Tweet
Well, I mean it's the same thing as a beard, only it's between my nether regions, and according to the bible, I make Jesus cry every time I touch myself down there; bringing me to the question of whether or not I should shave down there so that God may better see the appendage he endowed me with. Please reply with any kind of helpful information.
-
-
Re: So I decided to shave my genitals.
Be sure the knife is really, really sharp. God is counting on you to make the right cut.Originally posted by Otaxephon View Post
Matthew 19:12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!! -
-
Re: So I decided to shave my genitals.
Are you a homosexual or French?
Why on Earth would you shave the bountiful bush that GOD has blessed you with to help keep you from seeing your dirty parts?
sigpic
The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
- Proverbs 15:3
CHILDREN'S STORY: TIMMY ON TRIAL
CHRISTIAN ADVICE AND MESSAGES OF HOPE! GOD'S GREATEST HITS!
Comment
-
Re: So I decided to shave my genitals.
Try not to start your sentences with conjunctions or phrases like 'well, I mean'. Did you go to school, boy?Originally posted by Otaxephon View PostComment
-
Re: So I decided to shave my genitals.
Why; is it really that difficult to see?Originally posted by Otaxephon View PostComment
-
Re: So I decided to shave my genitals.
Hey, Calciumoxalate, since God endowed you with it, why do you think He needs to know what it looks like?Originally posted by Otaxephon View Post
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
sigpicComment
-
Re: So I decided to shave my genitals.
Why do you need to shave you're self down there im' sure its' still visible once when we were about to do a big land scaping project for one of the church buildings one of the pastors said he had to check all of us to make sure we werent' blemished or had stones broken or anything else that the Bible says would of kept us from approachign the Lord im' sure if we didnt' have to shave for the pastor we dont' have to shave for JEsus neither.Comment
-
Re: So I decided to shave my genitals.
So, you are a Muslim, yes? Then pluck them out of your arm pits first Hellbound scum!
You are being infracted as soon as possible!
Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon His Messenger.
Dear brother, we commend your eagerness to become well acquainted with Islam and its teachings, which is the way Allah has chosen for the welfare of His servants.
First of all, we would like to stress the fact that removing unwanted hair from the body is an act of fitrah (natural disposition). Referring to this, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is reported to have said: “The fitrah consists of five things: circumcision, trimming the moustache, cutting the nails, plucking the armpit hairs and shaving the pubic hairs” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim.)
Responding to your question, Sheikh M. S. Al-Munajjid, a prominent Saudi Muslim lecturer and author, states:
"There are reports in the Sunnah of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) which indicate that the pubic hairs should be removed, as it was reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “The fitrah consists of five things, … [one of which is] removing the pubic hairs” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim).
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) also set a time limit of forty days, and the hair should not be left any longer than that because of the hadith of Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him), who said, “He set us a time limit of no more than forty days for trimming the mustache, clipping the nails, plucking the armpit hairs, and shaving the pubic hair” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim).
Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
sigpicComment
-
Re: So I decided to shave my genitals.
Originally posted by Otaxephon View Post
Well, sinner, I don't shave MY private parts; I don't even THINK about my private parts. I suppose you dye your hair, too, an abomination i've addressed here before.http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=9842
You'll be trolling gay bars soon, if you aren't already.Comment
-
Re: So I decided to shave my genitals.
tl;dr all around. I love how you all automatically assume I'm a homosexual/foreigner. Nothing I will ever say/do will reach you people. You're a circle jerk of failure that enforces this belief that you are infoulable and that anyone who thinks the contrary is either gay/trolling/foreign/ect, ect, ect. Come on. This does not make for a healthy inviroment at all.Comment
-
Re: So I decided to shave my genitals
Oh and not only those things, but I'll bet you're a swarthy illiterate sandcrawler in disguise, taxi boy!Originally posted by Otaxephon View Post
1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...
1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...
Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...Comment
-
Re: So I decided to shave my genitals.
I can see by your language that we have rattled satan's cage. Shout GLORY!!Originally posted by Otaxephon View Post
Jesus always wins!
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!Comment
-
Re: So I decided to shave my genitals.
You are an illiterate, moronic, troll-tard teenager who thinks posting filth about shaving yourself on a Christian forum is funny.Originally posted by Otaxephon View Post
It's not funny, it's sad and pointless. And so are you. So why don't you take your tiny, shaven "endowment" and cut it off before you breed. You'd be doing the world the favor of preventing the spread of your obviously inferior bloodline.
Little pukes like you are destroying western society. You think you're so smart and hip, that Jesus is a joke, and that people like us are irrelevant. Well little man, you're the one who is irrelevant. You are a pathetic, Hellbound waste of skin. The fact that God has not sticken you down is only oroof of his infinite mercy.
But stick around, you might learn a thing or two if your unreasonably enormous ego will allow you hear the Truth that we speak here in God's Favorite Forum™!sigpic
Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!
God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!
Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!Comment
-
Re: So I decided to shave my genitals.
You do get around though boy...Originally posted by Otaxephon View Post
Currently viewing
otaxephon's profile:
Last Online:Monday 10:49Member Since:2004-07-13
Sponsorships this user has made:$0.00 ($0.00 in fees)Sponsorships their sites have received:$0.00 ($0.00 in fees)
otaxephon's most recent sites:
Title
Views Votes Rating ? Comrad is dead.3493(4.00)
? HOT PICS ON PROFILE1,3969(3.44)
? RAVE FERRET3,35628(3.39)
otaxephon's highest rated sites:
Title Views Votes Rating ? Comrad is dead.3493(4.00)? HOT PICS ON PROFILE1,3969(3.44)? RAVE FERRET3,35628(3.39)
otaxephon's most recent comments:
Site When Comment ? Comrad is dead.
2006-12-21 12:03:47 otaxephon
It's no fad... at least, if it is, I wasn't aware of it. This is simply the result of boredom and way too much time on my hands.
+0? historytmnd-...
2006-12-14 11:23:15 otaxephon
You are win.
+0? Typing PTKFGS
2006-04-12 12:12:49 otaxephon
The elitist inside me wants to be an assclown and give you a 1 for being "late" on a fad, but the intelligent human being says: "I'm hungry. I want beans."
+0? What is Tiger?!
2005-09-01 11:52:05 otaxephon
I think I have this game is buried somewhere in storage.
+0? New Orleans ...
2005-09-01 11:48:47 otaxephon
IT'S LIEK 9/11 ALL OVRE AGAIN!! !!! SOEMOEN SET US UP THE BOMB
+0
Leviticus 26:27-29
27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.Comment
Comment