Elderly Queer Beater Johnny Joe Thomas Needs Your Prayers

[Youth Minister Harry]

The Bible does not place an age limit on sin. A good Baptist like Johnny Joe Thomas knows his Bible and knew that no matter how old someone is, no one gets away with sinning against the Lord. That's why when 70 year old joo Murray Seidman tried to rape young 28 year old Johnny Joe, Johnny Joe just beat the old man off.

I thank the Lord that young Johnny Joe was able to defend himself from the onslaught of faggotry that nearly overwhelmed him. God armed him with His Word that homosexuality is an abomination against the Lord and that homers are to be put to death (Romans 1:24-32).

Normally we are to obey secular laws (1 Peter 2:13-15), but Johnny Joe was in a bind. This is one of those emergency situations in which God helps those who help themselves. Because Johnny Joe knew God's Word, he was able to quickly defend himself by leaving the house, then finding a gym sock, then looking for some rocks, then putting those rocks into the gym sock, then going back into the house, then chasing the evil man around the house, catching the abomination, and beating the old queer joo to death with the sock. "When it really counts, that Bible training just kicks in and takes over", said a relieved Johnny Joe Thomas.

A terrified, handsome young Johnny Joe, who did the right thing when it mattered most.

Poor Johnny Joe was terrified for his own soul, but in the face of an emergency, he was able to choose to defend himself with stones rather than any other random object, showing that he was truly inspired to act by The Word of God. This quick thinking saved him from the old demon-possessed man, but not from the homers who have infiltrated the legal system in Philadelphia. The gay agenda led legal system is accusing him of a crime in defending himself against the filthy old jooqueer. Young Johnny Joe needs your prayers and also any secular legal assistance (or funds) you might be able to muster.

This is also a good time to remind parents to send their boys to a good Bible Training Camp this summer to ensure they know the ins and outs of homosexuality. Every July we hold a Bear-Cub Deep Woods Retreat to teach the boys a little rough love. Some boys just need to learn the hard way how homos can hurt them, for their own good! Praise God!


Consumed By The Whirlpool Of Christ's Mighty Red Love,
Harry Lester

[HTannor]

Re: Elderly Queer Beater Johnny Joe Thomas Needs Your Prayers

Amen, Brother Harry.

It's such a pity that poor young lad will be judged in a courtroom so unlike mine. I fear for his future.

My prayers are with him.

[PetitionLady]

Re: Elderly Queer Beater Johnny Joe Thomas Needs Your Prayers

Amen, Brother Harry.

It's such a pity that poor young lad will be judged in a courtroom so unlike mine. I fear for his future.

My prayers are with him.

Judge HTannor, is there time to consider a change of venue?

[Youth Minister Harry]

Re: Elderly Queer Beater Johnny Joe Thomas Needs Your Prayers

Amen, Brother Harry.

It's such a pity that poor young lad will be judged in a courtroom so unlike mine. I fear for his future.

My prayers are with him.

Thank you so tenderly, Your Honor. As you know, we've been working closely with Pastor Ezekiel's team to see about getting a change of venue to your court, but they are just so busy with all the wonderful overseas missionary work Pastor Ezekiel's been doing lately.

I was also thinking of slipping Johnny Joe a handsome package, but I'm not sure I could get it up unto him. Do you know of anyone who might be able to slip the boy a nice prison fruitcake or maybe a pound-cake when no one is looking? I'm not even sure if he would willingly take delivery of such a love offering, but I think we all know he really needs it right about now.

Rather than see the bad in men...

See Men In The Blood Of Christ,
Harry Lester

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Elderly Queer Beater Johnny Joe Thomas Needs Your Prayers

I'm a bit curious about the nature of their relationship. The article says Thomas was executor of the homo's will.

Could Mr. Thomas be a recent ex-Gay?

[Youth Minister Harry]

Re: Elderly Queer Beater Johnny Joe Thomas Needs Your Prayers

I'm a bit curious about the nature of their relationship. The article says Thomas was executor of the homo's will.

Could Mr. Thomas be a recent ex-Gay?

That's certainly possible, Rev. Rodimer. It's also possible he was just a helpful Christian who liked to assist elderly people, until one day this nasty old quervert tried to take advantage of his good nature and youthful, firm, toned physique. He may have tried to arouse him by whispering gently to him as the boy brought him soup. Then, he might have accidentally spilled a little on himself, knowing that the boy would immediately and vigorously towel his warm wet lap off in a completely innocent and caring way. Then the man might mention to the boy how he's ever so grateful for the attention, and that he would do absolutely anything to repay the boy for his hospitality. And he might then show that his teeth are removable for easy access. And I suppose just as the seduced boy was undressing down to his Calvin Klein Low Cut Boxer Briefs, and as the man began to smell the young boy's cologne... it happened. The boy's Christian Faith broke the bonds of Satan, and the boy suddenly realized that he had been bamboozled by a demon-possessed queer. He did what he had to do to survive. Thank God he made it out of there unharmed! Praise Jesus!

Anointed In The Fresh Blood Of Little Baby Jesus,
Harry Lester