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  • Pray for our pets









    If Jesus returns tonight, who will feed your pets tomorrow?



    What is JesusPets?

    Who is going to care for your pets after you are raptured into heaven?

    Many Christians believe that animals do not go to heaven. So when Jesus comes back and you return with him to heaven, will there be somebody to take care of your dog or cat?

    If you have a non-Christian family member, they might take care of your pet, but if not, have you made any plans? Imagine being taken to streets of gold while your dog starves to death walking around in his own feces trapped in your small house or partment, subject to fire and earthquakes or even being eaten by heathens searching for any remaining morsel of food. Do you want that to happen?

    With the imminent collapse of the global economy and rampant godlessness, even the community shelters will not have the resources to care for your poor, hungry animals. So you need to make preparations.

    That’s what JesusPets is for. We are assembling a community of heathen pet-lovers to care for pets that are “left-behind.” We are coordinating with feed mills and kennels in preparation for your post-apocalyptic pet care needs.


  • #2
    Re: Pray for our pets

    Now why would I want to spend my parishoner's money on some wetback feeding my dogs after I've been Raptured?

    #1) If they're fat then the unsaved scum left behind will probably just eat them. Especially the japs.

    #2) They're just dumb animals, so who cares? Jesus gave us dominion over them in the book of Genesis. No need to get all emotional about them.

    What a waste of money. I'll bet some joo thought it up to make a few shiny coins.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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    • #3
      Re: Pray for our pets

      Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
      Now why would I want to spend my parishoner's money on some wetback feeding my dogs after I've been Raptured?

      #1) If they're fat then the unsaved scum left behind will probably just eat them. Especially the japs.

      #2) They're just dumb animals, so who cares? Jesus gave us dominion over them in the book of Genesis. No need to get all emotional about them.

      What a waste of money. I'll bet some joo thought it up to make a few shiny coins.
      Pastor, please see the potential in here for our Lord. Perhaps, we True Christians can pray to the Good Lord to smite all of them spics, gooks, colored nigros and Democrats so that we True Christians can take over, run the operation in True Christian fashion and offer the profits to Our Lord Jeesus Chrshit. If the Good Lord in all His wisdom fails to hear our prayer (not that such thing has ever happened, of course!), we can eliminate them all and take over the operations so that even heathen pets can be saved thru the Grace and Mercy of Our Lord. But for this magnificent plan to work, we need your blessing. What say yee?

      ___________________________
      Last edited by Pastor Ezekiel; 02-07-2008, 01:59 PM. Reason: blasphemy removed

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      • #4
        Re: Pray for our pets

        I have my cat's will set up to send them to China when I am caught up in a twinkling of and eye. A good lovin' family will take care of them. We all know that communist country will still stand after the rapture.

        If the Lord leads you to it, he will get you through it.

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        • #5
          Re: Pray for our pets

          I'm intrested, I would like to have someone to take care of my 2 cats. Sodom and Gommorah. Could you arrange something for me?
          Last edited by Pastor Ezekiel; 02-08-2008, 05:43 AM. Reason: spelling fixed
          When our enemies strike us, we must not retaliate; we must even turn the other cheek. And we must forigve -- not seven times, but seventy times seven.

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          • #6
            Re: Pray for our pets

            Originally posted by handofgod View Post
            I'm intrested, I would like to have someone to take care of my 2 cats. Jesus and Mozes. Could you arrange something for me?
            Moses. Do you know the 10 commandments? Why don't you ask Noah. It has to be a special breed though. He specializes in that sorta thing.

            If the Lord leads you to it, he will get you through it.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Pray for our pets

              I have a fine and gentle dog. He keeps most of the commandments better than a Presbyterian (certainly better than a Catholic!), and does an especially good job of being humble, loving all mankind, and maintaining a cheerful and Godly disposition.

              I have of course cared well for this beast. His sores are doctored, his sorrows comforted, his boredom relieved, his loneliness dissolved in playful friendship.

              As I care for my dog, so does God care for mankind. When we are afflicted with cancer, does He not heal us? And when evil assaults us, does He not respond to our prayers and turn the tornado, the murderer, and the vile politician aside from our path?

              Does He not care for mankind as carefully as we humans care for our pets? Not to mention our children?

              And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty. 2 Corinthians 6:18


              So we may learn from our gentle companion animals: as we treasure their goodness and care for their ills, so the Lord treasures our goodness and cares for our ills.

              Does He not?

              ~~ OEJ

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              • #8
                Re: Pray for our pets

                Originally posted by One-eyed Jack View Post
                I have a fine and gentle dog. He keeps most of the commandments better than a Presbyterian (certainly better than a Catholic!), and does an especially good job of being humble, loving all mankind, and maintaining a cheerful and Godly disposition.

                I have of course cared well for this beast. His sores are doctored, his sorrows comforted, his boredom relieved, his loneliness dissolved in playful friendship.

                As I care for my dog, so does God care for mankind. When we are afflicted with cancer, does He not heal us? And when evil assaults us, does He not respond to our prayers and turn the tornado, the murderer, and the vile politician aside from our path?

                Does He not care for mankind as carefully as we humans care for our pets? Not to mention our children?

                And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty. 2 Corinthians 6:18


                So we may learn from our gentle companion animals: as we treasure their goodness and care for their ills, so the Lord treasures our goodness and cares for our ills.

                Does He not?

                ~~ OEJ
                Praise Jesus! I used to have a dog, but one day I decided it would be a good idea to demonstrate my love for it the way God demonstrated His Love for Job. And now I'm not allowed to keep pets anymore.
                O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

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