Please pray for me. :-)

[exMormon]

Friends,

I know the Lord works on his own time, but I'm not getting any younger. I don't mean to rush him, but maybe you all could pray for me.

Here's how it goes. I acted the REAL Jesus Christ as my Lord and personal Saviour a while back. I held off on praying for the good things for a while so that Jesus wouldn't think I was only in it for the benefits. For about a year now I have been praying for a few things, but I have yet to get them. The things I have been praying for are as follows: BMW SUV, black, with all the bells and whistles. Cartier Men's Rubies and Diamonds collection (for wearing to Church, obviously). $1,000,000,000 cash (for tithing, obviously).

Now, originally, I thought that maybe I was doing something wrong. I realised early on that God might be trying to leave these things for me, but maybe he couldn't find a place in my house for them. I know sometimes our saviour can take awhile to catch on to things. So what I did is I placed an empty chest in my living room for him to leave the Cartier stuff and the cash, and instead of parking my car in the garage I started parking it in the street so that he has somewhere to put my new car.

Every night before bed I pray for these things and I know in my heart that the next morning they will be there. As soon as I hop out of bed I run out to the garage and to the chest to see if my stuff is there yet. It's yet to come, but I know the Lord always delivers and he works in mysterious ways. God himself said all things are possible through him.

So if you all could pray for me, that would be nice. I am sure it would really speed up the process, because I know sometimes Jesus needs to be reminded of things because he's so busy.

YIC

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Please pray for me. :-)

So you think Jesus is a magic Genie? If prayer worked like that then only Good Christians would win the lottery.

Jesus told us how to pray.

After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.

[Vascilios]

Re: Please pray for me. :-)

BelieverInGod, I believe that he was being sarcastic. I do not know why he would waste your time like that, but, I would like to apologize on his behalf and hope that he lets Jesus into his heart to cleanse away the demons that are making him do such an awful thing.

[exMormon]

Re: Please pray for me. :-)

The Lord said that ALL things are possible through him. Do you doubt the innerrancy of the Lord's word?

Matthew 17:20

And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.

I believe in the whole ENTIRE Bible, and the Bible tells me everything if possible. I guess you just don't have enough faith in Christ.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Please pray for me. :-)

The Bible also says to not tempt God. Even Jesus wouldn't dare tempt his Father.

Deut 6:16 Ye shall not tempt the LORD your God, as ye tempted him in Massah.

Matthew 4:6-7 And saith unto him, If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down: for it is written, He shall give his angels charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone. Jesus said unto him, It is written again, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.

Luke 4:9-12 And he brought him to Jerusalem, and set him on a pinnacle of the temple, and said unto him, If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down from hence: For it is written, He shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee: And in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone. And Jesus answering said unto him, It is said, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.


Anyway, if God did answer your prayer, would you really be happy? Or would you just keep asking God to give you more and more? Are you worshipping God? Or is your Mormon worship of money starting to creep back into your life?

[exMormon]

Re: Please pray for me. :-)

Well, being a Christian is supposed to come with perks, no? Betty Bowers said in one of her videos that being America's best Christian come with "even better Jewelry". Are you stating that what Betty said is not true? I do understand that she is America's ®, but surely God gives good Jewelry to all of his followers who ask?
I know that being a Christian is hardwork, but all things are possible through God.

Maybe a pastor could clarify for me. Am I wrong?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Please pray for me. :-)

Well, being a Christian is supposed to come with perks, no? Betty Bowers said in one of her videos that being America's best Christian come with "even better Jewelry". Are you stating that what Betty said is not true? I do understand that she is America's ®, but surely God gives good Jewelry to all of his followers who ask?
I know that being a Christian is hardwork, but all things are possible through God.

Maybe a pastor could clarify for me. Am I wrong?

You have it backwards.

God rewards those who have faith in Him. It's not a question of begging like some filthy gypsy.

You aren't a True Christian(tm), and you're still in the process of shaking off your filthy mormon demons. We're all praying for you to find your way.

[exMormon]

Re: Please pray for me. :-)

Thank you, Pastor Zeke. I know I have a lot of work to do in order to get right with God. Thank you for clarifying this for me. I guess I need to go back and read my KJV again.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Please pray for me. :-)

I guess I need to go back and read my KJV again.

You guessed right.