[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Please Pray For My Butt

And I'm the one who gets an infraction!

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Please Pray For My Butt

Is it just me or does this whole thread seem like dear Ahimaaz might be getting a little kick out of a whole bunch of people visualizing his rear and praying?

No need to visualize any longer; I have reinstated the Photo

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Please Pray For My Butt

Is it just me or does this whole thread seem like dear Ahimaaz might be getting a little kick out of a whole bunch of people visualizing his rear and praying?

[eliot mayfield]

Re: Please Pray For My Butt

Unfortuantely, he is my great-great-great grandfather. But he didn't start out as a Satanist exactly. The whole Mormon thing was initially a sick joke that he and my great-great-great uncle were playing on the town drunk, pretending that some junked brass plates were really a message from God. It kind of snowballed out of control.

I'm actually worried, because one of those Mormon crazies has probably been "baptized" in my name now, so I need to be extra careful not to sin to ensure my place in Heaven.

PS Please don't bring up the whole Mormon connection with my (distant) cousin, Pastor Deacon Fred. He does NOT like to talk about it, and I'm still on his sh*t list right now over this whole tattoo episode.

Uh oh! Does that tenth generation thing come into play in this instance?

[Ahimaaz Smith]

Re: Please Pray For My Butt

So you mean you're not related to Joseph Smith, this wretched mason and satanist?

Unfortuantely, he is my great-great-great grandfather. But he didn't start out as a Satanist exactly. The whole Mormon thing was initially a sick joke that he and my great-great-great uncle were playing on the town drunk, pretending that some junked brass plates were really a message from God. It kind of snowballed out of control.

I'm actually worried, because one of those Mormon crazies has probably been "baptized" in my name now, so I need to be extra careful not to sin to ensure my place in Heaven.

PS Please don't bring up the whole Mormon connection with my (distant) cousin, Pastor Deacon Fred. He does NOT like to talk about it, and I'm still on his sh*t list right now over this whole tattoo episode.

[Liberation Theologia]

Re: Please Pray For My Butt

Smith is a modernization of the family name of Enoch Smithe, one of my ancestors and the founder of Landover Baptist Church. There are one or two other notables around the world bearing this proud name, including our own Pastor Deacon Fred Smith, who is a distant cousin of mine.

So you mean you're not related to Joseph Smith, this wretched mason and satanist ? I must say I'm relieved. I also hope your first name is a pseudonym, and that you're not a real Joo, only a Joo-watcher.

I am reminded of the hundred or so joos who were tattooed in Concentration Camps during WWII – whatever else they may stand accused, it cannot be of tattooing, as they did not do it, it was done unto them.

Ezekiel is right to remind us of this tragedy. Those few dozen joos really had no choice in getting these tatoos. This clearly qualifies as inhumane treatment at the hands of pagan unbelievers. Even to the vilest of renegades (they killed him !!!! Can YOU forget that ?) and exploiters of the people, Death can be given in a humane way. No need to desacrate what was God's work after all...

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Please Pray For My Butt

[...]Jesus and I both agree that it is very clear that the sinner, Ahimaaz Smith, and those like him are OF THE DEVIL!!!! Seriously, what kind of name is Ahimaaz? Sounds like an islamofascist to me.

Allowing such a godless man to parade around with the title of True Christian is an offense to Christ Himself.

I think you need to look here.

That you would, despite any inebriation, allow printing on skin, unless you were thinking of Le:19:28: Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD. Clearly in your tired and emotional state, having given exhortations to the unsaved, you were in no state to print anything. This was thus, done unto you and is the work of others. You are a martyr.

I am reminded of the hundred or so joos who were tattooed in Concentration Camps during WWII – whatever else they may stand accused, it cannot be of tattooing, as they did not do it, it was done unto them.

[JawOfAnAss]

Re: Please Pray For My Butt

Why, I thank your Brother Jaw, there is much to consider in what you say.

I believe that the healing is going well--the tattoo is no longer fading, but the rest of my buttocks are turning bluer by the day, so the tattoo is much less noticable than it had been last week. The Lord truly does work in mysterious ways.

Blue like the sky where we will meet Jesus. The SIGN may never fade, just like your steadfast faith. Keep witnessing to the debauched pagans, and more signs will follow

(Ass-demons my ass, and asses are my business)

Your Friend,
Jaw

[Ahimaaz Smith]

Re: Please Pray For My Butt

I see it differently.
I believe that Brother Ahimaaz has judged himself wrongly.

Why, I thank your Brother Jaw, there is much to consider in what you say.

I believe that the healing is going well--the tattoo is no longer fading, but the rest of my buttocks are turning bluer by the day, so the tattoo is much less noticable than it had been last week. The Lord truly does work in mysterious ways.

I normally wouldn't respond to anything that idiot vidal of the warwankers says (I've got him on ignore, so I don't even know what he said unless someone quotes him). However, it is incumbent upon me to set the record straight on Biblical matters. As the Apostle Paul said in 1 Corinthians 9:6, Woe onto me if I preach not the Gospel!

Ahimaaz was a high priest of Israel (see 1 Chronicles 6) who was the fastest running Jew ever. He spied on the Jews by hiding in baskets and in the homes of married women, and brought the good news of the defeat of Absalom to King David (see 2 Samuel 15, 17, and 18). His name means "irascible" in Hebrew. All in all, irascible, keeping a watch on the Jews, deligting in bringing the good news--it's a name that suits me. Of course, the retard vaypor of the woodpeckers wouldn't know this, because he has never bothered to crack open a Bible before he criticizes True Christians(TM).

Smith is a modernization of the family name of Enoch Smithe, one of my ancestors and the founder of Landover Baptist Church. There are one or two other notables around the world bearing this proud name, including our own Pastor Deacon Fred Smith, who is a distant cousin of mine.

[JawOfAnAss]

Re: Please Pray For My Butt

As a True Christian I feel it is my duty to point out the wolf in black sheep's clothing within the flock.



That Smith loser has clearly ..........Can he really be considered a TRUE Christian?
Jesus and I both agree that it is very clear that the ........, Ahimaaz Smith, and those like him are ...........Seriously, what kind of name is Ahimaaz? Sounds like an islamofascist to me.

Allowing such a ........ man to parade around with the title of True Christian is an offense to Christ Himself.

Not so fast mere "member".

I see it differently.
I believe that Brother Ahimaaz has judged himself wrongly.
This is not a tatoo but a SIGN. This appearance of the likeness of a man such as Pastor Deacon Fred is a blessing resulting from Brother Ahimaaz's ministering to the pagans. An ass demon would have placed a goat head, tribal tatoo, skull, or Marilyn Manson likeness.
Many times I have prayed over the evening meal and GLORY, a likeness of righteous brothers and sisters will appear right in the food(especially Pizza)
Ending up naked is nothing new from a prophet.
Brother Ahijaaz was probably drunk in the Spirit from witnessing.

Isa 20:2,3
At the same time spake the LORD by Isaiah the son of Amoz, saying, Go and loose the sackcloth from off thy loins, and put off thy shoe from thy foot. And he did so, walking naked and barefoot.And the LORD said, Like as my servant Isaiah hath walked naked and barefoot three years for a sign and wonder upon Egypt and upon Ethiopia

Acts 2:12-17
And they were all amazed, and were in doubt, saying one to another, What meaneth this?
Others mocking said, These men are full of new wine.
But Peter, standing up with the eleven, lifted up his voice, and said unto them, Ye men of Judaea, and all ye that dwell at Jerusalem, be this known unto you, and hearken to my words:
For these are not drunken, as ye suppose, seeing it is but the third hour of the day.
But this is that which was spoken by the prophet Joel;
And it shall come to pass in the last days, saith God,I will pour out of my Spirit upon all flesh: and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams:

[SUV]

Re: Please Pray For My Butt

I humbly suggest you flatter our pastors by dedicating the entire working surface of your fairly expansive posterior to a colorful – yet respectful – tableaux depicting the Godly visages of Landover's spiritual leaders: Pastor Deacon Fred (OK, you’ve got him), Pastor Harry Hardwick, Pastor Al E. Pistle and Pastor Billy-Reuben.

Why, what a wonderful idea, Brother Larry Lee!

But if he gets one of Hitoshi we're gonna know for sure that something funny is going on here......

[Vayhr of the Warhost]

Re: Please Pray For My Butt

Brother Smith, yours is a dire situation indeed. I'm afraid that your getting this tattoo, even though it is of the face of our beloved Pastor Deacon Fred, is the work of DEMONS--more specifically, ASS DEMONS, the same entities responsible for Pastor Ezekiel's temporary fall from grace:

So we all agree. Ahimaaz is infected with ASS DEMONS.

Demons of the rectum are a sure sign of homosexuality!!!

[Vayhr of the Warhost]

Re: Please Pray For My Butt

As a True Christian I feel it is my duty to point out the wolf in black sheep's clothing within the flock.

Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard.
Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD.

That Smith loser has clearly SINNED!!!! Can he really be considered a TRUE Christian? Let us not forget that this man is faggot. How do we not know that he didn't get the tattoo in order that his fellow queer friends could take turns giving Pastor Fred mock fellatio via Smith's ready and willing rear end?

Whosoever committeth sin transgresseth also the law: for sin is the transgression of the law.
And ye know that He was manifested to take away our sins; and in Him is no sin.
Whosoever abideth in Him sinneth not: whosoever sinneth hath not seen Him, neither known Him.
Little children, let no man deceive you: he that doeth righteousness is righteous, even as He is righteous.
He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that He might destroy the works of the devil.
Whosoever is born of God doth NOT commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God.

Jesus and I both agree that it is very clear that the sinner, Ahimaaz Smith, and those like him are OF THE DEVIL!!!! Seriously, what kind of name is Ahimaaz? Sounds like an islamofascist to me.

Allowing such a godless man to parade around with the title of True Christian is an offense to Christ Himself.

[Miss Maisie]

Re: Please Pray For My Butt

Miss Maisie let me say that you are the most genteel Southern Belle I have ever encountered. You are always supportive of everyone, at least those who are True Christians.

Why thankyou, honey!
My Momma and Daddy believe that a daughter of the South should be a proper daughter of the south, and raised me that way, and I believe so to. It's sad that there ain't so many as there used to be.

[Justina Thyme]

Re: Please Pray For My Butt

Nephew Zebulun brought round the photo. I feel it has artistic merit.

I must admit that in and of itself it is a very good likeness of our beloved Pastor Deacon Fred. It's almost--almost--a shame that it is primarily the work of DEMONS of the ASS variety and so must be banished and vanished, as it were. And so my prayerful efforts shall continue, as, I hope, will yours, Brother Ahimaaz.