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  • Elmer Christianson
    True Christian™
    True Christian™
    • Oct 2006
    • 133
    #1

    RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007

    I meant to open this thread on the first of the month, but was so busy keeping my own wife in-line, I forgot. Anyway, we should get these rules together so they can be passed on to the women ASAP. Elmer C.

    My contribution: Women should never fart in an audible or smellable fashion, nor should they be allowed to comment on a man's occasional relief of gas.
    Investment Portfolio = Canned Goods, Automatic Weapons and a KJV1611 Bible!
    Tags: None
    • Pastor Ezekiel
      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
       
      • Sep 2006
      • 78556
      #2
      Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007

      Women need to shut up. I get tired of hearing that background yapping all the time. A man needs some quiet. Even the Holy Bible says that women should shut their pie hole around men.

      All any woman really needs to say is "Yes sir!" most of the time. And maybe "How do you want your steak done?".

      Thank you Brother E for bringing up this long overdue topic. And I'd like to compliment you on the way you keep Glendora in line.
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        • Rachael Van Helsing
          HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
          • Sep 2006
          • 5131
          #3
          Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007

          So, uh....why would a useless yappity woman be in the men's forum?
          Last edited by Brother Temperance; 01-27-2007, 02:46 PM. Reason: Edited for clarity
          sigpic
          Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

            Comment

            • Pastor Ezekiel
              Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
               
              • Sep 2006
              • 78556
              #4
              Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007

              Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
              So, uh....why would a women's thread be in the men's forum?
              SCAT! SHOO! Stop trying to infect our women with your feminazi lies. Bugger off now.
              Who Will Jesus Damn?

              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                Comment

                • Pastor Isaac Peters
                  Senior Pastor
                  Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
                  Always Biblically correct
                  True Christian™
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 10639
                  #5
                  Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007

                  Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
                  So, uh....why would a useless yappity woman be in the men's forum?
                  Since you are the gold standard for both "useless" and "yappity," perhaps you should tell us why you're here.
                  This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

                  Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance

                  sigpic

                    Comment

                    • SUV
                      True Christian™ Princess
                      The Driving Force behind RA12
                      Have at it, anytime!
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 11027
                      #6
                      Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007

                      Well of course I had to peek in to see what the new Rules are - didn't I? So that I would not become a subject of Scorn, Ridicule & Loathing by not being up-to-Date with them?

                      All Right. I'm leaving now, and all I'm taking with me is that really cute lampshade with the hot-pink fringe on it.

                        Comment

                        • Rev. Dr. Davidson
                          Forum Member
                          Forum Member
                          • Jan 2007
                          • 1439
                          #7
                          Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007

                          Sitting at the foot of the bed, waiting for her True Christian man to come, so she can attend him in getting ready for bed.
                          "If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing. . . . And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the manservant's do."
                          (Leviticus 21:6-7)

                            Comment

                            • Appelfap.
                              Suspected Belgian - treat with caution
                              Forum Member
                              • Jan 2007
                              • 130
                              #8
                              Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007

                              Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                              SCAT! SHOO! Stop trying to infect our women with your feminazi lies. Bugger off now.
                              Sieg Heil.
                              =/=

                                Comment

                                • lilith
                                  Night Hag
                                  • Sep 2006
                                  • 1232
                                  #9
                                  Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007

                                  Originally posted by SUV View Post
                                  Well of course I had to peek in to see what the new Rules are - didn't I? So that I would not become a subject of Scorn, Ridicule & Loathing by not being up-to-Date with them?

                                  All Right. I'm leaving now, and all I'm taking with me is that really cute lampshade with the hot-pink fringe on it.

                                  Which begs the question - what was a hot pink fringed lampshade DOING here in the blokes section?

                                  Is there something you're not telling us,guys?
                                  In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.

                                    Comment

                                    • Tyrone Shoelaces
                                      Unsaved trash
                                      • Jan 2007
                                      • 237
                                      #10
                                      Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007

                                      That's a funny rule. I like the part where they can't say anything if we let loose though.

                                        Comment

                                        • Brother Temperance
                                          Senior Usher
                                          True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
                                          A very nice young man
                                          True Christian™
                                          • Sep 2006
                                          • 15621
                                          #11
                                          Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007

                                          Originally posted by Appelfap. View Post
                                          Sieg Heil.
                                          Gah. We tolerate insolent foreigners posting on our boards, most of whom are probably darkies, and this is what we get from the heathen crimmigrants: Racism. The Baby Jesus weeps at this sort of thing.
                                          O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                                          God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                                            Comment

                                            • TwinkBoy
                                              CASTLES DON'T HAVE PHONES
                                              Forum Member
                                              • Dec 2006
                                              • 212
                                              #12
                                              Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007

                                              Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                                              Women need to shut up. I get tired of hearing that background yapping all the time. A man needs some quiet. Even the Holy Bible says that women should shut their pie hole around men.

                                              All any woman really needs to say is "Yes sir!" most of the time. And maybe "How do you want your steak done?".

                                              Thank you Brother E for bringing up this long overdue topic. And I'd like to compliment you on the way you keep Glendora in line.
                                              I really feel sorry for your wife and all "true Xtian" women. Imagine the lives they are FORCED to live. Imagine having to live under the JACK BOOT of their self righteous, psychotic bible thumping husbands! May they ALL be LIBERATED by the LIGHT!!
                                              "I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania."

                                              "Don't dream it...BE IT!"

                                                Comment

                                                • Jesus is Lord
                                                  Devout seeker of the Truth™
                                                  True Christian™
                                                  • Sep 2006
                                                  • 639
                                                  #13
                                                  Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007

                                                  Originally posted by TwinkBoy View Post
                                                  I really feel sorry for your wife and all "true Xtian" women. Imagine the lives they are FORCED to live.
                                                  Forced? True Christian™ women are not forced to submit, they understand why it is important to submit to their husband.

                                                  Originally posted by TwinkBoy View Post
                                                  Imagine having to live under the JACK BOOT of their self righteous, psychotic bible thumping husbands!
                                                  Jack boots? We're not Nazis here, nor are we dictators. We treat our women with the respect they deserve. We are not the psychotic ones here, you and the ones like you are.

                                                  Originally posted by TwinkBoy View Post
                                                  May they ALL be LIBERATED by the LIGHT!!
                                                  Our women are liberated by the light, the light of our LORD and CREATOR. They are liberated by their submission. What you are suggesting leads to the bondage of feminazism, leazbeanism, and man-hating.
                                                  The Big-Bang: GOD spoke and, BANG, the universe was formed.
                                                  Genesis 1:1 - In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
                                                  sigpic

                                                    Comment

                                                    • Pastor Ezekiel
                                                      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                                                       
                                                      • Sep 2006
                                                      • 78556
                                                      #14
                                                      Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007

                                                      Originally posted by TwinkBoy View Post
                                                      I really feel sorry for your wife and all "true Xtian" women. Imagine the lives they are FORCED to live. Imagine having to live under the JACK BOOT of their self righteous, psychotic bible thumping husbands! May they ALL be LIBERATED by the LIGHT!!
                                                      Don't worry nancy. They enjoy it. Just ask any True Christian™ woman.
                                                      Who Will Jesus Damn?

                                                      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                                                      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                                                      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                                                        Comment

                                                        • Tyrone Shoelaces
                                                          Unsaved trash
                                                          • Jan 2007
                                                          • 237
                                                          #15
                                                          Re: RULES FOR WOMEN - 2007

                                                          Just like I enjoy taking it up the rear from my neighbor Joe.
                                                          Last edited by OnYourKnees; 02-02-2007, 06:56 PM. Reason: Profanity removed.

                                                            Comment

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