[Talitha]

Re: The Solitary Sin

I am so careful about avoiding self pollution I have one of my maids on my staff take care of the actually mechanics of handling my tallywacker when I need to use the restroom. That way nothing depraved happens.

I think It's amazing how you Menfolk can make such sacrifices.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: The Solitary Sin

If I witness a woman in a state of undress while performing NSI©, I beat her for being a disgusting harlot who flaunts herself in the privacy of her own home. She should have the foresight to know that I am going to be gawking through her window or hiding in her closet.

Breaking into a peson's home and beating them up is home invasion - yet another crime you are guilty of.

And how is she flaunting herself if she's in her own home, a place where YOU have no right to be without her permission.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: The Solitary Sin

I am so careful about avoiding self pollution I have one of my maids on my staff take care of the actually mechanics of handling my tallywacker when I need to use the restroom. That way nothing depraved happens.

You don't see anything depraved about making someone else hold your penis while you urinate?

[Brother Lazarus]

Re: The Solitary Sin

Gentlemen, while performing my routine Neighborhood Sin Inspection©*, I was mortified to discover a young man vigorously gratifying himself to a J.C. Penney catalog. That it was a home furnishings catalog is not only disturbing but irrelevant--it doesn't matter what one tugs one's tallywacker to, because flogging one's dong is a grave enough sin in itself.

Why? Because it's gay. That's right, gay. A pecker is a pecker. It doesn't matter if it's your own. So quit jackin' the beanstalk, fellas. FACT: Lance Bass used to be straight before compulsively squeezing the cream from his Twinkie.

You are an inspiration Mr. Hatchet. You stand four square against all things gay. You are a great American. You've inspired me to start my own neighborhood inspections to ensure all in my locale is true and Godly. Your place is heaven is assured.

Amen!

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: The Solitary Sin

Breaking into a peson's home and beating them up is home invasion - yet another crime you are guilty of.

And how is she flaunting herself if she's in her own home, a place where YOU have no right to be without her permission.

I have God's permission, you insufferable strumpet. I would wager--if I didn't think gambling was a sin--that every time you undress you fantasize that I am leering at you. I would also wager that you would love to move to my neighborhood so that your fantasy becomes a reality. Sorry to dash your dreams, but you'll never be able to afford my upscale neighborhood by chugging dongs for five dollars a pop.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: The Solitary Sin

I have God's permission, you insufferable strumpet.

Since your god's name isn't on the deed to my property, he can't give you permission to come onto it.

I would wager--if I didn't think gambling was a sin--that every time you undress you fantasize that I am leering at you.
I don't fantasize about being leered at by anyone, and especially not you.

I would also wager that you would love to move to my neighborhood so that your fantasy becomes a reality. Sorry to dash your dreams, but you'll never be able to afford my upscale neighborhood by chugging dongs for five dollars a pop.

I have a house in a very pretty neighborhoos, and my neighbors are friendly. Why would I want to move next door to a pervert like you?

[VictoryOS]

Re: The Solitary Sin

Dear sweet hell-bound Lumpy! I was hoping that by now you would have learned how to quote and reply properly. I see that isn't the case.

[Walter Brimstone]

Re: The Solitary Sin

Lumpy, Lumpy, Lumpy,

You know prefectly well why you want to move in next to Mr. Hatchet.
It seems you are one to go after the much older and more upstanding True Christian(tm) men. But, that's between you and the Lord, you perverted heathen! My prayers are with you, Mr. Hatchet, that this creature doesn't set foot into you fine neighborhood.

In Him,

Walter Brimstone

I have a house in a very pretty neighborhoos, and my neighbors are friendly. Why would I want to move next door to a pervert like you?

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: The Solitary Sin

Lumpy, Lumpy, Lumpy,

You know prefectly well why you want to move in next to Mr. Hatchet.
It seems you are one to go after the much older and more upstanding True Christian™ men. But, that's between you and the Lord, you perverted heathen! My prayers are with you, Mr. Hatchet, that this creature doesn't set foot into you fine neighborhood.

In Him,

Walter Brimstone

No way would I want to move anywhere near that old pervert. I'd have to put up lead shutters, and they don't match my decor.

[Walter Brimstone]

Re: The Solitary Sin

Friend,

Like Jacquie, You seem to have a problem about casting false judgement.
Mr. Hatchet is a fine man and I wish there were more like him.

In Him,

Walter Brimstone

No way would I want to move anywhere near that old pervert. I'd have to put up lead shutters, and they don't match my decor.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: The Solitary Sin

No way would I want to move anywhere near that old pervert. I'd have to put up lead shutters, and they don't match my decor.

Let's see ....



Lead shutters just might work. That's not that you'll actually need them, since dear Brother Hatchet is merely doing the Lord's work, and the innocent have nothing to hide.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: The Solitary Sin

Let's see ....

[ATTACH]5621[/ATTACH]

No dear, I actually own a very nice house, not a trashed mobile home.

Lead shutters just might work. That's not that you'll actually need them, since dear Brother Hatchet is merely doing the Lord's work, and the innocent have nothing to hide.

I don't take kindly to Peeping Toms, and Hatchet is a pervert.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: The Solitary Sin

No way would I want to move anywhere near that old pervert. I'd have to put up lead shutters, and they don't match my decor.

Lead is poisonous and can damage the nervous system as well as cause brain disorders, but since you have deadly venereal diseases from having a cooter that's as easy to get into as Arizona State University, I suppose lead is not a primary concern for you.

And I am not an "old pervert." Read these testimonials:

You are an inspiration Mr. Hatchet. You stand four square against all things gay. You are a great American. You've inspired me to start my own neighborhood inspections to ensure all in my locale is true and Godly. Your place is heaven is assured.

Mr. Hatchet is a fine man and I wish there were more like him.

I could fill VOLUMES with similar quotations. Only Jesus is held in higher esteem, but I am a VERY CLOSE second. You will show me the respect and admiration that I so richly deserve, you repugnant trollop, or suffer my wrath.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: The Solitary Sin

Only Jesus is held in higher esteem, but I am a VERY CLOSE second. You will show me the respect and admiration that I so richly deserve, you repugnant trollop, or suffer my wrath.

I already show you more respect than you deserve.

[SUV]

Re: The Solitary Sin

Gadzooks! No wonder Lumpy's always upset! Someone's stolen her velvet painting of Elvis, "Hunting" wall tapestry, and Dent-U-Cup, Right off of her kitchen table!



And it was not good Brother Hatchet