My wife has porno novels!

[Hank Whitlock]

So early this morning I was reading my Bible when I came across the verse Acts 19:19
After reading this verse I started searching in every nook and cranny looking for any evil book that might have accidentally entered my home.
To my surprise, when looking underneath my wife's bed I found two love novel, which were probably filled porn and other evil acts.
Needless to say I smacked my wife and punished her calling her a hellbound sinner.
I burned the evil books in the back yard and then I buried the ashes.
have you ever caught your daughters and wives reading books inspired by the devil?
If so could you inform me of how you handled the situation and how you punished them?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: My wife has porno novels!

It's amazingly simple. If it's not the Bible it's bad for them.

I fixed the problem in my own family by making sure none of my daughters learned how to read or write. I made them memorize the Bible from tape so they known it from cover to cover. They all worked out nice, as they never visit, so I clearly did the right thing.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: My wife has porno novels!

Generally, the best cure for most sin, that which doesn't call for a death penalty, is a sound beating. Beat your sinful wife. That is my advice.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: My wife has porno novels!

Mr Whitlock, if I may speak here as a True Christian(tm) wife and mother, your story horrifies me. It seems to me that your domestic problems run deeper than the obtaining and reading of vile, pornographic matter.

I do not wish to be unduly critical here, but where did she get these books? If they were library books then why was she allowed to go to the library? (Incidentally, if you have destroyed library books then you may be liable to a fine, which you will be obliged to pay under secular law. Titus 3:1 applies, I believe, to library fines.)

If she bought the books then you need to look more closely at her housekeeping allowance, and if she borrowed them from "a friend" then you need to take firmer control of her social life.

I can't think of any other way she could have got hold of them, short of finding them in a dumpster.

YiC
JL-V

[Back against wall]

Re: My wife has porno novels!

Send me the books and a photograph of your wife and daughters immediately young man. I will burn the books without haste.

[Hank Whitlock]

Re: My wife has porno novels!

Mr Whitlock, if I may speak here as a True Christian™ wife and mother, your story horrifies me. It seems to me that your domestic problems run deeper than the obtaining and reading of vile, pornographic matter.

I do not wish to be unduly critical here, but where did she get these books? If they were library books then why was she allowed to go to the library? (Incidentally, if you have destroyed library books then you may be liable to a fine, which you will be obliged to pay under secular law. Titus 3:1 applies, I believe, to library fines.)

If she bought the books then you need to look more closely at her housekeeping allowance, and if she borrowed them from "a friend" then you need to take firmer control of her social life.

I can't think of any other way she could have got hold of them, short of finding them in a dumpster.

YiC
JL-V

It's so hard these day to keep children and wives from the devil's many schemes in which he plays.



After further questioning and beatings my wife finally admitted that she received the two books which were called "Romeo and Juliet" and "Pride and prejudice" from a neighbor two miles down the road. You might be asking how my wife received the books out of my watchful eye. The answer is that I'm a farmer and me and my three worthless son will work all day unless we are reading our Bibles. Trust me, my wife will be under close surveillance. She is now not allowed outside for any reason unless I'm present with her.

[I Man Rastafari]

Re: My wife has porno novels!

White men are usually under represented in the area of the member so white women are often disappointed by the performance of their husband. The result is usually seeking the company of Black men who have unusually large members. If no Black men are nearby the white woman will often buy romance books featuring Italian men with long hair on the cover.