Pray that my prodigal son returns

[iamunce]

My son was growing true and straight into a man of the Good Book (King James version) until recently, when he fell in with evil companions. His once manly hair has grown long and wild, a goatish beard now obscures his once angelic visage and his eyebrows have grown together in a devilish unibrow. Loose women in diaphanous gowns hang on his arm (often several at a time). His male fellows cast dark looks about them, and they all adorn themselves with tattooed marks of Satan. Although I have no proof as yet, I fear drink, drugs and bestial carnality are their daily fare. I once even overheard terrifying references to Christopher Hitchens and George Carlin in a hastily terminated phone call between my son and one of these heartless seducers.
Brethren in Christ, I beg you to pray with me – a poor, friendless widow-woman of faultless public virtue – to help him find his way back to the true path – and Jesus, his one true friend.

Pray for him.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Pray that my prodigal son returns

Why has't the boy's Godly father stepped in and given him the beating he so richly deserves? Doesn't he care about following God's Word?

The Bible says to beat your children hard and often, and don't worry about hurting them. You may break a few bones and cause some brain damage, but it isn't going to kill them. And even if they do die, they'll be better off. They'll thank you in heaven for beating the hell out of them.

Proverbs 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. 23:14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

[Ebenezer Wright]

Re: Pray that my prodigal son returns

My friend it states you are from Ireland. Are you going to tell me you have not had your fare share of alcohol for the evening?

[Billybob Sunday]

Re: Pray that my prodigal son returns

Why has't the boy's Godly father stepped in and given him the beating he so richly deserves? Doesn't he care about following God's Word?

The Bible says to beat your children hard and often, and don't worry about hurting them. You may break a few bones and cause some brain damage, but it isn't going to kill them. And even if they do die, they'll be better off. They'll thank you in heaven for beating the hell out of them.

Proverbs 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. 23:14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

I pray some good beatings will correct your hell-bound sinner of a son. If not, God instructs us to do this, from Deuteronomy:

21:18 If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: 21:19 Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; 21:20 And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard.
21:21 And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.

[Talitha]

Re: Pray that my prodigal son returns

My son was growing true and straight into a man of the Good Book (King James version) until recently, when he fell in with evil companions. His once manly hair has grown long and wild, a goatish beard now obscures his once angelic visage and his eyebrows have grown together in a devilish unibrow. Loose women in diaphanous gowns hang on his arm (often several at a time). His male fellows cast dark looks about them, and they all adorn themselves with tattooed marks of Satan. Although I have no proof as yet, I fear drink, drugs and bestial carnality are their daily fare. I once even overheard terrifying references to Christopher Hitchens and George Carlin in a hastily terminated phone call between my son and one of these heartless seducers.
Brethren in Christ, I beg you to pray with me – a poor, friendless widow-woman of faultless public virtue – to help him find his way back to the true path – and Jesus, his one true friend.

Pray for him.

My dear, I have been in a very similar situation as yourself regarding my Daughter.
She found herself led astray by Godless Goth's who forced her to live in that Hell-hole called Australia.
Praise Jesus my own security people, helped by Pastor Bobby-Joe managed to shoot the bastards persuade the Goth's to release her. Unfortunately she was seriously injured in the crossfire release.
Anyway, Jesus decided to let her live but as a punishment left her with a mental age of a 6 year old. She dribbles and stuff so I mainly keep her in the Cellar where I don't have to see her she can't harm herself.

I suggest that you Pray hard to Jesus (as I shall do for you) and give a Loving Donation to your favorite Church to show our Savior that you care about his suffering too.
I'll talk to Bobby-Joe and see if there is anything we can do to beat it out of him help him see reason.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Pray that my prodigal son returns

My son was growing true and straight into a man of the Good Book (King James version) until recently, when he fell in with evil companions. His once manly hair has grown long and wild, a goatish beard now obscures his once angelic visage and his eyebrows have grown together in a devilish unibrow. Loose women in diaphanous gowns hang on his arm (often several at a time). His male fellows cast dark looks about them, and they all adorn themselves with tattooed marks of Satan. Although I have no proof as yet, I fear drink, drugs and bestial carnality are their daily fare. I once even overheard terrifying references to Christopher Hitchens and George Carlin in a hastily terminated phone call between my son and one of these heartless seducers.
Brethren in Christ, I beg you to pray with me – a poor, friendless widow-woman of faultless public virtue – to help him find his way back to the true path – and Jesus, his one true friend.

Pray for him.

If his eyebrows have grown together in a devilish unibrow, it sounds like he might've fallen in with the J*h*v*h's W*tn*ss*s crowd. I shall pray for him, but it really sounds like the kindest thing to do at this point might just be to have him humanely put down.

[commie!commie!commie!]

Re: Pray that my prodigal son returns

My friend it states you are from Ireland. Are you going to tell me you have not had your fare share of alcohol for the evening?

Stereotyping

[Walter Brimstone]

Re: Pray that my prodigal son returns

How do you figure? Are the Irish not known for their booze and being Catlick?

In Jesus,

Walter Brimstone

Stereotyping

[commie!commie!commie!]

Re: Pray that my prodigal son returns

How do you figure? Are the Irish not known for their booze and being Catlick?

In Jesus,

Walter Brimstone

So?
Stereotyping is still wrong.

[Walter Brimstone]

Re: Pray that my prodigal son returns

Wrong again, chimp! It's called telling the truth (which you know nothing about!)

In Jesus,

Walter Brimstone (That's Mr. Brimstone to you!)

So?
Stereotyping is still wrong.

[commie!commie!commie!]

Re: Pray that my prodigal son returns

Wrong again, chimp! It's called telling the truth (which you know nothing about!)

In Jesus,

Walter Brimstone (That's Mr. Brimstone to you!)

I know more about the truth than you ever will, as you still believe in George Bush's evil lies.

[Walter Brimstone]

Re: Pray that my prodigal son returns

I know more about the truth than you ever will, as you still believe in George Bush's evil lies.

Lies? What are you babbling about, heathen? President Bush has done his best to try to make the world a better place. You people are the ones who pervert what is being said about Godly President Bush. You should thank Jesus that President Bush is still President. If it were up to someone like you, the world would be in the most ghastly condition, as if it wasn't already!

In Jesus,

Walter Brimstone

[commie!commie!commie!]

Re: Pray that my prodigal son returns

Lies? What are you babbling about, heathen? President Bush has done his best to try to make the world a better place. You people are the ones who pervert what is being said about Godly President Bush. You should thank Jesus that President Bush is still President. If it were up to someone like you, the world would be in the most ghastly condition, as if it wasn't already!

In Jesus,

Walter Brimstone

George Bush is corrupt.
His government is corrupt.
The war he's embarked upon is corrupt.
His ideas are corrupt.
Everything about him is corrupt.

[Walter Brimstone]

Re: Pray that my prodigal son returns

George Bush is corrupt.
His government is corrupt.
The war he's embarked upon is corrupt.
His ideas are corrupt.
Everything about him is corrupt.

Are you saying Jesus is corrupt? Is that what you are driving at? For your information, this is True Christianity(tm) vs. satan. Friend, there are people wanting to kill us because of our beliefs. You condone that, do you not? This war is about defending what we believe in. So where is the corruption? You make Jesus sick, heathen!

In Jesus,

Walter Brimstone

[commie!commie!commie!]

Re: Pray that my prodigal son returns

Are you saying Jesus is corrupt? Is that what you are driving at? For your information, this is True Christianity™ vs. satan. Friend, there are people wanting to kill us because of our beliefs. You condone that, do you not? This war is about defending what we believe in. So where is the corruption? You make Jesus sick, heathen!

In Jesus,

Walter Brimstone

I never condone killing no matter how evil a person is.
Even if they are as evil as you.
Bush and his government are corrupt, you know that and you like it.