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The True Reason behind Elon Musk's and Jeff Bezos's "spaceships"
Everyone knows that the "Moon landings" were hoaxes, we also know that the "Mars rovers" are just wire-controlled toys filmed at a cheap studio. We need no further proof but atheist scum may, so here's a picture depicting one of the "Mars rover" finds, a statue of Elvis Presley that NASA allegedly found on "Mars". This will open everyone's eyes to the folly of "space exploration".
With that established, why would apprently intelligent men, such as Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk (both more than suspicious) continue "space exploration" with their rocket ships? What are they trying to attain? To uncover the hidden agendas, we must look at the real things that they are trying to reach. They are striving to conqeur the Firmament (Genesis 1:7), the dome on the other side of which God and Jesus dwell and expect us to join them any day now. To ascend these tens of miles, they are designing devious devices called "spaceships". However, they are stupid enough to reveal their abominable agenda with the unmistakable shape of their mechanical monsters. Here's Bezos's design:
And here's Musk's:
Verily, they look like dildos and that is no coincidence. In fact, they are dildos. What are these evil geniuses trying to do with the dildos, I ask you? It is possible that they are trying to anally rape mightly God and Great Jesus Christ with these anal attackers. By itself, this now proven scheme is disgusting. While Jesus had a nasty weekend on the cross, the possibility of anal rape by these falliform fuses far surpasses the sufferings of Sweet JC all those years ago. But it gets worse. Anal intercouse is strictly forbidden in God's bestselling masterpiece, the KJC Bible, as follows:
Romans 1:32
Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.
Those who taste the pleasures of anal buttsex need to die. This means that the scheme is a scheme of assassination, murdering God and His Sweet Baby Boy Jesus! Obviously, God and JC are above law and need not obey their own commands, but, picture this! It is not only plossibly but likely, i.e., certain, that these wanton weapons will reach the prostates of God and His pure, innocent son!
I have prayed and pondered and come to the conclusion that God's and Jesus's prostates and self-destruct buttons. One they're pushed, 2/3 of our Trinity will self-conbust. Satan will take over, which means compulsory sex-changes, oral sex, lubricant, and endless reruns of "The Brokeback Mountain" on cable TV.
Here's the prostate:
But! There is still more. The Musk "spaceship" is a weapon of massive destruction. Once airborne, its razor-sharp wings will deploy and open. They will hook unto the rectal lining of either God's of Jesus's exit passages and make it impossble for Them to expel this plug even with the strongest peristaltic movements of their fragrant bowsels imaginable. It is MAD, mutual assumed destruction of our Lords and Masters.
Who will protect us? It cannot be an intelligent person, as they are the ones behind this destructive design. It has to be someone of lesser intellect mentioned in the all-time manual of human existence, the KJV Bible:
Matthew 5:3
Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
The verse above talks about our President, Mr. Donald Trump. He might get some protective fire from the Holy Ghost who probably does not have a prostate. Of lesser intelligence he is the one man to find them, the one man to bring them (Bezos and Musk), and in the darkness bind them. Let us send him quite a lot of thoughts and prayers, our mightiest weapons. It is not too late. These barbaric bellends can still be stopped before launch!
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
With that established, why would apprently intelligent men, such as Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk (both more than suspicious) continue "space exploration" with their rocket ships? What are they trying to attain? To uncover the hidden agendas, we must look at the real things that they are trying to reach. They are striving to conqeur the Firmament (Genesis 1:7), the dome on the other side of which God and Jesus dwell and expect us to join them any day now. To ascend these tens of miles, they are designing devious devices called "spaceships". However, they are stupid enough to reveal their abominable agenda with the unmistakable shape of their mechanical monsters. Here's Bezos's design:
And here's Musk's:
Verily, they look like dildos and that is no coincidence. In fact, they are dildos. What are these evil geniuses trying to do with the dildos, I ask you? It is possible that they are trying to anally rape mightly God and Great Jesus Christ with these anal attackers. By itself, this now proven scheme is disgusting. While Jesus had a nasty weekend on the cross, the possibility of anal rape by these falliform fuses far surpasses the sufferings of Sweet JC all those years ago. But it gets worse. Anal intercouse is strictly forbidden in God's bestselling masterpiece, the KJC Bible, as follows:
Romans 1:32
Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.
Those who taste the pleasures of anal buttsex need to die. This means that the scheme is a scheme of assassination, murdering God and His Sweet Baby Boy Jesus! Obviously, God and JC are above law and need not obey their own commands, but, picture this! It is not only plossibly but likely, i.e., certain, that these wanton weapons will reach the prostates of God and His pure, innocent son!
I have prayed and pondered and come to the conclusion that God's and Jesus's prostates and self-destruct buttons. One they're pushed, 2/3 of our Trinity will self-conbust. Satan will take over, which means compulsory sex-changes, oral sex, lubricant, and endless reruns of "The Brokeback Mountain" on cable TV.
Here's the prostate:
But! There is still more. The Musk "spaceship" is a weapon of massive destruction. Once airborne, its razor-sharp wings will deploy and open. They will hook unto the rectal lining of either God's of Jesus's exit passages and make it impossble for Them to expel this plug even with the strongest peristaltic movements of their fragrant bowsels imaginable. It is MAD, mutual assumed destruction of our Lords and Masters.
Who will protect us? It cannot be an intelligent person, as they are the ones behind this destructive design. It has to be someone of lesser intellect mentioned in the all-time manual of human existence, the KJV Bible:
Matthew 5:3
Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
The verse above talks about our President, Mr. Donald Trump. He might get some protective fire from the Holy Ghost who probably does not have a prostate. Of lesser intelligence he is the one man to find them, the one man to bring them (Bezos and Musk), and in the darkness bind them. Let us send him quite a lot of thoughts and prayers, our mightiest weapons. It is not too late. These barbaric bellends can still be stopped before launch!
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
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