[maverickxeo]

Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers

Don't bias.

[Pastor Rune Enoe]

Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers

Don't bias.

One more tell-tale sign: Spams our Christian board with his/her one-liners that no enlightened person gives a rodent's posterior about.

[maverickxeo]

Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers

I figure I can show you folks what I think, considering you think you are correct with NO proof but a book that has been translated hundreds of times from the original.

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers

I figure I can show you folks what I think, considering you think you are correct with NO proof but a book that has been translated hundreds of times from the original.

This is a thread about identifying Homers.

If you'd care to introduce yourself in the General Church Fellowship area's Introduction Forum subforum, and share your beliefs about the Bible there, that'd be perfectly appropriate. Here, it's just derailing an important thread.

Now, if you'd care to stay on topic and tell us how you identify Homers in your town (in Belgium, I'm guessing), please feel free.

[maverickxeo]

Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers

You can't identified a homosexual by biasing. I bet you deal with homosexuals and you would never know since you are jut biasing.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers

Has anyone mentioned having an unhealthy (read: ANY) interest in Harry Potter yet?

[maverickxeo]

Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers

I personally hate the books, not for the witchcraft-ism, but for the plot. I dislike the whole premise.

I have watched the movies, or the first two, anyway. In no way does it condemn any religion, nor does it instruct people on how to perform witchcraft.

[Daniel]

Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers

Drive foreign cars
Can't shoot straight
Don't know how to dress out a deer
Don't know how to change oil
Drink funny coffee (skinny flat what?)
Smell too purdy!
Can't keep their eyes above a man's belt buckle.
Sing Madonna songs (this makes me ill)

I totally agree. Here in West Virginia, if you can't shoot straight you'd better be afraid of the people that can. I've dressed out a deer more than once and I'm only 16. Changing the oil is customary. I've done it since I was six. Coffee should only come black. My uncle drinks "funny" coffee. My dad calls it perfume. A man should never smell "pretty". That is a sure sign of homerism. Anything below a man's belt buckle should only be viewed by a man's wife at his discretion. As for Madonna songs, do I even need to explain?

Yours in Christ,

Brother Daniel

[Larry Lee]

Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers

Some ways to spot a dyke...

Plays sports.
Knows her way around a car.
Cares for anything other than how pretty it is when buying a car.
Has run for office as a demoncrat.
Watches sports.
Can't be bothered to cook or bake.
Has a job that puts her in charge of men.
Expects to be paid the same as men.
Wants special rights.
Burns her bra.
Wears flannel outside of a sensible nightgown.
Is a member of the military.
Has short hair.
Wears trousers/blue jeans.
Listens to Helen Reddy.
Watches the news.
Reads a newspaper.

Those are excellent signs to watch out for, Sister MM, but you missed the one surefire tip-off of dykism (actually, let me add a parenthetical comment here and note that any woman who would use the word surefire would certainly be altering us to her dude looks like a lady tendencies, or something like that, it's all so unnatural and hirsute I get confused) but I digress ... Feathery feminine voices. Train up your girls to flutter their speech the way they flip their Bible pages, helplessly unable to locate their Psalms from their Chronicles, which is to say, in need of a man. And we appreciate it -- Spiritual ineptitude among females is always a beguiling excuse for a man to step up to the plate and volunteer as the Leader of the Thursday Night Ladies Bible Study. So, the girl who refuses to tickle your earlobe with her feathery feminine voice, that's the gay one.

[WickedWitch]

Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers

"Stay sane inside insanity"

¤Has an obsession with displaying her/his nipples.

¤The accomplishment of which he is the most proud is making a man (with blonde hair and a tan), whom he uses to relieve his "tension".

¤Walks around in a strange laboratory (inside a strange and conveniently placed castle) in front of strange people in his "tighty whities".

¤Mistakes a man for his fiancée.

¤During a song, asks his Mommy for help.

¤Wears rose-tinted glasses.

¤During a sleep-over, while gossipping and giggling and painting each other's toenails, she grabs a hair drier and points it down the other girl's shirt after grabbing her friend's chest. (Woman)

¤Greets his guests while wearing an Anastasia costume.

¤His name is a woman's name, like Carmen.

¤Is a Broadway director.

¤Lives with several obviously gay men and one painfully stereotypical lesbian.

¤His favourite piece of advice is "Keep it gay!"