Prayer for my lost wallet

[Jedediah]

Dear LORD,

I lift up my eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the LORD, who made Heaven and Earth. Let not my heart be troubled. I trust in You, I seek your face; let me be an instrument of Your Will on Earth. I need Your help. Without You I am nothing.

I lost my wallet this afternoon. Please help me find it.

Help me Jesus Christ. You are my only hope.

God, you are so great. I thank you for everything - not least of which is helping me overcome my innate worthlessness and become a full and complete person in Christ JESUS. In His Name.

Amen.

[JustGotSaved]

Re: Prayer for my lost wallet

And God, while you're at it, please see to it that Kansas unIversity has a better basketball year this year too please.

And also, please find his wallet and save the starving people in nigrastand, africa.

In any order You see fit.

Amen

Your most humble obedient servant who's at your warm Holy feet forever,

Jgs

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Prayer for my lost wallet

Amen!

And if you could see to it, LORD, my daughter needs a change of heart. When she sees I am right and stops fighting me and rebelling, her life will be much more pleasant.
You know the details, Jesus.

In Jesus Name I pray.

[Levi Jones]

Re: Prayer for my lost wallet

Lord,

You know all and see everything. Anything is possible through Christ. If I say to this mountain, "move" it will run into the sea. I humbly ask You, Oh LORD! Please let the Dallas Cowboys win the Superbowl.

In the name of Christ Jesus.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Prayer for my lost wallet

+1 on the wallet Lord, Brother Jed was all tore up about it at church today.

Also, while you're at it, I've got an old Craftsmen T50 staple gun, and nobody carries staples that fit it (the Arrow Brand ones are too narrow). So if you have the time, could you make the slot where the staples go in my stapler narrower to fit the Arrow staples? That would be great Lord, because I don't want to have to spend another $18.00 to buy a new Arrow stapler at The Home depot, that seems like a waste of money, since there's nothing wrong with the Craftsman gun.

[Mrs. Naomi Portway]

Re: Prayer for my lost wallet

Aaron wanted me to post here and pray for Jesus to fix the stapler too, since it's the least I could do if I cared about him at all, especially since he pays all the bills and all I do is fart and barf all the time and I still can't seem to scramble his eggs right, and how complicated is that after all, it's just eggs.

So please Jesus, fix Aaron's stapler. I pray with all my heart. Amen.

YIC

Mrs. Aaron Portway

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Prayer for my lost wallet

Aaron wanted me to post here and pray for Jesus to fix the stapler too, since it's the least I could do if I cared about him at all, especially since he pays all the bills and all I do is fart and barf all the time and I still can't seem to scramble his eggs right, and how complicated is that after all, it's just eggs.

So please Jesus, fix Aaron's stapler. I pray with all my heart. Amen.

YIC

Mrs. Aaron Portway

While your at it pray that God fixes your incessent whining

YIC

[James Hutchins]

Re: Prayer for my lost wallet

Brother Portway, I have instructed all my help to spend the late afternoon (well evening) praying for your staple gun in silence in their chicken coop bunk house.
I will have my boys do a through search for your wallet, Brother Jedediah. The coons and wetbacks are pretty good at hiding things in their rectums but then again, my boys know where to look.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Prayer for my lost wallet

Dear LORD,

I lift up my eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the LORD, who made Heaven and Earth. Let not my heart be troubled. I trust in You, I seek your face; let me be an instrument of Your Will on Earth. I need Your help. Without You I am nothing.

I lost my wallet this afternoon. Please help me find it.

Help me Jesus Christ. You are my only hope.

God, you are so great. I thank you for everything - not least of which is helping me overcome my innate worthlessness and become a full and complete person in Christ JESUS. In His Name.

Amen.

Does it look like this, Brother?

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Prayer for my lost wallet

Please pray that all this heat and humidity will go away so I can have better hair days.

I was embarrassed at Services this weekend because my hair was so limp.

[Isabel G]

Re: Prayer for my lost wallet

As Christians, we need to remember that we MUST offer our bodies up to God as sacrifices acceptable to Him. This means we have to fully give ourselves to Him, not holding anything for ourselves, or else He won't answer our prayers.

I will pray for all of you. And since I don't abuse my vagina with dildos anymore and offer my body only to the LORD, I'm sure he'll answer my prayers.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Prayer for my lost wallet

Amazing how a thread mentioning "wallet" attracts so many women. A clear sign women are not to be trusted with money.

Ephesians 5:22-24 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.