[Aristotle]

I agree

Is that the stars and bars you're wearing there, Miss Sally?

Don't you think it's disrespectful to be farting into the flag of America's original True Christians™?

Yes, she should remove the offending garment and send picture proof of its removal to the good Christian men of Landover Baptist.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Strong rough young bodyguards needed

I am disgusted to see such filth in a forum dedicated to the Lord.

And I am disgusted to see that while they backed up their posts with the Bible, you did not, and yet you presumed to rebuke them anyway. Post Scripture or retract.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Strong rough young bodyguards needed

By the way Miss April, my fiancee Sister Thumper was wondering if you had a good recipe for ice cubes. Can you help her out?

I didn't know Thumper was branching out into gourmet cuisine.

Why, last time I was in Freehold, she was just learning to make toast without lighting the curtains ablaze! Now look at her, she's practically a young, beautiful, non-Hellbound Martha Stewart!

You've got quite the lady there, Zeke . . . Better hurry up and marry her before I some rogue steals her away!

[Hank]

Re: Strong rough young bodyguards needed

I only do what GOD tells me to do in His Holy Bible. I'm not going to listen to you too heathens.

If GOD has ordained it who in tarnation are you two argue?

[Jake Beck]

Re: Strong rough young bodyguards needed

Well lets settle this man to man in the Biblical way.

Deuteronomy 22:28-29
28If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found;
29Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.

Whoever gets to her first gets to keep her.

Hank, you don't mean you intend to rape her, do you? If she is already being courted by Heathen Basher, then let it be. Obviously, she is spoken for and her father likes the other guy. If it doesn't work out, go for it, but untill then, wait your turn.

[GloryEverlasting]

Re: Strong rough young bodyguards needed

I am disgusted to see such filth in a forum dedicated to the Lord.

I feel it is my duty as a child of the Lord to warn you against coarse sexual behaviour, both in action, speech and thought.

May the Lord have mercy on you come the Judgement day.
Glory Be.

[Hank]

Re: Strong rough young bodyguards needed

We'll see about that.

game on

Hey Miss April wanna meet me at the back of the abandoned warehouse tonight around 11PM?

[Meek and Humble]

Re: Strong rough young bodyguards needed



We'll see about that.

[Hank]

Re: Strong rough young bodyguards needed

Me and Miss April already went out on a date a while ago.

read the scripture again, she's still fair game

[Meek and Humble]

Re: Strong rough young bodyguards needed

Me and Miss April already went out on a date a while ago.

[Hank]

Re: Strong rough young bodyguards needed

Excuse me, but who do you think you are?! I saw Miss April first!

Well lets settle this man to man in the Biblical way.

Deuteronomy 22:28-29
28If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found;
29Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.

Whoever gets to her first gets to keep her.

[Meek and Humble]

Re: Strong rough young bodyguards needed

Excuse me, but who do you think you are?! I saw Miss April first!

[Hank]

Re: Strong rough young bodyguards needed

Hey there Miss Aprel when are we going on a date? I combed my hair and bathed last month so I'm ready to go anytime you want.

[Meek and Humble]

Re: Strong rough young bodyguards needed

Miss April, don't worry you're pretty little head about it, okay? I like you just the way you are!

Say, what are you doing this Saturday?

[Miss April]

Re: Strong rough young bodyguards needed

I rest my case...

Pastor Ezekiel what do you mean by that? I'm sorry, i don't understand.