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  • #1

    I want to be a True Christian Wife!!

    After Brother Basher kindly informed me of a punctuation mistake, I've realized that I need a man in my life. A strong, righteous, man with whom I can have beautiful True Christian babies. I would have never made said punctuation error if I had a husband to look over my shoulder whilst typing to proofread my words and also give his permission to post before I make a fool of myself. So... I'm a lonely, Christian, virginal-ish, woman who wants to find a wonderful, strict, husband with whom to share my life with. (My father will pay a substantial dowry. A good handshake and a successful hunting trip are all that is needed to gain his approval... hopefully)
    "I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things." -- favorite KJV verse ever!!! Our LORD is so awesome in everything he does.
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  • #2
    Re: I want to be a True Christian Wife!!

    Lady, I think you're going to have to do better than that. How old are you? What's the best pie you make? What are your housecleaning skills like?

    You aren't even a True Christian(tm) yet, lady. I'm not sure you'll find any takers around here. You might consider losing the cat and posting a photo of yourself. Many of the True Christian(tm) brothers here remember the cruel fate that befell Brother Hiram a few years ago. The man is married to the ugliest excuse for a White woman anyone's ever seen. They live on the outskirts of town, out of Christian decency and shame.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: I want to be a True Christian Wife!!

      Originally posted by greenpomaceous View Post
      After Brother Basher kindly informed me of a punctuation mistake, I've realized that I need a man in my life. A strong, righteous, man with whom I can have beautiful True Christian babies. I would have never made said punctuation error if I had a husband to look over my shoulder whilst typing to proofread my words and also give his permission to post before I make a fool of myself. So... I'm a lonely, Christian, virginal-ish, woman who wants to find a wonderful, strict, husband with whom to share my life with. (My father will pay a substantial dowry. A good handshake and a successful hunting trip are all that is needed to gain his approval... hopefully)
      While I puzzle over your choice to use two adjectives as a username (one of which refers to the "forbidden" fruit), I should like to arrange a time to render the good handshake your father requires and the guaranteed-successful hunting trip on which he and I would embark at his leisure. Has he mentioned which type of game he would prefer to stalk or a location he wishes to visit in his quest for a trophy?

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: I want to be a True Christian Wife!!

        Originally posted by greenpomaceous View Post
        After Brother Basher kindly informed me of a punctuation mistake, I've realized that I need a man in my life. A strong, righteous, man with whom I can have beautiful True Christian babies. I would have never made said punctuation error if I had a husband to look over my shoulder whilst typing to proofread my words and also give his permission to post before I make a fool of myself. So... I'm a lonely, Christian, virginal-ish, woman who wants to find a wonderful, strict, husband with whom to share my life with. (My father will pay a substantial dowry. A good handshake and a successful hunting trip are all that is needed to gain his approval... hopefully)
        Originally posted by Aleister View Post
        While I puzzle over your choice to use two adjectives as a username (one of which refers to the "forbidden" fruit), I should like to arrange a time to render the good handshake your father requires and the guaranteed-successful hunting trip on which he and I would embark at his leisure. Has he mentioned which type of game he would prefer to stalk or a location he wishes to visit in his quest for a trophy?
        I doubt she has any interest in a pustulant satanic disease-bag like yourself. But on the off chance she does I look forward to her Daddy welcoming you into their family with both barrels. Go now, in the peace of Christ.

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        • #5
          Re: I want to be a True Christian Wife!!

          Originally posted by Brother Avatar View Post
          I doubt she has any interest in a pustulant satanic disease-bag like yourself. But on the off chance she does I look forward to her Daddy welcoming you into their family with both barrels. Go now, in the peace of Christ.
          Fascinating reply, as always.

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: I want to be a True Christian Wife!!

            Originally posted by Aleister View Post
            While I puzzle over your choice to use two adjectives as a username (one of which refers to the "forbidden" fruit), I should like to arrange a time to render the good handshake your father requires and the guaranteed-successful hunting trip on which he and I would embark at his leisure. Has he mentioned which type of game he would prefer to stalk or a location he wishes to visit in his quest for a trophy?

            There are a few things if life that I am sure of,one of them would be that Anne will want nothing to do with you.

            Devil worshiper!!

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: I want to be a True Christian Wife!!

              Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
              Lady, I think you're going to have to do better than that. How old are you? What's the best pie you make? What are your housecleaning skills like?

              You aren't even a True Christian™ yet, lady. I'm not sure you'll find any takers around here. You might consider losing the cat and posting a photo of yourself. Many of the True Christian™ brothers here remember the cruel fate that befell Brother Hiram a few years ago. The man is married to the ugliest excuse for a White woman anyone's ever seen. They live on the outskirts of town, out of Christian decency and shame.
              As always, Pastor Ezekiel, you offer wonderful advice. I am 22. I make a wonderful apple pie. And I can spotlessly clean a 6 bedroom house in under two hours using only one roll of paper towels and half a bottle of windex.
              "I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things." -- favorite KJV verse ever!!! Our LORD is so awesome in everything he does.

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: I want to be a True Christian Wife!!

                Originally posted by Brother Avatar View Post
                I doubt she has any interest in a pustulant satanic disease-bag like yourself. But on the off chance she does I look forward to her Daddy welcoming you into their family with both barrels. Go now, in the peace of Christ.
                Brother Avatar, you got it right. My daddy doesn't like satanists. In fact, my daddy goes satanist hunting all the time. He even has a special gun for it: AK47. Although, that's not his game of choice for the special hunting trip that him and my future son-in-law would undertake: he wants to go gator hunting. There's nothing like a gator-dinner with craw-fish stew over rice. Yum-o. I have my nana's recipe if anyone is interested.
                "I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things." -- favorite KJV verse ever!!! Our LORD is so awesome in everything he does.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: I want to be a True Christian Wife!!

                  Miss Anne you stay way clear of the Alestier fellow,he is nothing but trouble,heart ache and sorrow.He is the devil himself that has come to the place ,he is looking for souls to steal and deals to make ...That you can be sure of !

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: I want to be a True Christian Wife!!

                    Originally posted by Lola Handcock View Post
                    Miss Anne you stay way clear of the Alestier fellow,he is nothing but trouble,heart ache and sorrow.He is the devil himself that has come to the place ,he is looking for souls to steal and deals to make ...That you can be sure of !
                    Absolutely. Lola, you have never steered me wrong.
                    "I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things." -- favorite KJV verse ever!!! Our LORD is so awesome in everything he does.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: I want to be a True Christian Wife!!

                      I know I'm not in the permitting rape thread but I was wondering if we could set up a ra..... ummmm permissible time to meet? Also, I have the $190 dollars (55 sheckels of some sort) readily available. Is there someone I should make that out to or is cash ok?

                      Seriously (not that the previous wasn't), 6 bedroom house in two hours, you sure know how to breed em in the south haha.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: I want to be a True Christian Wife!!

                        virginal-ish?

                        Sounds like a demon whore to me!

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