[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!

I am a lesbian. As I recall, the passage in leviticus that you interpret as condemning homosexuality says something along the lines of "a man shall not lie with another man, as it is an abomination." So what about us girls who like girls? Are we sinners? And if that's so in you view, could you please explain why you think so? Also how would one go about "curing" me?

It's not about what WE think, it's about what JESUS thinks, and of course Jesus can't stand filthy rug-munchers and disgusting pole-smokers. It's right there in the New Testament:

(Romans 1:26-27) "For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet."

You should contact a Senior Pastor about getting help discarding your lesbian deathstyle choice.



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[freemanjessica Waiting for Email Confirmation]

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!

I know that homosexuality can be overcome because I myself have had to do just that. And it's been years now since I have lusted over other women. I'm learning to rise above the flesh. I do have the blessing of loving men, also, I was never completely lesbian but I know it's possible to overcome such feelings. I know that raging hormones are not an excuse for any type of lust - including homosexuality. And I've come a really long way. So it can be done! I'm ashamed to admit my experiences but at the same time, if it will give someone else hope, then I would like to post this. You can do it! If you need help, come on here and pray, pray, pray. You can transform yourself, I promise. I used to be a very lustful person and now I'm not. And I'm happy about that...my life is much better now. It can happen! Don't give up!

[Didymus Much]

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!

I know that homosexuality can be overcome because I myself have had to do just that...

Hi, um, Jessica (I'll assume that's your first name). Why don't you make your way to the Introductions forum so that the True Christians(tm) here can greet you properly? Make sure to follow the detailed instructions at the top of the page, and don't leave anything out about your years of lusting after the female form (including sordid and graphic details of your conquests, pics a plus).

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!

Hi, um, Jessica (I'll assume that's your first name). Why don't you make your way to the Introductions forum so that the True Christians™ here can greet you properly? Make sure to follow the detailed instructions at the top of the page, and don't leave anything out about your years of lusting after the female form (including sordid and graphic details of your conquests, pics a plus).

Great, now we'll have to wade through another catalogue of carpet-cleaning and cunny-bumping.

Nobody wants to read that stuff except you, Diddle-Us.

[Jedediah]

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!

don't leave anything out about your years of lusting after the female form (including sordid and graphic details of your conquests, pics a plus).

What, are the pages on your Penthouse Forums magazines all stuck together, so now you try to get cheap thrills on our family forum? I'd have thought that some of our righteousness would have rubbed off on you by now, but apparently you're just dead set on letting your addiction to masturbation stand between you and Salvation. It's sad.

[TinaSantafe, whore]

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!

Ok, so, I wanted to ask something.

Y'all keep talking about Satan raping non-believers up the butt, right? Does that mean Satan is gay? If Satan is gay, how does he punish the women who go to hell?

[Didymus Much]

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!

...If Satan is gay, how does he punish the women who go to hell?

He makes them wear clashing colours, turns the TV from Oprah to a hockey game, and forbids them chattering inanely.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!

Ok, so, I wanted to ask something.

Y'all keep talking about Satan raping non-believers up the butt, right? Does that mean Satan is gay? If Satan is gay, how does he punish the women who go to hell?

They are peeled like grapes and then repeatedly dipped in scalding hot spunk for all eternity. Take a look at THIS.

[TinaSantafe, whore]

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!

They are peeled like grapes and then repeatedly dipped in scalding hot spunk for all eternity. Take a look at THIS.

That doesn't sound so great.

Ok, next question! If homers like being anally raped, why would it be punishment or torture for Satan to spend eternity doing that to them? It sounds like it would be a reward for homers.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!

That doesn't sound so great.

Ok, next question! If homers like being anally raped, why would it be punishment or torture for Satan to spend eternity doing that to them? It sounds like it would be a reward for homers.

Did you look at the link?

God chooses the torture that will most annoy the sinner. Joos for example, are forced to serve glasses of porkfat to all the muslims in hell. They wear pigskins too, and they have to pay retail.

[Jedediah]

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!

Ok, next question! If homers like being anally raped, why would it be punishment or torture for Satan to spend eternity doing that to them? It sounds like it would be a reward for homers.

The anal rape endured by homers in hell takes on an entirely different and horrific dimension since demons have hooked barbs on their tallywhackers. Plus, the end of their tallywhackers has a toothy mouth that chews the homers up from the insides, only for them to spontaneously regenerate to endure this over and over again, for all eternity.

Does a rectal pounding from this look like a reward to you?

[TinaSantafe, whore]

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!

The anal rape endured by homers in hell takes on an entirely different and horrific dimension since demons have hooked barbs on their tallywhackers. Plus, the end of their tallywhackers has a toothy mouth that chews the homers up from the insides, only for them to spontaneously regenerate to endure this over and over again, for all eternity.

Does a rectal pounding from this look like a reward to you?

Huh? What is a "tallywhacker?" OMG, are y'all so uptight and repressed that you can't even say 'penis' or 'cock' or 'dick' or 'one eyed snake' or even 'third leg?' That's funny.

[Zechariah Smyth]

*** erotica deleted***.

Please watch the potty mouth, Tina.



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!

Huh? What is a "tallywhacker?" OMG, are y'all so uptight and repressed that you can't even say 'penis' or 'cock' or 'dick' or 'one eyed snake' or even 'third leg?' That's funny.

Sometimes, members' children read over their shoulders here, TinaSatan'sCumbucket. So we try not to use inappropriate language.

[Franklen Mann]

Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!

I'm gay and can confirm all gay people, in every country in the
world, want to ruin society as a whole. You know the
recent hurricanes threatening the US? That was us. We all came
together and ran around in a circle. And the earthquakes?
We collectively agreed to jump up and down at various
points of the landscape.
We won't settle until assless chaps are appropriate attire,
until all media platforms show a constant stream of phallic
symbols, and until Gaga is the national anthem of everything.