[Miss Maisie]

Re: Stern Master Seeks Timid Church-Mouse With Childbearing Hips

Why, WH, I believe Dances with goats would make you a fine slave unpaid housekeeper. She ain't able to bear children as she done blasphemed and pulled out her oven, but she'd probably make a decent housekeeper for your family if y'all have no womenfolk.

I do warn you though, she may need discipline. She don't know her place.

[Nobar King]

Re: Stern Master Seeks Timid Church-Mouse With Childbearing Hips

I don't listen to Michael Jackson, so I don't know the lyrics to "Beat It."

What's wrong with Michael? He's not fem enough for you?

[Dr. Santiago Solo]

Re: Stern Master Seeks Timid Church-Mouse With Childbearing Hips

Why, WH, I believe Dances with goats would make you a fine slave unpaid housekeeper. She ain't able to bear children as she done blasphemed and pulled out her oven, but she'd probably make a decent housekeeper for your family if y'all have no womenfolk.

I do warn you though, she may need discipline. She don't know her place.

Amen to that, Sister Maisie, she does not know how to behave like a decent, God fearing lady, I think she is in desperate need of spanking...

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Stern Master Seeks Timid Church-Mouse With Childbearing Hips

Why, WH, I believe Dances with goats would make you a fine slave unpaid housekeeper. She ain't able to bear children as she done blasphemed and pulled out her oven, but she'd probably make a decent housekeeper for your family if y'all have no womenfolk.

The only house I clean for no pay is my own.

I do warn you though, she may need discipline. She don't know her place.

My place is any where I choose to be. As for discipline, be warned - I hit back.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Stern Master Seeks Timid Church-Mouse With Childbearing Hips

What's wrong with Michael? He's not fem enough for you?

His songs are just not my style. I like blues, rock, classical, jazz, and folk - I don't care for pop.

[Justina Thyme]

Re: Stern Master Seeks Timid Church-Mouse With Childbearing Hips

His songs are just not my style. I like blues, rock, classical, jazz, and folk - I don't care for pop.

So you're saying you like mom?

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Stern Master Seeks Timid Church-Mouse With Childbearing Hips

So you're saying you like mom?

I listed several musical genres before "pop." I assumed that Landovites would have sense enough to know that I was referring to pop music.

In answer to your question, though, I love both my parents, but I don't call me father Pop; I call him Dad.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Stern Master Seeks Timid Church-Mouse With Childbearing Hips

I listed several musical genres before "pop." I assumed that Landovites would have sense enough to know that I was referring to pop music.

In answer to your question, though, I love both my parents, but I don't call me father Pop; I call him Dad.

Well, I'm glad to know that you don't enrage Christ by calling him "Father." You may be damned to eternal torture in Hell for being an insufferably annoying Stalinist bigot, but at least you're still closer to being Saved than "father" Martin is.

[SUV]

Re: Stern Master Seeks Timid Church-Mouse With Childbearing Hips

at least you're still closer to being Saved than "father" Martin is.

My GOD, have you seen him lately ,Brother Temperance? He is one sick Puppy!!!

It's been a few days now; perhaps he's slunk away with his tail tucked between his badge

[JennyD]

Re: Stern Master Seeks Timid Church-Mouse With Childbearing Hips

There is no one to take out the trash, fetch my beers and wash my feet...no one to silently, with clenched teeth, submit to vigorous acts of rightious seeding...

I've been praying to Christ for a replacement, and I believe that this forum is literally an answer to my prayers. I require a servile woman with ample breasts and childbearing hips. She must be adept at using the tools of her trade (i.e. toilet brush, mop, broom, wood splitting maul, etc.). She shall anticipate my, and my sons', every need. She is to obey our orders without question or hesitation. She should be neither claustrophobic nor scared of the dark, as this would make her sessions in the 'prayer closet' most unenjoyable, especially for those who have to listen to her screaming in there.

Wholesome Christian women who fit this description, please apply here. Many will jump at this opportunity, I'm sure...but only one will win my heart! God bless and good luck!

Could you define "vigorous", Brother Hammer?

Er, some of the ladies are asking.

For once I agree with Dancer!

Check this out: http://www.buzzhumor.com/videos/1146...ats_Up_Husband

I hope this abusive spouse was punished to the letter of the law.

She certainly has the weight advantage.

Of course, we don't expect folks of that sort to follow any manner of Christian lifestyle. I'm guessing he took the last piece of KFC, or maybe the last hit off the crack pipe.

[Joshua Brooks]

Re: Stern Master Seeks Timid Church-Mouse With Childbearing Hips

For once I agree with Dancer!

Check this out: http://www.buzzhumor.com/videos/1146...ats_Up_Husband

I hope this abusive spouse was punished to the letter of the law.

I couldn't tell which was the wife or which was the husband. I figured that the larger nig was the male... but I'm just not certain. It does say, "Wife Beats up Husband". I simply don't watch enough natural geographics to be able to distinguish between the male and females of that sub-species.

I believe I saw Dances with Joy on an episode of Wife Swap. I keep thinking the entire episode that she had two kids and no husband. It turns out that one of the little boys that I mistakened for her son was actually supposed to be her husband. They were typical pot smoking, tree hugging, non-bathing hippies.

Danaces with Joy, was that you?

Or perhaps the "man" featured in this vid is your husband? It wasn't till the last part of the video that I figured he may in fact live in the same house as you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3P4VFjA1WYc

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Stern Master Seeks Timid Church-Mouse With Childbearing Hips

I couldn't tell which was the wife or which was the husband. I figured that the larger nig was the male... but I'm just not certain. It does say, "Wife Beats up Husband". I simply don't watch enough natural geographics to be able to distinguish between the male and females of that sub-species.

I believe I saw Dances with Joy on an episode of Wife Swap. I keep thinking the entire episode that she had two kids and no husband. It turns out that one of the little boys that I mistakened for her son was actually supposed to be her husband. They were typical pot smoking, tree hugging, non-bathing hippies.

Danaces with Joy, was that you?

Or perhaps the "man" featured in this vid is your husband? It wasn't till the last part of the video that I figured he may in fact live in the same house as you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3P4VFjA1WYc

I don't watch so-called reality tv, and I would certainly never appear on any of those ridiculous programs.

[Deaner]

Re: Stern Master Seeks Timid Church-Mouse With Childbearing Hips

I don't watch so-called reality tv, and I would certainly never appear on any of those ridiculous programs.

Aww c'mon Dances it would be funny. You could do some pagan stuff and beat up your queer husband for everybody.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Stern Master Seeks Timid Church-Mouse With Childbearing Hips

Aww c'mon Dances it would be funny. You could do some pagan stuff and beat up your queer husband for everybody.

I don't perform my religious rituals for the entertainment of spectators, and I don't beat people up, especially people I love.

[JennyD]

Re: Stern Master Seeks Timid Church-Mouse With Childbearing Hips

I don't perform my religious rituals for the entertainment of spectators, and I don't beat people up, especially people I love.

You could perform your animal and human sacrifices for the education of spectators, and you could beat your queer husband off whenever he tries to get in the way of your "communing with the Oddess".