[Roland]

Re: Pray for Sister Elizabeth Johnson, newly a widow

[...]As he said in an earlier post, his knowledge of the event comes from previous posts and the Holy Ghost. If he was with Sister Elizabeth's husband, it was probably for a completely innocent reason. [...]

Hello Esther,

That is so true. Besides, .223 is a common calibre. It could have come from anywhere.

Kind regards,

Roland

[Samuel Hubbard]

Re: Pray for Sister Elizabeth Johnson, newly a widow

How dare you accuse Brother Larry of killing Sister Elizabeth's husband. As he said in an earlier post, his knowledge of the event comes from previous posts and the Holy Ghost. If he was with Sister Elizabeth's husband, it was probably for a completely innocent reason. Brother Larry is a Godly man who would never do anything to make a True Christian™ woman a widow, even if he did admire her.

Esther, how can you believe this drivel? Didn't you see what Brother Larry said in his original post about an investigation coming up empty? If he had nothing to do with Mrs. Johnson's husband's death, he wouldn't need to be praying about something like that.

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Pray for Sister Elizabeth Johnson, newly a widow

Esther, how can you believe this drivel? Didn't you see what Brother Larry said in his original post about an investigation coming up empty? If he had nothing to do with Mrs. Johnson's husband's death, he wouldn't need to be praying about something like that.

Mr. Hubbard,
Do you happen to live near godless New York City? I would like to fellowship with you so we can discuss your misunderstanding of my posts like men rather than have you speculate and draw unnecessary attention during the Widow Johnson's time of sorrow and appropriate mourning. (although it is time to shed the black, Liz - find yourself a new red frock and order a pizza)


So, Sam - when can we meet? I know a very private place where we can talk for as long as you live! I would love to show you my gnathology tools. They are quite expensive, though. Do you have horses? I'd be happy to take a look.

[Samuel Hubbard]

Re: Pray for Sister Elizabeth Johnson, newly a widow

Mr. Hubbard,
Do you happen to live near godless New York City? I would like to fellowship with you so we can discuss your misunderstanding of my posts like men rather than have you speculate and draw unnecessary attention during the Widow Johnson's time of sorrow and appropriate mourning. (although it is time to shed the black, Liz - find yourself a new red frock and order a pizza)


So, Sam - when can we meet? I know a very private place where we can talk for as long as you live! I would love to show you my gnathology tools. They are quite expensive, though. Do you have horses? I'd be happy to take a look.

Really, telling a recent widow to stop wearing mourning clothes and wear a color that most of the people here say is only for harlots?


As for your offer to meet, I'll have to decline because I no longer live less than 2 hours away from New York City. After breaking off my engagement with Esther (who has clearly been brainwashed), I had to move to my brother's farm to avoid her father's wrath. If you wish to talk about horses, you should talk to my brother because he owns horses.

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Pray for Sister Elizabeth Johnson, newly a widow

I had to move to my brother's farm to avoid her father's wrath. If you wish to talk about horses, you should talk to my brother because he owns horses.

I'm sure I can find your brother's farm. Let's set up a time when I can come to meet him and his horses. I just hope you'll be there too. You can hold my tools while I examine his animals. Just promise me that you and I can have some alone time with no one around so we can share Christian fellowship.


Sorry that you and Esther weren't meant to be. But, there is a time for every purpose under Heaven. Perhaps it just wasn't your time. (Ecclesiastes 3:1)


So Esther - how YOU doin?
God bless you, Sam. I look forward to settling our differences as men should. (Ephesians 4:32)

[handmaiden]

Re: Pray for Sister Elizabeth Johnson, newly a widow

I wasn't judging him, I was merely pointing out how suspicious Mrs. Johnson's husband's death seems. I recall seeing a thread a while ago where Brother Larry said he was waiting for something to happen to Mrs. Johnson's husband. He also mentioned something about the killer taking $50 in a different thread where he went into more detail about what was going on when Mr. Johnson's husband was shot. I think he paid someone to kill her husband so he could marry her.

If you re-read my post with any care, you will see that I did not accuse you of judging him. I informed you that your allegations were wildly inaccurate and advised you that your status within this forum did not allow for you to make aspersions on an accepted member of our community.


Furthermore, I directed you to offer an apology and make nice while playing with others. Instead, you offered up an actionable libelous statement by publicly stating that a True Christian gentleman arranged for someone's murder. Worse, your statement suggests that BrotherLarry is not man enough to do the deed himself.


If BrotherLarry wanted someone dead because of unrequited lust for that man's wife, he would take a direct hand in the killing, rather than wimping out and delegating the job. Next, you will accuse him of deliberately having put Sister Elizabeth's husband on the front lines of some dangerous military operation in the hopes that the enemy would end the fellow's life and leave his own hands clean in the matter.


Really. As if some truly righteous person who loved the Lord God with all his heart could do such a thing.


Scoldingly Yours,


Handmaiden

[Samuel Hubbard]

Re: Pray for Sister Elizabeth Johnson, newly a widow

I'm sure I can find your brother's farm. Let's set up a time when I can come to meet him and his horses. I just hope you'll be there too. You can hold my tools while I examine his animals. Just promise me that you and I can have some alone time with no one around so we can share Christian fellowship.


Sorry that you and Esther weren't meant to be. But, there is a time for every purpose under Heaven. Perhaps it just wasn't your time. (Ecclesiastes 3:1)


So Esther - how YOU doin?
God bless you, Sam. I look forward to settling our differences as men should. (Ephesians 4:32)

My apologies for the delay in responding, one of my brother's cows was giving birth and God spoke to me. He told me that I should open my mind and get the truth from you instead of making assumptions based on what I've read about what happened to Mrs. Johnson's husband. I am truly sorry for my earlier accusations. I look forward to meeting with you, but I should warn you that I will have to keep a shotgun with me to protect us and the livestock from predators and the occasional thief.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Pray for Sister Elizabeth Johnson, newly a widow

So you carry a shotgun, Mr Hubbard. Tell us, do you ever carry an AR-15?

[Esther B.]

Re: Pray for Sister Elizabeth Johnson, newly a widow

Oh, dear, it seems like Samuel still has my password. I should change it.

Keeping on topic, I will keep Sister Elizabeth in my prayers.

[handmaiden]

Re: Pray for Sister Elizabeth Johnson, newly a widow

Oh, dear, it seems like Samuel still has my password. I should change it.

Keeping on topic, I will keep Sister Elizabeth in my prayers.

Indeed, Esther, make certain to change your passwords nearly as often as you change your hosiery.


A girl can't be too safe or too clean.


Well-Scrubbedly Yours,


Handmaiden

[Samuel Hubbard]

Re: Pray for Sister Elizabeth Johnson, newly a widow

So you carry a shotgun, Mr Hubbard. Tell us, do you ever carry an AR-15?

As I said when I forgot to log out of Esther's account (I'm still in the habit of occasionally checking her posts), I used to have one, but it was stolen a few months after I moved to my brother's farm. Please don't blame Esther for the confusing post, it was my fault.

[Esther B.]

Re: Pray for Sister Elizabeth Johnson, newly a widow

Indeed, Esther, make certain to change your passwords nearly as often as you change your hosiery.


A girl can't be too safe or too clean.


Well-Scrubbedly Yours,


Handmaiden

Thank you for the suggestion, Sister. I considered changing my password after my engagement was broken off, but my feeble female mind quickly forgot to do so.

[Samuel Hubbard]

Re: Pray for Sister Elizabeth Johnson, newly a widow

Why did I get an infraction for answering Mrs. Lytton-Vasey's post and apologizing for causing the confusion with Esther's account?

[handmaiden]

Re: Pray for Sister Elizabeth Johnson, newly a widow

Why did I get an infraction for answering Mrs. Lytton-Vasey's post and apologizing for causing the confusion with Esther's account?

I cannot answer your question, Mr, Hubbard. I would like to note, however, that anticipating one's wedding vows by the premarital sharing of passwords is severely frowned upon here at Landover Baptist.


I mean, severely,.


I peel the carrot towards you, young man, whilst I go in search of more punitive emoticons.


Reprovingly Yours,


Handmaiden

[Samuel Hubbard]

Re: Pray for Sister Elizabeth Johnson, newly a widow

I cannot answer your question, Mr, Hubbard. I would like to note, however, that anticipating one's wedding vows by the premarital sharing of passwords is severely frowned upon here at Landover Baptist.


I mean, severely,.


I peel the carrot towards you, young man, whilst I go in search of more punitive emoticons.


Reprovingly Yours,


Handmaiden

Esther's father gave me her password and let her know about it a few days later. I know she wasn't happy about it, but she knew better than to argue with her father (I wish she had, though).