Sister Charli and I are going to get married

[Disciple Luke]

Praise Jesus.

Pastor John (as Sister Charli's keeper now that her dear father has passed away) has agreed that I should marry Sister Charli.

For those unfamiliar with my story, my dear wife Sarah died in childbirth 8 months ago having Matthew. Matty was our third son along with Mark now aged 2 and John now aged 4.

I have had to give up work since losing Sarah as I could not find a suitable nanny who would bring the boys up as God dictates - not as society deems acceptable.

But God certainly works in mysterious ways. Through the Landover Baptist forum I have found a woman who I believe will be a wonderful mother to my boys. She is 47 and a virgin, having devoted her life to caring for her father.

Now that I have Pastor John's permission, I am a bit unsure what I am supposed to do next. Sister Charli lives in Western Australia and I am in Sydney so I can hardly get down on bended knee. Should I ask by phone or by email? Should I purchase a new ring or give her the one that Sarah wore? Should I maybe fly over to WA on the weekend and ask her then? (It is so difficult tho with her always having a chaperone.)

The title of this thread might be a tad presumptuous, given that I have not yet asked Miss Charli. Should I send flowers? Or chocolates?

Oooops. I will be back in a minute. Mark just wet the bed and I need to go and change the linen. I thought we were going so well with his potty training.

BRB,
Luke.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Sister Charli and I are going to get married

Congratulations Luke. I asked Phebe to marry me over the phone, she was living in Australia at the time. Do not give her your old wives ring, buy her a new one. I noticed that Charli lives in the western part of AU., tell me Luke are you working right now? How would you like to move ? You see last week I purchased a diamond mine in that neck of the woods and I need someone to run it for me.
You don't need to know much about mining in general, the position is more about managing people. I need to staff it from the bottom up. Are the Abos any good at mining, I have a mine in Sierra Leone and the nigras that work it do so for next to nothing. You will need to staff some fairer skinned people to manage them.

The position will come with a brand new home, new car every year, access to one of my corporate jets and a salary in the mid six figures. You will be allowed to hire a PA of your choosing. Are you up for the challenge?

[Disciple Luke]

Re: Sister Charli and I are going to get married

Congratulations Luke. I asked Phebe to marry me over the phone, she was living in Australia at the time. Do not give her your old wives ring, buy her a new one. I noticed that Charli lives in the western part of AU., tell me Luke are you working right now? How would you like to move ? You see last week I purchased a diamond mine in that neck of the woods and I need someone to run it for me.
You don't need to know much about mining in general, the position is more about managing people. I need to staff it from the bottom up. Are the Abos any good at mining, I have a mine in Sierra Leone and the nigras that work it do so for next to nothing. You will need to staff some fairer skinned people to manage them.

The position will come with a brand new home, new car every year, access to one of my corporate jets and a salary in the mid six figures. You will be allowed to hire a PA of your choosing. Are you up for the challenge?

Hello Brother James.

My degree is in civil engineering, but I am sure that it will be adaptable to the mining industry.

The diamond mines in Western Australia are up in the North Eastern corner, around Argyle. Is that where you have a mining lease? They have the most gorgeous pink diamonds and, well ..... if I were to work for you .... maybe the first months wage could go in to producing an exquisite diamond ring for Miss Charli.

The indigenous are not much good as workers Mr Dewitt. But by law you have to hold open a certain number of employment positions exclusively for them. Don't you worry too much about that tho as regardless how much you spend on advertising and what ever incentives you offer them, no one will apply. Australia has a mighty fine tax payer funded social security system that allows the Abos to live very comfortably without working.

Oh Mr Dewitt. I am soooo excited at this prospect of working for you and marrying Miss Charli and her looking after my boys and homeschooling them as good little Christian kids.

I will PM you my CV and my phone number.

God bless you.
Luke Brown.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Sister Charli and I are going to get married

=Disciple Luke;591251]

Hello Brother James.

My degree is in civil engineering, but I am sure that it will be adaptable to the mining industry.

Perfect, that is exactly what I need.

The diamond mines in Western Australia are up in the North Eastern corner, around Argyle. Is that where you have a mining lease? They have the most gorgeous pink diamonds and, well ..... if I were to work for you .... maybe the first months wage could go in to producing an exquisite diamond ring for Miss Charli.

Yes that is the area where my mine is located. If the ring is holding you back, don't let it. Are there any fine jewelers in Sydney? Go pick one out, I can give you the phone # to one of my bankers in Sydney and I will take care of it for you. You can pay me back over a few months if you like. You can always pick up a pink diamond later and gave a custom ring made. Phebe has a different diamond for every day in the week.

The indigenous are not much good as workers Mr Dewitt. But by law you have to hold open a certain number of employment positions exclusively for them. Don't you worry too much about that tho as regardless how much you spend on advertising and what ever incentives you offer them, no one will apply. Australia has a mighty fine tax payer funded social security system that allows the Abos to live very comfortably without working.

Lazy darkies, I guess they are the same the world over. Its probably better any way, I lose a lot of raw diamonds to my nigras stealing habits in Sierra Leone. Its coming to the point of body cavity searches and ex-rays.

Oh Mr Dewitt. I am soooo excited at this prospect of working for you and marrying Miss Charli and her looking after my boys and homeschooling them as good little Christian kids.

I will PM you my CV and my phone number.

God bless you.
Luke Brown.

That will be perfect, but I think you just got the job son.
How does $650,000 US sound for a start? If you contact my corporate office in Sydney latter to day I will have a contract waiting for you. Upon signing the contract you will have full access to my corporate jet and are more than welcome to use it. You can fly out and get your woman at anytime you like. You can find an existing home or build one. Mr Snead is the HR director in Sydney and he can guide you through the process. Welcome aboard.
YIC James Dewitt.
P.S. none of my executives call me Mr Dewitt, James is fine.

[Disciple Luke]

Re: Sister Charli and I are going to get married

Mr Dewitt James,

It is will tears in my eyes I thank you for your truly generous offer. I assure you that I am in deed a hard worker and will not let you down.

I know it is the middle of the night here in Australia but I was so excited I phoned Pastor John to tell him the good news. Miss Charli is asleep.

I will need a shopping day in Sydney tomorrow to choose a mighty fine ring for a very special lady and then myself and the boys can fly to Perth on Friday. Pastor John and his lovely wife Rebekkah, along with Miss Charli will mind the boys while I fly up to the mine site.

Assuming that Miss Charli agrees then Pastor John will marry us on the 10th October at his Sunday morning service. Brother James I do hope that you and Mrs Phebe can be there. Miss Charli mentioned what a great support Sister Phebe was to her after her father died.

Praise Jesus. God is so good. After all the heartache I have gone through since losing Sarah ..... well ..... God certainly does look after his children doesn't he?

[James Dewitt]

Re: Sister Charli and I are going to get married

Mr Dewitt James,

It is will tears in my eyes I thank you for your truly generous offer. I assure you that I am in deed a hard worker and will not let you down.

I know it is the middle of the night here in Australia but I was so excited I phoned Pastor John to tell him the good news. Miss Charli is asleep.

I will need a shopping day in Sydney tomorrow to choose a mighty fine ring for a very special lady and then myself and the boys can fly to Perth on Friday. Pastor John and his lovely wife Rebekkah, along with Miss Charli will mind the boys while I fly up to the mine site.

Assuming that Miss Charli agrees then Pastor John will marry us on the 10th October at his Sunday morning service. Brother James I do hope that you and Mrs Phebe can be there. Miss Charli mentioned what a great support Sister Phebe was to her after her father died.

Praise Jesus. God is so good. After all the heartache I have gone through since losing Sarah ..... well ..... God certainly does look after his children doesn't he?

Good its a done deal, I hate long negations. I e mailed Mr Snead, he will have contract waiting by 10:00 am your time. He will also give you a corporate American Express card, you can use it to purchase a ring and what ever else you need. Your corporate photo ID will gain your access to our jet and and pilot pool. I am sure Phebe and I will make the trip, now that I have my passport back.

Yes God does look out for his children. I run my companies the way Jesus would.

[Disciple Luke]

Re: Sister Charli and I are going to get married

I can't thank you enough Brother James.

I will meet Mr Snead 10am on the dot.

Praise Jesus!

I will be back soon. I have to phone Miss Charli. I don't care what time of the night it is.

2 Corinthians 9:8 And God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work:

[Disciple Luke]

Re: Sister Charli and I are going to get married

It was a pleasure to meet Mr Snead this morning, Brother James.

We came to an agreement on my contract ....

Welcome to Dewitt Corporation.

As a manager or executive you are stating that you are a Christian and will follow the rules set forth in HR document1

HR document 1, states that the Dewitt Corp will follow the KJV1611, as an executive, upper management or foreman you will also follow the KJV1611.

1a You are required to tithe 10 % of your income(Pre Tax) and do agree to have it with held out of your check. The monies will be held and paid out monthly to the independent Baptist Church of your Choice.

1b An additional tithe of 5%(optional, but strongly recommended ) may be taken out and paid to the Landover Baptist Church, of Freehold IA.

1c As part of the management team weekly Bible study classes will be held. It is recommended that said classes be held on pay day usually Thursday or Friday. A payroll representative will be on hand to cash their checks if a person desires to donate to a Church.

1c1 A fee of not less than 2% but not more than 5% will be imposed . All service fees will be held for deposit in the Landover account.

1d As a way of showing his gratitude Mr Dewitt has instructed that a bonus of $ 1000.00 be given to the most senior executive and $500.00 for all other members of the management team for every person converted to Christianity.

1e You are required to pass a drug test
The test will be checking for
a Marijuana
b cocaine and or its derivatives
c opiates
d lsd, or any other mind altering drug.

1f By signing this contract you here by swear that you are not a Homosexual, Lesbian and or sexual deviate of any kind.

I look forward to being a valued member of Dewitt Corp.

Oh, and thanks so much for the advance of this month's wages so that I could get a ring for Miss Charli. I have promised her a better ring tho - that being the best pink diamond that we mine in the next 6 months.

Mr Dewitt James. I truly thank Jesus for allowing our paths to cross at this time.

[Seth Campbell]

Re: Sister Charli and I are going to get married

Congrats on the marriage and the new job!

[James Dewitt]

Re: Sister Charli and I are going to get married

It was a pleasure to meet Mr Snead this morning, Brother James.

We came to an agreement on my contract ....

Welcome to Dewitt Corporation.

As a manager or executive you are stating that you are a Christian and will follow the rules set forth in HR document1

HR document 1, states that the Dewitt Corp will follow the KJV1611, as an executive, upper management or foreman you will also follow the KJV1611.

1a You are required to tithe 10 % of your income(Pre Tax) and do agree to have it with held out of your check. The monies will be held and paid out monthly to the independent Baptist Church of your Choice.

1b An additional tithe of 5%(optional, but strongly recommended ) may be taken out and paid to the Landover Baptist Church, of Freehold IA.

1c As part of the management team weekly Bible study classes will be held. It is recommended that said classes be held on pay day usually Thursday or Friday. A payroll representative will be on hand to cash their checks if a person desires to donate to a Church.

1c1 A fee of not less than 2% but not more than 5% will be imposed . All service fees will be held for deposit in the Landover account.

1d As a way of showing his gratitude Mr Dewitt has instructed that a bonus of $ 1000.00 be given to the most senior executive and $500.00 for all other members of the management team for every person converted to Christianity.

1e You are required to pass a drug test
The test will be checking for
a Marijuana
b cocaine and or its derivatives
c opiates
d lsd, or any other mind altering drug.

1f By signing this contract you here by swear that you are not a Homosexual, Lesbian and or sexual deviate of any kind.

I look forward to being a valued member of Dewitt Corp.

Oh, and thanks so much for the advance of this month's wages so that I could get a ring for Miss Charli. I have promised her a better ring tho - that being the best pink diamond that we mine in the next 6 months.

Mr Dewitt James. I truly thank Jesus for allowing our paths to cross at this time.

I know you will do just fine, The Dewitt corp. takes pride in the fact that we, as a company adhere to the Holy KJV1611. When making a decision, I often ask my self what would Jesus do?

I am sure that you read the clause on bonuses. Last year alone my company paid out more than $450,000 dollars.
One executive in India pulled in an extra $100,000 dollars alone. That man did some soul saving. He converted 100 Hinido's all by himself.

Give my best to the Little Lady , YIC James.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Sister Charli and I are going to get married

Brother James, did your wife mean to offer me a different position?

She told me she had a slot that I'd be perfect to fill, but she still hasn't sent me the job description.

If I'm to convince my congregation that it's a good idea for me to provide sermons and counseling via Skype, they'll need to know that there's a good justification . . . like funding for that new men's club roof!

[Disciple Luke]

Re: Sister Charli and I are going to get married

Brother James,

I seem to be having a few human resource issues here at the diamond mine.

I have been reported to the Industrial Relations Tribunal because I allegedly refused to employ a self confessed atheist bloke. His allegation is in fact malicious and false. I did NOT refuse to employ him. I just told him that he was expected to attend Christian prayer meetings and bible study weekly as part of his contract. He threatened me with the religious vilification laws. I told him he could take the job OR take a hike. In what way did I vilify his religion when he doesn't even have one?

[James Dewitt]

Re: Sister Charli and I are going to get married

Brother James,

I seem to be having a few human resource issues here at the diamond mine.

I have been reported to the Industrial Relations Tribunal because I allegedly refused to employ a self confessed atheist bloke. His allegation is in fact malicious and false. I did NOT refuse to employ him. I just told him that he was expected to attend Christian prayer meetings and bible study weekly as part of his contract. He threatened me with the religious vilification laws. I told him he could take the job OR take a hike. In what way did I vilify his religion when he doesn't even have one?

Brother Luke, you can hire a non Christian for manual labor, but not for management. If the person will not attend the meetings, just wait for him/ or her to make an infraction against corporate policy. Say if he/she punches the time clock 1 minute late or smokes at any time or location ( Company land) it is a class a violation of policy and terminate them. It is your discretion to use the 3 write up rule or not. Sometimes it is to dangerous to keep them.
We can not make a sinner believe in God, but if they want a check they can sit and listen. I don't see what the issue is they are on the clock and are being paid for the meeting.

I agree with you that he/she does not have to take the job, nor do we have to hire them.

I have had nothing but good reviews of your work so far. Mr Sneed reports that you have had two conversions to Christianity for far, your next weeks check will reflect it.
What is the largest diamond of the week? The report I received said production was up 35% from the previous owners highest weekly level. Outstanding work.

How is the house hunting coming? Remember I have a crew of 100 builders on hand and they can be on location within a few days to build one. Its a Company benefit for True Christian(TM) upper management.

YIC James Dewitt( DA Boss)