[Rev. SparkleJugs]

Re: Pray for 75% of Americans

Perhaps the others feel that the signs of His coming are not here, and thus he will not be returning in 2007, but at a later time, when the signs fortold in the bible are here.

[Arethusa]

Re: Pray for 75% of Americans

Probably because he is a GODLY Man while you are but a simple minded woman. Dirty language is not something a lady like you should use.

Well according to him it wasn't swearing anyway. Hmph. And I didn't think it was that bad of a word! Shows what I know I suppose.

[Silent Shadow]

Re: Pray for 75% of Americans

For TWO THOUSAND years now people have been expecting the return of JC, love. BUT...haha....WHERE is HE? Is he coming by the slow boat from Taiwan? If he is coming then he must be CRAWLING on his knees....oh wait...on HIS knees....hmmm...that's a thought loves. Anyway, where is he? I honesting do not understand why you self righteous just don't give it up and come into REALITY as you set aside your little JC fantasy.


Twink

Twink, I hate to state the obvious, but you're going to hell. Sorry about your luck.

[eliot mayfield]

Re: Pray for 75% of Americans

Damned is not a bad word. It's what happens to sinners.
You can use it as a verb.
"Jesus damned the homer to Hell."
or as an adjective
"That damned homer is going to Hell."

[Jesus is Lord]

Re: Pray for 75% of Americans

Hold on a minute. How come BT gets to swear unmoderated but if I post a "crap" certain persons who shall go unnamed (Pastor Ezekiel ) edits them out?

Probably because he is a GODLY Man while you are but a simple minded woman. Dirty language is not something a lady like you should use.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Pray for 75% of Americans

Hold on a minute. How come BT gets to swear unmoderated but if I post a "crap" certain persons who shall go unnamed (Pastor Ezekiel ) edits them out?

What swearing? All I was saying is that when Jesus condemns whatever hellbound sinner we were discussing to their eternal punishment, they will feel pretty silly, and also be damned. What's wrong with that?

[Brother Love]

Re: Pray for 75% of Americans

Only once huh? Damn, if he had existed, he sure must have had one lousy sex life. *snicker*

Ok.....seriously...Twink is right. People have been 'predicting' a return for years and years. Nothing, huh? Not even an 'IOU an appearance' card. Face it people, it ain't happening.

You know HELL-SINGER, Jesus told us that people like you would SCOFF at HIM in these LAST DAYS. Guess HE was ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!!

[Arethusa]

Re: Pray for 75% of Americans

2007 makes as much sense as the year He SAID He was coming back. Obviously He was kidding that first time, but now the world is ready! COME BACK JESUS! LEAD US TO ARMAGEDDON! DIE, HERETICS, DIE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! GLORY, GLORY!

Pastor Pistle, have you been drinking?

The correct answer, of course, is that Jesus will come when He feels like coming, and any sneaky pollsters asking trick questions should be made to answer a few sharp questions themselves, like whether they've accepted Jesus Christ as their personal saviour yet. Nevertheless, we should live as though He'll be returning today. After all, if He does, and you weren't living a good Christian life, you'd feel pretty damned silly, wouldn't you?

Hold on a minute. How come BT gets to swear unmoderated but if I post a "crap" certain persons who shall go unnamed (Pastor Ezekiel ) edits them out?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Pray for 75% of Americans

He's coming back, but why this year? Of all the years for him to come, why 2007? It doesn't make much sense. Anywho, it's not for us to know the day nor the hour when he comes. Just be prepared at all times. Maybe, I'll get some Bible quotes later.

2007 makes as much sense as the year He SAID He was coming back. Obviously He was kidding that first time, but now the world is ready! COME BACK JESUS! LEAD US TO ARMAGEDDON! DIE, HERETICS, DIE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! GLORY, GLORY!

[Born Again Kev]

Re: Pray for 75% of Americans

He's coming back, but why this year? Of all the years for him to come, why 2007? It doesn't make much sense. Anywho, it's not for us to know the day nor the hour when he comes. Just be prepared at all times. Maybe, I'll get some Bible quotes later.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Pray for 75% of Americans

But I don't have a prayer closet! I need the space for my dowdy, ugly clothes.

Typical feminine silliness. Clothes are for wearing, not clogging up prayer closets with. If all your clothes are in the prayer closet, one can only assume you're running around as nude as Eve. That is not God's idea of how a decent Christian woman should behave. I imagine it must also be pretty cold, especially this time of year. Put some clothes on, and that should free up some space in your closet.

I still have questions though pastor, please don't beat me. I know the Lord is planning to surprise some day soon to take us away into Glory but wouldn't it be just as bad if those 75% said that God WAS gonna come this year? And shouldn't the other 25% be getting raped in hell fire also, for guessing the due date?

I'm just trying to be a Good Christian. Honest!

The correct answer, of course, is that Jesus will come when He feels like coming, and any sneaky pollsters asking trick questions should be made to answer a few sharp questions themselves, like whether they've accepted Jesus Christ as their personal saviour yet. Nevertheless, we should live as though He'll be returning today. After all, if He does, and you weren't living a good Christian life, you'd feel pretty damned silly, wouldn't you?

I wish I could give a proper response to that--in truth it all seems very complicated and confusing, but thinking has been getting me into a lot of trouble lately. I'm trying to break the habit with God's help and good (thoughts about) tithing.

Praise Jesus! You're learning. However, these thoughts about tithing could easily lead onto other, more harmful thoughts. Better just tithe and not think about it, I'd say.

[Arethusa]

Re: Pray for 75% of Americans

Listen female, I'd like to know how you DARE to attempt to "catch" a Pastor in any sense of the word. You are an empty-headed girl, with an obviously imperfect understanding of both Holy Scripture and Pastoral Sermonizing.

The point I was attempting to make was that the vast majority of Americans, at least according to this secular poll, have such weak faith and are so far removed from God's Grace that they don't accept the FACT that Jesus could arrive at ANY MOMENT, you foolish girl!

2 Peter 3:10-- But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up.

"Like a thief in the night" means AT ANY MOMENT, even when you are asleep or chopping up a rabbit for your man's supper or doing your business on the toilet! 75% or Americans told that jew reporter that they doubt that our Lord Jesus is coming this year. You obviously could not wrap your female mind around this simple explanation on my part of how the world is going to hell in a hand basket.

After spending a few hours locked in your prayer closet, I'll be expecting you to call my secretary and arrange for a private appointment in my chambers ASAP. We need to get something straight between us, young lady.

But I don't have a prayer closet! I need the space for my dowdy, ugly clothes. I still have questions though pastor, please don't beat me. I know the Lord is planning to surprise some day soon to take us away into Glory but wouldn't it be just as bad if those 75% said that God WAS gonna come this year? And shouldn't the other 25% be getting raped in hell fire also, for guessing the due date?

I'm just trying to be a Good Christian. Honest!

Listen here woman!
Matthew 16:28 Verily I say unto you, There be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of man coming in his kingdom.
Jesus explicitly promised His followers that some of them would still be alive when He returned. Does it seem plausible that a contemporary of Jesus' would still be alive in 2008? No, it doesn't. Therefore, Jesus must return this year. It's all very simple when you think about it.

I wish I could give a proper response to that--in truth it all seems very complicated and confusing, but thinking has been getting me into a lot of trouble lately. I'm trying to break the habit with God's help and good (thoughts about) tithing.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Pray for 75% of Americans

Coming AGAIN??

I'd have thought the first caused more than enough problems.

Only once huh? Damn, if he had existed, he sure must have had one lousy sex life. *snicker*

Ok.....seriously...Twink is right. People have been 'predicting' a return for years and years. Nothing, huh? Not even an 'IOU an appearance' card. Face it people, it ain't happening.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Pray for 75% of Americans

Aha! Pastor Ezekiel I've caught you. Didn't our Dear Lord and Saviour through that glorious mysoginist Peter say that we are not to be presumptuous on this point?

Although I think that AP, being "scoffers" will end up in hell anyway and that the 75% presuming to say that Jesus is NOT coming to this year, implying that they know anything about His plan, will be frying in Satan's urine batter also.

Listen here woman!
Matthew 16:28 Verily I say unto you, There be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of man coming in his kingdom.
Jesus explicitly promised His followers that some of them would still be alive when He returned. Does it seem plausible that a contemporary of Jesus' would still be alive in 2008? No, it doesn't. Therefore, Jesus must return this year. It's all very simple when you think about it.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Pray for 75% of Americans

Listen female, I'd like to know how you DARE to attempt to "catch" a Pastor in any sense of the word. You are an empty-headed girl, with an obviously imperfect understanding of both Holy Scripture and Pastoral Sermonizing.

The point I was attempting to make was that the vast majority of Americans, at least according to this secular poll, have such weak faith and are so far removed from God's Grace that they don't accept the FACT that Jesus could arrive at ANY MOMENT, you foolish girl!

2 Peter 3:10-- But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up.

"Like a thief in the night" means AT ANY MOMENT, even when you are asleep or chopping up a rabbit for your man's supper or doing your business on the toilet! 75% or Americans told that jew reporter that they doubt that our Lord Jesus is coming this year. You obviously could not wrap your female mind around this simple explanation on my part of how the world is going to hell in a hand basket.

After spending a few hours locked in your prayer closet, I'll be expecting you to call my secretary and arrange for a private appointment in my chambers ASAP. We need to get something straight between us, young lady.