Please pray for my Salvation

[JennyD]

Re: Please pray for my Salvation

Hmmm...the thought of marrying the family camel sounds kind of appealing...and kinky. Hey, better to lay with the family camel than the family goat, I always say.

Ok, why don't you let us know how that works out for you?


Please, no photographs.

[sinner]

Re: Please pray for my Salvation

Hmmm...the thought of marrying the family camel sounds kind of appealing...and kinky. Hey, better to lay with the family camel than the family goat, I always say.

___________________________



"They scream, "First Amendment." Of course, the First Amendment, as you and I both know, is a restriction on Congress.... So it really doesn't have anything to do with what you say or what I say, one way or the other." -- Pat Robertson, The 700 Club television program, December 10, 1990

[Roberta]

Re: Please pray for my Salvation

My dear Miss S -

There is certainly hope for you!

First, you must remember the commandment to honor your father and mother. HONOR does not mean OBEY, but rather RESPECT. You must OBEY God.

Until such time as you are Saved™, I suggest you study God's Word online, in secret. You may use the Bible in a Year section of this very forum to help you!

Now, I recommend that when you have studied the Bible, and the United States Constitution, that you follow the example Moses set when bringing the Jews out of captivity in Egypt. As God commanded in Exodus 3:22,


You see, Miss S, when escaping those who hate Jesus, it's quite all right to "borrow" gold and silver and other valuable items from your oppressors! GOD SAYS SO! In this way, you can fund your trip first to Europe, where you can meet up with any of our handful of European brethren and sistern. They can help you to complete your application for political asylum, either there or in the US.

If you are judicious in your spending and persuasive in your "borrowing", you may even have sufficient resources to support yourself for some time, even while tithing regularly to Landover!

I hope this helps you!



Thank you for not exploding.

This is one of Scheherry's sisters-in-allah being readied for her camel defloration. I have heard arab women wail "wii" during this activity. It's called "humping" in araby.

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=7885

[Seth Cochran]

Re: Please pray for my Salvation

I would like to convert to Christianity and save my soul...my father has even stated that he will have our family's camel defile me before allowing me to leave Islam (disgusting, you're father is crazy)....flee Iran and come to the glorious United States of America(it's not as glorious as you think)...sand nigra girl(where do you get these terms?)...

Good luck..

[JennyD]

Re: Please pray for my Salvation

My dear Miss S -

There is certainly hope for you!

First, you must remember the commandment to honor your father and mother. HONOR does not mean OBEY, but rather RESPECT. You must OBEY God.

Until such time as you are Saved(tm), I suggest you study God's Word online, in secret. You may use the Bible in a Year section of this very forum to help you!

Now, I recommend that when you have studied the Bible, and the United States Constitution, that you follow the example Moses set when bringing the Jews out of captivity in Egypt. As God commanded in Exodus 3:22,

But every woman shall borrow of her neighbour, and of her that sojourneth in her house, jewels of silver, and jewels of gold, and raiment: and ye shall put them upon your sons, and upon your daughters; and ye shall spoil the Egyptians.

You see, Miss S, when escaping those who hate Jesus, it's quite all right to "borrow" gold and silver and other valuable items from your oppressors! GOD SAYS SO! In this way, you can fund your trip first to Europe, where you can meet up with any of our handful of European brethren and sistern. They can help you to complete your application for political asylum, either there or in the US.

If you are judicious in your spending and persuasive in your "borrowing", you may even have sufficient resources to support yourself for some time, even while tithing regularly to Landover!

I hope this helps you!



Thank you for not exploding.

[Scheherazade]

Hello all, I am a teenage Muslim girl living in Tehran, Iran.

I am currently in a personal crisis, as I would like to convert to Christianity and save my soul, but my family refuses to allow me to do so.

I have receive numerous threats, and my father has even stated that he will have our family's camel defile me before allowing me to leave Islam.

I hope to secretly flee Iran and come to the glorious United States of America, where I may be able to escape my status as a sand nigra girl and live a fulfilling Christian life.

Is there any hope for me, or am I doomed to marry my family's camel and lose my virginity to it, as opposed to a loving Christian man?