[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

And I explained that (1) those were FALSE CHRISTIANS, who GOD ignores, and (2) their wishy-washy prayers were cancelled out by the satanists' mumbo-jumbo. Have no doubt that allowing anyone except a TRUE CHRISTIAN(TM) to pray for you is like spitting on the garment of the Holy Ghost.

How about you pray for the greedy governments to stop ruining the planet in an effort to get more money and we'll see if anything happens. My guess is, nothing will.
You have no proof that your prayers are any more effective than giving someone a sugar pill.

There are hundreds of case histories. Mary Olivia Tyler prayed for mercy and she was not hit by a bus on the way home from church.

Please. If someone prays for something that is 99% likely to happen anyway, that's hardly a miracle.

Jim Carlson, from the SATANIC website 'Objective Landover shutdown'. Prayed for us to be shut down and he was mangled into strawberry jelly in a horrible accident a few days later. Do the math..

The math would indicate that the prayer had a little 'extra human assistance'. old

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

[/color]
How about you pray for the greedy governments to stop ruining the planet in an effort to get more money and we'll see if anything happens. My guess is, nothing will.

I hear this same silly argument more and more nowdays. No one can quite grasp that the earth and all life on it will end within twenty years or so, but the evidence is overwhelming. Global warming is increasing because SATAN has had to stoke up his furnaces to accommodate all of the sinners there....well over a million people die EVERY WEEK. The oceans are almost empty, the air is toxic in many cities....I can go on and on, but it's perfectly all right. No one has to worry. You see, GOD didn't create the earth to last forever. In fact, all of those fossilized bones people keep digging up prove beyond a doubt that every ten thousand years or so God just mushes everything up into a ball of clay and starts over. The earth was only designed to last until JESUS' return. Sure it was built well, but after JESUS leads us in the final battle, it will be time to start over and six days later a new world will be born. In a few thousand years the next version of GOD's creations will be sifting through pop tops and nuclear fuel rods and thinking "Hey, some civilization must have been here millions of years ago". But they will be wrong, just as you are about dinosaurs and evilution.

This is the Pistle theory Rachael, and it explains EVERYTHING from dinosaurs to global warming. It is a complete and flawless explanation, both of what we see and what the Bible says.

You have no proof that your prayers are any more effective than giving someone a sugar pill.

Yes, I have. Irrefutable evidence. Convincing evidence...PROOF! I prayed that you be allowed to live at least one more day and I didn't give you a sugar pill. Since you are still here, I think that is sufficient evidence for any jury in the world!

Please. If someone prays for something that is 99% likely to happen anyway, that's hardly a miracle.

Not at all. Mathematics tells us that EVERY matter of chance is exactly 50/50. You may toss a coin and get 'heads' a thousand times in a row, but the 1001 time the odds are STILL 50/50.

The math would indicate that the prayer had a little 'extra human assistance'. old

Mathematics does not qualify occurrences to 'with' or 'without' a little extra human assistance. Mathematics, as I have just proven, show that GOD'S will is the deciding factor.

[VinnieVespisti]

Re: ANyone not going out 2night? lets hook up!

Oh stop being silly, Vinnie. Getting you neutered wouldn't stop you from 'doing the deed' so to speak, only from spreading your seed! Isn't that what you want anyway?

aw sweetpea, I knew you had my best interests at heart.... cuz you care.

And rest assured, if I were astral travelling anywhere, the destination would most certainly not be your disease ridden boxers! Yeuuchhhh!!!

Rach, I was only funning with ya.... we both know there's no way you'd fit into my shorts.

but hey, you're sort of in proportion.....your chunky ankles are nearly as wide as your thighs, my lil chubby cheeks.

You know, I think you may be suffering from a case of unrequited love....Mrs Rogers never did return your affection, did she? So now you project that onto everyone else. Sad, really.

I love it when you play the shrink.... so you want Vinnie to lay on your couch, Dr Van Freudian Babe? only if you promise to go all Electra on my ass....

.....that's right Toots, Vinnie's your daddy now......but he ain't gonna buy you candy, cuz he don't wanna be crushed when you straddle his lap.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

I hear this same silly argument more and more nowdays. No one can quite grasp that the earth and all life on it will end within twenty years or so, but the evidence is overwhelming. Global warming is increasing because SATAN has has to stoke up his furnaces to accommodate all of the sinners there....well over a million people die EVERY WEEK. The oceans are almost empty, the air is toxic in many cities....I can go on and on, but it's perfectly all right. No one has to worry. You see, GOD didn't create the earth to last forever. In fact, all of those fossilized bones people keep digging up prove beyond a doubt that every ten thousand years or so God just mushes everything up into a ball of clay and starts over. The earth was only designed to last until JESUS' return. Sure it was built well, but after JESUS leads us in the final battle, it will be time to start over and six days later a new world will be born. In a few thousand years the next version of GOD's creations will be sifting through pop tops and nuclear fuel rods and thinking "Hey, some civilization must have been here millions of years ago". But they will be wrong, just as you are about dinosaurs and evilution.

This is the Pistle theory Rachael, and it explains EVERYTHING from dinosaurs to global warming. It is a complete and flawless explanation, both of what we see and what the Bible says.

Ridiculous. The earth was doing fine until people showed up. It has been doing fine for billions of years and it only took humans a couple hundred to mess it up beyond repair. It is not the doing of a 'devil', but of the greedy, thoughtless human race. It was, and has always been within our power to stop the damage but people, being too greedy to care about anything except making a buck or two. By the time we're done with it, maybe only roaches and scorpions will be able to live here.
Pray for that to be reversed, and if it happens then that might lean more towards proof.

Yes, I have. Irrefutable evidence. Convincing evidence...PROOF! I prayed that you be allowed to live at least one more day and I didn't give you a sugar pill. Since you are still here, I think that is sufficient evidence for any jury in the world!

Oh come ON! I could equally argue that I made a marshmallow offering to the boogeyman and THAT is why I'm still alive!

Not at all. Mathematics tells us that EVERY matter of chance is exactly 50/50. You may toss a coin and get 'heads' a thousand times in a row, but the 1001 time the odds are STILL 50/50.

Chance, shmance. We're talking probability here.

Mathematics does not qualify occurrences to 'with' or 'without' a little extra human assistance. Mathematics, as I have just proven, show that GOD'S will is the deciding factor.

Like I said, what's to stop me arguing it was the boogeyman's will? Or Marvin the Martian's?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

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Ridiculous. The earth was doing fine until people showed up. It has been doing fine for billions of years and it only took humans a couple hundred to mess it up beyond repair. It is not the doing of a 'devil', but of the greedy, thoughtless human race. It was, and has always been within our power to stop the damage but people, being too greedy to care about anything except making a buck or two. By the time we're done with it, maybe only roaches and scorpions will be able to live here.

Ok, so now your crazy position is that the earth is "billions of years old" (unbiblical) and that humans have only been here "a couple hundred years" (unbiblical and patently absurd).

When will you get it through your pea-brain that EVERYTHING is God's will. It is only by His diving grace that the air we breathe isn't poisonous. No matter what we humans do, Jesus will decide what the results will be.

As for your arrogant comment about "making a buck or two"; communism is dead in case you hadn't heard. Get over it. Jesus wants us to make plenty of money, all the better to tithe with. It is not the goal of normal people to squat in a ditch and push berries up their nose, as you pagan scum so relish.

Don't you have a kitchen floor to scrub on your hands and knees?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

[/color][/color]
Ridiculous. The earth was doing fine until people showed up. It has been doing fine for billions of years and it only took humans a couple hundred to mess it up beyond repair. It is not the doing of a 'devil', but of the greedy, thoughtless human race. It was, and has always been within our power to stop the damage but people, being too greedy to care about anything except making a buck or two. By the time we're done with it, maybe only roaches and scorpions will be able to live here.
Pray for that to be reversed, and if it happens then that might lean more towards proof.

Exactly the opposite! The fact that the world is crashing IS the work of the DEVIL! The Bible says so! Satanists are INTENTIONALLY turning the earth into HELL because they are tools of the devil. All we have to fight them with is one small book, the love of JESUS, George W. Bush and the American military/industrial complex.

Oh come ON! I could equally argue that I made a marshmallow offering to the boogeyman and THAT is why I'm still alive!

But we'd both know that isn't true. You know as well as I do that you are only alive because of my prayers to JESUS.

Chance, shmance. We're talking probability here.

Yes. The field of probability and statistics interested me once until I realized that it is all up to GOD. The most improbable things you can imagine happen. The most statistically relevant things are completely ignored.....yet life goes on.

Like I said, what's to stop me arguing it was the boogeyman's will? Or Marvin the Martian's?

The 'ban' button.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: ANyone not going out 2night? lets hook up!

aw sweetpea, I knew you had my best interests at heart.... cuz you care.

I care about the future of the human race, you mean We can't afford to have too many greasy genes in the gene pool.

Rach, I was only funning with ya.... we both know there's no way you'd fit into my shorts.

No way I'd be within a 100 mile radius of them, you mean! Mind you, all people within that radius would doubtless be able to smell 'em!

but hey, you're sort of in proportion.....your chunky ankles are nearly as wide as your thighs, my lil chubby cheeks.

This is not the case, I'm afraid, and I'll thank YOU not to fantasize about my thighs or ankles.

I love it when you play the shrink.... so you want Vinnie to lay on your couch, Dr Van Freudian Babe? only if you promise to go all Electra on my ass....

It's not playing the shrink. I'm clearly right. Your avoiding the issue only shows your deep infatuation with Mrs Rogers....you really need to tell her these feelings, Vinnie, then you'll feel like a new man!

.....that's right Toots, Vinnie's your daddy now......but he ain't gonna buy you candy, cuz he don't wanna be crushed when you straddle his lap.

Only in your dreams and my nightmares.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

I prayed that you be allowed to live at least one more day and I didn't give you a sugar pill.

What on earth were you thinking?

[Lunadea]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

An example of good sized hoochies is Miss hermione Granger. not too big or too small.

[Alotta Woman]

Still lookng 4 that guy!!!

i dont know why my personal ad is dominated by some old pastor who looks like he just had his best bowell move ever and some witch? I am not a lezbo! but that doesnt mean i might not tryit.

im still looking 4 a cool guy to go on a date with. i am a very layed back person, with a sacrastic sense of humor. i am a very adventerious girl, looking for someone to have fun with. i am not looking for a relationship, just a couple of dates. No one over 26 please. Anything else you wanna know about me just e-mail me.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

What on earth were you thinking?

That's what I was thinking. Why would Pastor Al be praying for me to stay alive?

[Lunadea]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

That's what I was thinking. Why would Pastor Al be praying for me to stay alive?

Given, Mrs Van Helpless, that it was only for at 'least another day', there could be many reasons. Perhaps he hopes that you may find the Lord within the next 24 hours, accidently hit the Paypal button, or he simply wants the pleasure of banning you before you pass on to the er, next phase.

[hellion]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

Hmm. Are you sure she isn't some kind of False Christian?[/QUOTE]

Yes. She preaches to me more than you do. It's sickening. Point so being, everyone gets sick.

[hellion]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

Mono is GOD's punishment for putting your mouth where it doesn't belong. She isn't a real Christian.

Mono can be transmited by talking to someone. It can be transmited throught the air. It's highly contagious. And she is a real christian.

[Enobarbus]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

Mono can be transmited by talking to someone. It can be transmited throught the air. It's highly contagious. And she is a real christian.

The Pastor has just said that she is not a real Christian. Do not contradict him, you stupid little cow.

If she is not a Landover Baptist she is a "false Christian". Savvy?