sounds fun! Do we eat the pork after killing it? I would need to know what to bring with me, ie kitchen ware to skin and clean a pig!

[Hank]

Re: Need permission from Church Elders

I will do just that! Pig hunting sounds fun! Do we eat the pork after killing it? I would need to know what to bring with me, ie kitchen ware to skin and clean a pig!

Yeah, dress in warm woodland camo gear and be sure to carry a pocket sized KJV1611 Bible with you so we can do a Bible study after eating. A sidearm also be good in case we come across some Jehovahs Witness missionaries.

I'll take a bath and try to get rid of my lice before we go.

[JennyD]

Re: Need permission from Church Elders

Can both of you hold off for a little while?

In another thread LostGirlNY, you expressed concerns that you have vampire leanings and I've already got my airline ticket to fly to New York for counselling sessions with you.

Brother Hank, I'll call you when I get back.

Mr. Tannor, you'll be relieved to know that Rev. Osborne has agreed to counsel both LostGirlNY and myself in an undisclosed location. You do not need to spend your time and money traveling to meet with her!

Yeah, dress in warm woodland camo gear and be sure to carry a pocket sized KJV1611 Bible with you so we can do a Bible study after eating. A sidearm also be good in case we come across some Jehovahs Witness missionaries.

I'll take a bath and try to get rid of my lice before we go.

Do you know what lice are? They're parasites, that live by attaching themselves to people and drinking human blood. They're like little thieves that you carry around on you, stealing nutrition! How revolting!

I can assure you that my good Sister LostGirl would not tolerate any parasite sucking the life force from her man. She has confided in me her absolute disgust with any and all bloodsucking creatures.

I suggest you make with the RID, boil your linens and clothes, and burn your mattress before meeting her. Otherwise, you will be forcibly fumigated by her chaperone . . . ME (er, and Vinnie, of course).

[FoundGirlJNB]

Re: Need permission from Church Elders

I suggest you make with the RID, boil your linens and clothes, and burn your mattress before meeting her. Otherwise, you will be forcibly fumigated by her chaperone . . . ME (er, and Vinnie, of course).

Sister JennyD is very correct in saying this. This is no place in my life for anything that sucks blood, no matter what you've heard!

Now we have our chaperone's sorted. I'm going for my gun-license this week, so what comes next?

Brother Hank, anything else you want to know from me or that you might be able to tell me about yourself? I would not want there to be any surprises when I get to Iowa!

[Hank]

Re: Need permission from Church Elders

Sister JennyD is very correct in saying this. This is no place in my life for anything that sucks blood, no matter what you've heard!

Now we have our chaperone's sorted. I'm going for my gun-license this week, so what comes next?

Brother Hank, anything else you want to know from me or that you might be able to tell me about yourself? I would not want there to be any surprises when I get to Iowa!

Yeah you can tell me if you have any Joo or Negra or Injun in your bloodlines.

I'm %100 American by the way.

I'm getting real excited like. Thats you in your picture isnt it?

Oh and you can tell me, you got any back or spine problems? Anything that may stop you from heavy lifting?

[FoundGirlJNB]

Re: Need permission from Church Elders

Yeah you can tell me if you have any Joo or Negra or Injun in your bloodlines.

Brother Hank, I am 100% American. No funny stuff in my blood-line. If there were American Royalty, I would be it!

I'm getting real excited like. Thats you in your picture isnt it?

Umm, yes, that's me. That specific picture is actually a modified (almost animated) picture, but you can see the just of it in that pic.

Oh and you can tell me, you got any back or spine problems? Anything that may stop you from heavy lifting?

I am of good health, but having said that, please remember that I am very delicate, being of small posture. I can take a good punch, but heavy lifting might need to come with a certain level of descretion!

[Hank]

Re: Need permission from Church Elders

I am of good health, but having said that, please remember that I am very delicate, being of small posture. I can take a good punch, but heavy lifting might need to come with a certain level of descretion!

Sorry I should have made that clearer. Can you carry a dead moose on your back? They can be heavy.

[FoundGirlJNB]

Re: Need permission from Church Elders

Sorry I should have made that clearer. Can you carry a dead moose on your back? They can be heavy.

Are you talking adult or baby moose? Will it be a very big issue if I can't carry an adult moose on my back? What if I dragged it? It might take longer, but it could get the job done?

[Hank]

Re: Need permission from Church Elders

Are you talking adult or baby moose? Will it be a very big issue if I can't carry an adult moose on my back? What if I dragged it? It might take longer, but it could get the job done?

I usally try to kill the bucks but whatever gets shot first.

I'll help you carry it while we are courting but after we're married and you've popped out a few babies I expect you to have gained anough strength to hunt, carry, skin and cook for us all. I'm sure you'll do fine.

[FoundGirlJNB]

Re: Need permission from Church Elders

I usally try to kill the bucks but whatever gets shot first.

I'll help you carry it while we are courting but after we're married and you've popped out a few babies I expect you to have gained anough strength to hunt, carry, skin and cook for us all. I'm sure you'll do fine.

Awe!
That is a very kind gesture and very gentlemanly of you, but I insist that I should do it from the start. We wouldn't want to get hitched only for you to find out after that I cannot carry my weight!

[JennyD]

Re: Need permission from Church Elders

Awe!
That is a very kind gesture and very gentlemanly of you, but I insist that I should do it from the start. We wouldn't want to get hitched only for you to find out after that I cannot carry my weight!

I'm quite certain a moose weighs a bit more than you, dear!

A bull (not "buck") moose weighs anywhere from 850 to 1,600 pounds.

Perhaps this inbred hick gentleman trying to court you has confused moose with, say, certain rabbits of unusual size which weigh in the neighborhood of 50-70 pounds. They are quite common in the Freehold area, downstream from the nuclear reactor.

I imagine you could carry one of those easily. Use caution, as they are known to play dead and are reputed to be carnivorous. It's said that Brother Bobby-Joe once wounded a Wiccan with a shot to the leg, and it ran off into the woods. He tracked it for hours, only to find the body gnawed to the bones, with several rabbits nearby!

I'd test the waters carefully before diving into Hank's gene pool! It's entirely possible his family tree has no branches, if you know what I'm saying.



Brother Hank, I know this is probably a lot of confusing and silly girl chatter to you.

I'm just pointing out to LostGirl what a fine man you seem to be, and how lucky she is to find such a smart man who will take such good care of her!

[FoundGirlJNB]

Re: Need permission from Church Elders

I'm quite certain a moose weighs a bit more than you, dear!

A bull (not "buck") moose weighs anywhere from 850 to 1,600 pounds.

Wow, as much as that. Clearly I am new at this hunting thing...

They are quite common in the Freehold area, downstream from the nuclear reactor.

Oh dear, would they be safe to use for rabbit stew then?

I imagine you could carry one of those easily. Use caution, as they are known to play dead and are reputed to be carnivorous. It's said that Brother Bobby-Joe once wounded a Wiccan with a shot to the leg, and it ran off into the woods. He tracked it for hours, only to find the body gnawed to the bones, with several rabbits nearby!

Could it be possible she was attacked by a vampire clan pack of wolves and the rabbits just finished her off, like furry, four legged vultures?

I'd test the waters carefully before diving into Hank's gene pool! It's entirely possible his family tree has no branches, if you know what I'm saying.

As our chaperon I will off course also rely on you and Vinny to agree on the match. Your input will be invaluable.

[Hank]

Re: Need permission from Church Elders

I'm just pointing out to LostGirl what a fine man you seem to be, and how lucky she is to find such a smart man who will take such good care of her!

Aww shucks Jenny, you'll be maid of honor at our wedding.

LostGirl you never told me you real name?

[JennyD]

Re: Need permission from Church Elders

Aww shucks Jenny, you'll be maid of honor at our wedding.

How sweet you are!

Shall I have a blaze orange dress made, or will wrapping myself in a blue tarp suffice?

[FoundGirlJNB]

Re: Need permission from Church Elders

Brother Hank, would it be considered cheating if I bought a F250 with my trust fund money and called it a wedding present?
That way I only need to drag 1600 pounds of dead weight onto the pick up as apposed to hauling it for acres to the kitchen. Would that be ok?