[Deaner]

Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers

Screams when you throw a baseball at him.

Wears clogs.

Drives a meticuosly clean Toyota Echo.

Wants a Gamecube instead of an Xbox.

Hangs out with his grandmother a lot.

Wears a dress shirt with jeans.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers

How could I forget?

Listens to the Scissor Sisters

Thinks "Spicy Orange" is an acceptable colour.

[Appelfap.]

Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers

Is Dutch

Good that I'm not Dutch then

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers

wears pleather pants or shorts
listens to musical stylings such as Barry Manilow and Air Supply
Gets manicures
Shops at Ikea
Is good at arranging Flowers

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers

Wears a fanny pack.
Wears sandals.
Has long hair.
Has a mustache.
Clothes are loose and “romantic”
Clothes are too tight and reveling.
Shows little interest in women.
Shows excessive interest in women.
Has a high pitched voice.
Hair is excessively neat.
Comes from a country no American can find on a map.
Has weak wrists.
Wears pink shirts (because his wife "made" him)
Watches the Lifetime cable station.
Wife is aggressive and domineering.
Women enjoy his company and find him interesting.
Buys his cars because they are reliable and economical.
Lives in San Fransissyco (drag queen obsessed pervert)
Lives in London England (Royal Queen obsessed pervert)
Lives in Berlin, Germany (rubber obsessed pervert)
Lives in New York (Joo obsessed pervert)
Lives in Brussels, Belgium (vegetable obsessed pervert)
Any man who drinks tea mind as well have sucked on some guys unit.
The same with any guy who likes wine.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers

Some ways to spot a dyke...

Plays sports.
Knows her way around a car.
Cares for anything other than how pretty it is when buying a car.
Has run for office as a demoncrat.
Watches sports.
Can't be bothered to cook or bake.
Has a job that puts her in charge of men.
Expects to be paid the same as men.
Wants special rights.
Burns her bra.
Wears flannel outside of a sensible nightgown.
Is a member of the military.
Has short hair.
Wears trousers/blue jeans.
Listens to Helen Reddy.
Watches the news.
Reads a newspaper.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers

Some ways to spot a dyke...

Has a job...

Surely you could've just left it there?

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers

Male / Female

*Whines incessantly about the "loss of life" in Iraq.
*Thinks that the sexes are equal
*Listens to the Beatles
*Thinks that Jesus' Message was all Love
*Owns more than 2 combs
*Owns more cats than dogs

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers

Male or Female

* Doesn't own a gun.

[Poetic Peter]

Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers

Good that I'm not Dutch then

Belgian, Dutch, whatever...

[TwinkBoy]

Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers

Good lord! (sigh) ...ok let me join in just for some...FUNnnn TC's......

Wears tight, colorful corsets
Wears fish net stockings
Wears high heels
Wears a plum in their hair
Wears makeup (men)
Wears earrings on occasion
Wears fur or feathers about the neck
Loves music
Loves doing the TIME WARP
Likes the saying, "Stay sane inside insanity".
Likes tap dancing
Likes Brad and Janet...damnit!
Thinks Rocky is great and Riff Raff ain't too bad either!

Had enough of this preposterousness, loves?

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers

In my truck stop ministry, I've noticed that a lot of the homers I've encountered and witnessed to are masculine truck drivers with beer bellies and beards.

So, I think we need to add that to the list:

Is a truck driver
Drinks beer, especially all different sorts (not just Bud or Miller)
Has a beard

Also:

Eats Snickers bars (like in that commercial)
Watches the Super Bowl (men in tight drawers)
Thinks TwinkBoy is "amusing"

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers

Thinks the "Church" of England is a real "Church".
Makes endless tedious posts with VARIOUS random words capitalised for no GOOD reason, featuring immensely irritating overuse of the word "loves", Rocky Horror references that would've been boring twenty years ago, and... oh, I can't go on.

[SUV]

Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers

Wears "fat guy" hats

[BornAgain]

Re: Warning Signs: Identifying Homers

Doesn't eat enough meat or eats excessive amounts of vegetables.
Lack of interest in sports.
Talented in art, music, etc...
Whines about sissy things like poverty, inequality, etc...