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We've gotten the green light for Operation Canadian Liberation!
We've wanted to launch a crusade/special-military-operation against the fake country of so-called "Canada" for a long time, but it's always seemed that somebody was going to stop us. However, Brother Putin has helped us out by proving our worries were unfounded. From one of the West's top experts on Eastern Europe:
We've just found out what would happen:
The media would report that nobody knows which side launched the missiles because "both sides are blaming each other". They would say that it's too soon to tell even if they have half a year of warning time.
Germany would promise to donate a few helmets to Canada, but would change their mind when we accuse them trying to escalate things.
NATO would declare that blowing up skyscrapers is a red line, but when we blow up the CN Tower they'll say that it doesn't count as crossing a red line because the CN Tower isn't technically a skyscraper, and besides the people were killed by falling and being crushed rather than by the missile itself. After all, just because a weapon causes mass destruction doesn't mean it's a weapon of mass destruction.
Europe will say that they can't donate any weapons to Canada because they need to keep weapons for a situation where the USA launches crusades. If someone mentions that that's exactly what's happening, and it doesn't make sense to save for a rainy day on the rainy day itself, they'll decide on a compromise where they light up buildings in Canadian colors and then do nothing.
Some helpful images for our special military operation:
What if, for no reason at all, the United States launched ballistic missiles at Toronto?
...What if they claimed that Canadians and Americans were actually one people, and that Canadians who did not realize this had to be killed? That the U.S.-Canadian border was illegitimate because of Joe Biden's personal views about the past? That English speakers in Canada needed to be united with their true American homeland? That Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau was a Nazi?
...What if they claimed that Canadians and Americans were actually one people, and that Canadians who did not realize this had to be killed? That the U.S.-Canadian border was illegitimate because of Joe Biden's personal views about the past? That English speakers in Canada needed to be united with their true American homeland? That Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau was a Nazi?
We've just found out what would happen:
The media would report that nobody knows which side launched the missiles because "both sides are blaming each other". They would say that it's too soon to tell even if they have half a year of warning time.
Germany would promise to donate a few helmets to Canada, but would change their mind when we accuse them trying to escalate things.
NATO would declare that blowing up skyscrapers is a red line, but when we blow up the CN Tower they'll say that it doesn't count as crossing a red line because the CN Tower isn't technically a skyscraper, and besides the people were killed by falling and being crushed rather than by the missile itself. After all, just because a weapon causes mass destruction doesn't mean it's a weapon of mass destruction.
Europe will say that they can't donate any weapons to Canada because they need to keep weapons for a situation where the USA launches crusades. If someone mentions that that's exactly what's happening, and it doesn't make sense to save for a rainy day on the rainy day itself, they'll decide on a compromise where they light up buildings in Canadian colors and then do nothing.
Some helpful images for our special military operation:
— not for two seconds. Call me old-fashioned, but what we need are more 
citizens and lawmakers — and not a bunch of 
-bound hockey players and lumberjacks ruining things for us. And, as for the Canadian intention to improve border security, well, they are not taking that seriously, despite the insistence of our dear President Trump. I mean, just look at how they are going about building a border wall!
of 
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