[Serenity-Millennium]

Re: Cruising; Satan’s Joyride to Hell

But you agree that lesbians can be devoted to God?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Cruising; Satan’s Joyride to Hell

It would work even better if you could get another lesbian to adminster the shocks. That way they'll both learn how disappointing their gay sex is.

I talked to one of my associates this morning about this case. He has a Lesbian dominatrix in custody that was arrested for assault and battery after over injuring a client. I'm going to discuss reducing her charges with her and my brother officer in exchange for her participation in the exorcism.

Thanks for the great advice!

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

Brother Lazarus, I strongly recommend you bring in a documentary filmmaking crew and videotape this Lesbian ExorciS/M for the edification of Pastors across the United States (and places where they may be evangelizing to uncivilized heathens, such as Amsterdam or Paris). Such a glorious demonstration of the power of our Lord should not be left to memory!

As an added bonus, it will prove that you have nothing to hide, thus reducing the likelihood of a successful lawsuit should the demon return at a later date.

But you agree that lesbians can be devoted to God?

Please prove that Ruth and Naomi of the Bible were carpet-munching God-mockers.

[Brother Lazarus]

Re: Cruising; Satan’s Joyride to Hell

You mean to tell me, you, a great member of a Bible-believing church, has never read the book of Ruth? It's right there in the Bible (even KJV ones) between Judges and 1 Samuel. However did you forget?

You sure have a filthy mind Serenity. Those pictures were obviously taken from an illustrated Bible. They show the expression of sisterly love. Only a pervert, such as yourself, could suggest they are images of lesbianism. Have you ever been treated for a sexual addiction problem? The best treatment for sexual addiction is prayer, Bible study, more prayer, and especially pastoral counseling. You really need help!

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

[Serenity-Millennium]

Re: Cruising; Satan’s Joyride to Hell

Well, Nobar King seemed to agree with me that they are homosexuals. Do you think your brother in Christ is all the things you called me?

[Brother Lazarus]

Re: Cruising; Satan’s Joyride to Hell

This thread is about the exorcism of demon possessed women who have been forced by Satan to become lesbians against their will. I'm hoping we can stay on topic.

The exorcism of the victim who became a lesbian due to demonic possession on a cruise is scheduled for Thursday evening at 11 PM at the Hampton Inn on Gervais St. an undisclosed location.

Several SCOOP officers will supervise. A dominatrix lesbian has agreed to assist in exchange for a reduction in charges from aggravated assault with a deadly weapon (she had a whip) to simple assault. She is unaware that she will also be exorcised.

This should be a wonderful Godly experience for all involved.

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Cruising; Satan’s Joyride to Hell

This thread is about the exorcism of demon possessed women who have been forced by Satan to become lesbians against their will. I'm hoping we can stay on topic.

The exorcism of the victim who became a lesbian due to demonic possession on a cruise is scheduled for Thursday evening at 11 PM at the Hampton Inn on Gervais St. an undisclosed location.

Several SCOOP officers will supervise. A dominatrix lesbian has agreed to assist in exchange for a reduction in charges from aggravated assault with a deadly weapon (she had a whip) to simple assault. She is unaware that she will also be exorcised.

This should be a wonderful Godly experience for all involved.

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

Did you get the videographer that quickly, Brother Lazarus? Amazing!

How soon can I buy a copy of Lesbian ExorciS/M for my church?

[Brother Lazarus]

Re: Cruising; Satan’s Joyride to Hell

Did you get the videographer that quickly, Brother Lazarus? Amazing!

How soon can I buy a copy of Lesbian ExorciS/M for my church?

We really don't want any outside observers. Media people have a tendency to distort what they have seen in an attempt to win Pulitzer Prizes. One of our officers has provided a hand held mini cam that we will attempt to use during the exorcism.

The film will most likely be used for our personal pleasure the SCOOP officer training program. I can't say for certain that it will be offered for sale or public viewing.

Yours in Christ

[Johnnyboy]

Re: Cruising; Satan’s Joyride to Hell

Best of luck doing Gods Work tonight, Brother Lazarus. Maybe you cold kill two birds with one stone. If you told Professor T X that Rosie O'Donnell was giving a seminar on the benefits of communism, you might be able to lure her to the undisclosed location. Just a thought.....

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Cruising; Satan’s Joyride to Hell

Brothers Lazarus and Rodimer, since I am on my road trip, I called my secretary back in California and arranged for her to send you free VHS copies of the lesbian exorcisms I performed in the late 1980's. The video is somewhat grainy and the girls' hair is pretty big, even by Eighties standards, but the proper administration and methods are there.

You'll even see that I haven't changed one bit! Praise Jesus for plastic surgery keeping me young over these years! I had her send it out overnight priority so you should both receive it in your PO Boxes by tomorrow!

[Brother Lazarus]

Re: Cruising; Satan’s Joyride to Hell

Brothers Lazarus and Rodimer, since I am on my road trip, I called my secretary back in California and arranged for her to send you free VHS copies of the lesbian exorcisms I performed in the late 1980's. The video is somewhat grainy and the girls' hair is pretty big, even by Eighties standards, but the proper administration and methods are there.

You'll even see that I haven't changed one bit! Praise Jesus for plastic surgery keeping me young over these years! I had her send it out overnight priority so you should both receive it in your PO Boxes by tomorrow!

I'm sure your tapes will be very entertaining helpful. We will be finalizing our official plan for Thursday's exorcism tomorrow morning. I'll be letting you know what the final plans are later tomorrow afternoon.

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

[Mad Prophet Helmholtz]

Re: Cruising; Satan’s Joyride to Hell

Please send me a copy of LESBIAN BRAINWASH TECHNIQUES IN HOTEL ROOMS. No doubt the power of hotel rooms is galvanized by the archisystematic structure of the design which concentrates powerful Hwatts generated by glorious actions inside said hotels to create a direct link to Spaceship Jesus, Supermen, and Relay Satellite-Computers orbiting various planets around all known star systems.

Watching Rev. Osborne's videos may result in telepathic information coming from deep space quasars, living conscious stars who transmit information on how to stop homosexual agenda, destroy Qaddafi in Libya, hack David Letterman's show and take it off the air, and the wanton destruction of all Sea Worlds around the country dedicated to promoting homosexual penis worship ceremonies revolving around the sacred devotion to the ORCA BEING Shamu.

LISTEN TO CONSCIOUS QUASARS FOR CLUES. TUNE YOUR RADIO TO UNKNOWN FREQUENCIES SO YOU MAY EAVESDROP ON ALIEN COMMUNICATIONS MEANT FOR DEEP-SPACE CONSPIRACIES AND SOVIET KGB/CUBAN PLANS OF COLONIZING COMETS FOR MILITARY PURPOSES...

[Brother Lazarus]

Re: Cruising; Satan’s Joyride to Hell

Please send me a copy of LESBIAN BRAINWASH TECHNIQUES IN HOTEL ROOMS. No doubt the power of hotel rooms is galvanized by the archisystematic structure of the design which concentrates powerful Hwatts generated by glorious actions inside said hotels to create a direct link to Spaceship Jesus, Supermen, and Relay Satellite-Computers orbiting various planets around all known star systems.

Watching Rev. Osborne's videos may result in telepathic information coming from deep space quasars, living conscious stars who transmit information on how to stop homosexual agenda, destroy Qaddafi in Libya, hack David Letterman's show and take it off the air, and the wanton destruction of all Sea Worlds around the country dedicated to promoting homosexual penis worship ceremonies revolving around the sacred devotion to the ORCA BEING Shamu.

LISTEN TO CONSCIOUS QUASARS FOR CLUES. TUNE YOUR RADIO TO UNKNOWN FREQUENCIES SO YOU MAY EAVESDROP ON ALIEN COMMUNICATIONS MEANT FOR DEEP-SPACE CONSPIRACIES AND SOVIET KGB/CUBAN PLANS OF COLONIZING COMETS FOR MILITARY PURPOSES...

The film of Thursday's exorcism will most likely not be distributed outside of SCOOP headquarters. Rest assured Brother Prophet that I will describe in lurid exacting detail the events that transpire. I will be sure to let you know if I detect any conspiracies or alien interventions.

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

[Brother Lazarus]

Re: Cruising; Satan’s Joyride to Hell

The plans for the exorcism are complete. It is scheduled to begin tonight.

A room has been rented at the Gervais St. Hampton Inn an undisclosed location. The room has been bugged with cameras and microphones. The two lezbos have been sharing a cell in the Alvin S. Glenn detention center where guards tell us they have been engaging in lesbian sex. They are being released from the jail this afternoon and will be taken to the hotel undisclosed where we are certain they will engage in more lesbian sex.

The plan is to let them engage in sex until they reach climax. We will know when the time is right when they start crying out to God to let Him know that they want to come unto Him. When that moment occurs SCOOP officers will burst into the room and taze them. Each lesbian is to be tazed five times.

We have hired two local evangelical Baptist pastors who will then use the room to minister to them in privacy. The pastors tell me they will need about 48 hours to properly minister to them and purge them of the demons that posses them.

After the pastors depart, the lezbos will be tied up and forced to watch "Father Know Best" and "Leave it to Beaver" episodes for another 48 hours. Sleep deprivation techniques will be employed during this final stage of the exorcism.

The wayward ex-lesbian wife will be released to her husband on Tuesday. The dominatrix will be returned to jail to serve out her sentence for simple assault.

So we basically have three steps.

1) Negative reinforcement (tazing)
2) Purging of the demons (mistering)
3) Relearning of their wifely duties (Father Knows Best and Leave it to Beaver)

I'll keep you informed.

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

[Miss April]

Re: Cruising; Satan’s Joyride to Hell

God loves lesbians! Just look at Ruth and Naomi.

Little Queer your nothing but a lier God Does not love lesbians Read the Bible and Repent before Jesus Sends you to Hell Stop Telling Lies God Mocker

[Miss April]

Re: Cruising; Satan’s Joyride to Hell

Well, Nobar King seemed to agree with me that they are homosexuals. Do you think your brother in Christ is all the things you called me?

They Were not Homosexuals you pervert get some help you need it Brother Nobar was not agreeing with you Fool Read The Bible and stop Making Things that you want to be in the Holy Bible You better Repent Soon before its to Late Friend Jesus can help you just let him