[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: THE TRUTH IS OUT - THE FEMALE ORGASM PROVEN TO BE MYTH !!!

I can't believe a man of your age thinks women fake orgasms, we have the same experience you do, but ours is much more awesome! Now teach yourself to give your wife one!

I am heartbroken at the remembrance, but just 10 years ago this Thanksgiving eve, Mrs. Pistle fell out of the apple tree into a shredder while picking apples for my Thanksgiving pies. She usually made about seven of them because we had darkie servants at the time and they would always steal two or three.

I rebuke you in JESUS' NAME for even suggesting that Dear Mrs. Pistle would ever have been a sweaty, grunting, wiggling slut like most PAGAN women nowdays!

I would give you some more infraction points, but I must go out and pray over poor Mrs. Pistle's grave. Since women probably have no souls, she is likely in HELL right now, but I am sure she gets the respect she deserves and has the old servants bringing her mint juleps by the poolside.

I only hope that when JESUS calls me Home to be His strong Right Hand in smiting heathens, that I can ask Him to bring Mrs. Pistle out of torment and back to me in Heaven. I sure miss those pies.

[Bummer]

Re: THE TRUTH IS OUT - THE FEMALE ORGASM PROVEN TO BE MYTH !!!

I got this from Bobby-Joe:

Dear Bunion,

You have received an infraction at The Landover Baptist Church Forums.

Reason: Suggesting an obscene act to a senior pastor
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Paster Pistol is a kind and forgiving man but that doesn't mean the rest of us will let you take advantage of him. Keep your disgusting suggestions that he give his wife "an orgasm" to yourself and stop posting obscenities.
-------

This infraction is worth 50 point(s) and may result in restricted access until it expires. Serious infractions will never expire.

Original Post:
http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?p=262464
Quote:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
Son, if you are suggesting that if a woman thinks she is having an imaginary orgasm, and all of the blood runs from her head to her nether regions and she passes out and possibly dies from lack of oxygen to the brain, that is probably a reasonable assumption. Women tend to imagine a lot of things that aren't real, and this could be a simple manifestation of one of them.

There is probably a female hormone that turns off oxygen to the brain. God knows enough women have it. Elizabeth Hasselbeck must breathe through her skin. She never stops talking long enough to take a breath, and she has never said anything that made sense. Believe me, this comes straight from Betty Bowers, who knows all of those pop tarts! Praise JESUS that these dumb bimbos fade from the public scene faster than ducks poop.


I can't believe a man of your age thinks women fake orgasms, we have the same experience you do, but ours is much more awesome! Now teach yourself to give your wife one!
All the best,
The Landover Baptist Church Forums
__________________
RHINOS we know who you are!

PALIN 2012!

As a Palin supporter from the beginning Stop Obama from turning this country into a Muslim, Robin Hood, Baby Killing, Socialist state!

I am positively NOT Angry and I am NOT gay!
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Well Bobby-Joe, since you don't believe there is such a thing as a female orgasm, then you can't know if i am suggesting something obscene, since what i am suggesting doesn't even exist in you mind. Right?

[Bummer]

Re: THE TRUTH IS OUT - THE FEMALE ORGASM PROVEN TO BE MYTH !!!

Some people just don't get it. Brother Percy prooved in a very impressive and logically way, that there is no such thing as an "orgasm". My wife also never had one and I'm very glad that she never lied.

YIC,
Pater Doit

Well, I'm a woman, and i had plenty! Don't think you have all the fun as a man. I know you would like to think so, but it's not the truth. Besides, if you don't believe it exists, how come this discussion is going on in this forum, somehow i think all of you very well knows it does exist, this is a way to get out of pleasing your wives. Shame on you!

[Pater Doit]

Re: THE TRUTH IS OUT - THE FEMALE ORGASM PROVEN TO BE MYTH !!!

I can't believe a man of your age thinks women fake orgasms, we have the same experience you do, but ours is much more awesome! Now teach yourself to give your wife one!

Some people just don't get it. Brother Percy prooved in a very impressive and logically way, that there is no such thing as an "orgasm". My wife also never had one and I'm very glad that she never lied.

YIC,
Pater Doit

[Bummer]

Re: THE TRUTH IS OUT - THE FEMALE ORGASM PROVEN TO BE MYTH !!!

Son, if you are suggesting that if a woman thinks she is having an imaginary orgasm, and all of the blood runs from her head to her nether regions and she passes out and possibly dies from lack of oxygen to the brain, that is probably a reasonable assumption. Women tend to imagine a lot of things that aren't real, and this could be a simple manifestation of one of them.

There is probably a female hormone that turns off oxygen to the brain. God knows enough women have it. Elizabeth Hasselbeck must breathe through her skin. She never stops talking long enough to take a breath, and she has never said anything that made sense. Believe me, this comes straight from Betty Bowers, who knows all of those pop tarts! Praise JESUS that these dumb bimbos fade from the public scene faster than ducks poop.

I can't believe a man of your age thinks women fake orgasms, we have the same experience you do, but ours is much more awesome! Now teach yourself to give your wife one!

[Bummer]

Re: THE TRUTH IS OUT - THE FEMALE ORGASM PROVEN TO BE MYTH !!!

First of all, forgive me Jesus, for posting in the Men's forum. Even Though, some folks like Mz. Hellthing think it's OK. Anyway, I made the mistake of googling "female orgasm" because I was trying to figure out what everyone is talking about and ran across the following website. I still don't understand, is there something wrong with my computer??? VERY CURIOUS MOTHER GLENDORA

Well Glendora, it's a demonstration to compare the male orgasm versus the female, we women get much better and longer lasting ones! You should try it!

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: THE TRUTH IS OUT - THE FEMALE ORGASM PROVEN TO BE MYTH !!!

Or perhaps the orgasm is a real thing, but you and your ignorant views can't accept that perhaps your cult is wrong

Son, if you are suggesting that if a woman thinks she is having an imaginary orgasm, and all of the blood runs from her head to her nether regions and she passes out and possibly dies from lack of oxygen to the brain, that is probably a reasonable assumption. Women tend to imagine a lot of things that aren't real, and this could be a simple manifestation of one of them.

There is probably a female hormone that turns off oxygen to the brain. God knows enough women have it. Elizabeth Hasselbeck must breathe through her skin. She never stops talking long enough to take a breath, and she has never said anything that made sense. Believe me, this comes straight from Betty Bowers, who knows all of those pop tarts! Praise JESUS that these dumb bimbos fade from the public scene faster than ducks poop.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: THE TRUTH IS OUT - THE FEMALE ORGASM PROVEN TO BE MYTH !!!

How heroic of you to beat a harmless women.

You must be about 12 years old to harbor such idiocy. Women are the most dangerous creatures on earth. Why do you think God commanded them to shut their yaps and allow Men to subjugate them?

1 Peter 3:1
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands.

[Daniel Bugger]

Re: THE TRUTH IS OUT - THE FEMALE ORGASM PROVEN TO BE MYTH !!!

I am willing to theorize. (1) the drugs wear off and she realizes what she is doing and with whom. (2) The drugs don't wear off and she goes into a coma. (3) She is an epileptic and what you think is an orgasm is a Grand Mal seizure.

Or perhaps the orgasm is a real thing, but you and your ignorant views can't accept that perhaps your cult is wrong

[Daniel Bugger]

Re: THE TRUTH IS OUT - THE FEMALE ORGASM PROVEN TO BE MYTH !!!

I caught my wife reading the "cosmosexual" magazine behind the shed about 10 or so years ago and it had that filthy word right on the cover. She had apparently picked it up at a news-stand on her way home from shopping. I asked her if anyone had seen her buy it and she said only the cashier knew. It shamed me to no end. I took her inside that same shed and beat her with a rubber hose until she couldn't stand up. I burned the magazine and burried the ashes. I had to miss dinner that night because of that woman's insolence. Needless to say, she hasn't bought another one of those news-stand magazines since.

How heroic of you to beat a harmless women.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: THE TRUTH IS OUT - THE FEMALE ORGASM PROVEN TO BE MYTH !!!

I don't even know where to start. I stumbled upon this forum by accident researching why my girlfriend passes out after she has an orgasm.

I am willing to theorize. (1) the drugs wear off and she realizes what she is doing and with whom. (2) The drugs don't wear off and she goes into a coma. (3) She is an epileptic and what you think is an orgasm is a Grand Mal seizure.

[Miss Abigail]

Re: THE TRUTH IS OUT - THE FEMALE ORGASM PROVEN TO BE MYTH !!!

Friends,

At last the truth is out ! The Female Orgasm is nothing but a myth!

Recent studies have revealed that 72% OF WOMEN HAVE FAKED THEIR ORGASMS. Why do they do this? Because there is no such thing as the Female Orgasm!

When women find they are unable to have one of these 'Orgasm' things, they fake it, because they don't want their partner thinking there's something wrong. But the truth is with so many women (72%) admitting to faking theirs, it's clear to me that the female orgasm never existed in the first place.

Why are so many women faking these orgasms? Because the liberal media, peer pressure, women's magazines and sick-ular tee-vee shows tell these women lies! The lies that all women have orgasms! Well, we know that's not the case if 72% of women ADMIT to faking it! And what about the other 28%? How can we be sure they're not lying too? I'd wager a bet they are.

See, when women find they don't have orgasms, they 'pretend' they do. Why?? Because they don't want to feel inadequate. Because they think that other women get them. If these women just talked to each other, then they'd realise that none of them have ever had orgasms, and figured out it was all just a huge bunch of feminist nonsense a long time ago.

More evidence that 'Female Orgasm is nothing but a Myth' to follow....

I have one everytime....multiples in fact

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: THE TRUTH IS OUT - THE FEMALE ORGASM PROVEN TO BE MYTH !!!

Check and mate Zekey?
I'm willing to bet that was MADE by an atheist.

It supports my view a lot more than yours!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: THE TRUTH IS OUT - THE FEMALE ORGASM PROVEN TO BE MYTH !!!

[I]
But you have no proof of THAT...and once more, the bible does not count as proof. If books counted as absolute truth, then you'd have to agree to the existence of Rapunzel, the toothfairy, and the easter bunny, wouldn't you?

Check and mate, VanCellulite!

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: THE TRUTH IS OUT - THE FEMALE ORGASM PROVEN TO BE MYTH !!!

God created everything that is. The Bible most definitely backs me up on this.

But you have no proof of THAT...and once more, the bible does not count as proof. If books counted as absolute truth, then you'd have to agree to the existence of Rapunzel, the toothfairy, and the easter bunny, wouldn't you?

Science is the application of observations. Scientist don't create anything; They just take what's already there and use it. Just because they didn't know something was there until 6000+ years of it sitting right under their noses doesn't make it any less an act of God.

See my above.
There is NO concrete proof that 'god' created ANYthing. There is proof, however, that scientists have. You can sit and watch them create. In person. Can you say the same about your 'god'?

No, God created the chair. You just built it.

The tree was a result of a chain of programmed biological actions. The chair is an end product created FROM the tree.

Do you remember that part where I referenced your posts?old :cool:

Ok, ok, mr wiseass. Enough with that

Well, it is. Males are stronger and therefore superior. We are stronger because we have more muscle. We are smarter because we have more brain matter. It's all very simple logic. Why don't you have your husband explain it to you before your head explodes.

Because he would tend to agree with me on the fact that there is no conclusive proof that females are intellectually inferior to males, though men and women do think differently.
I'm not arguing that males are generally physically stronger, but strength and intellect are often mutually exclusive.

I NEVER!!!

Denial again, I see.

I think the wrong person received that spanking!! If I ever catch you in Freehold or the surrounding area I'm going to pull down your pants, rip off your panties and pound your butt cheeks so hard you won't be able to sit down for days, witch!!!

Oh, behave!
Such naughty talk in the open forums, maybe it's you who's secretly after a spanking.