Jesus is my life partner

[godless-queer]

When I finally rid myself of my wicked homosexuality, I will be born again and I want to invite all of you right now to a special party...ok not really a party but a ceremony celebrating my new life with Christ. In this ceremony, I will make a commitment to spend the rest of my days hand in hand with Jesus. From that moment on Jesus will be my life partner. When I am Down, Jesus will console me. When I have a moral dilemma, Jesus will advise me. When I move, Jesus will pick out my new curtains. When I do the laundry, jesus will fold. When I do the dishes, Jesus will dry them. When I try on a new outfit, Jesus will tell me that I do NOT look fat and finally when we are walking on the beach Jesus will carry me so that there will be only one set of foot steps. I cant wait!

[Brother John]

Re: Jesus is my life partner

When I finally rid myself of my wicked homosexuality, I will be born again and I want to invite all of you right now to a special party...ok not really a party but a ceremony celebrating my new life with Christ. In this ceremony, I will make a commitment to spend the rest of my days hand in hand with Jesus. From that moment on Jesus will be my life partner. When I am Down, Jesus will console me. When I have a moral dilemma, Jesus will advise me. When I move, Jesus will pick out my new curtains. When I do the laundry, jesus will fold. When I do the dishes, Jesus will dry them. When I try on a new outfit, Jesus will tell me that I do NOT look fat and finally when we are walking on the beach Jesus will carry me so that there will be only one set of foot steps. I cant wait!

Jesus doesn't do women stuff, you blasphemer! 'All' Jesus will do is train you to be his soldier and to fight for His word. None of that nancy curtain picking or anything of the like!

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Jesus is my life partner

Now now, Brother John. Don't be too harsh with this filthy sodomite yet, not until we know if he's sincere in wanting to go from a Godless faggot to being an ex-gay basking in the Glory of Jesus' love or if he's yet another disgusting degenerate here to mock us.
Until the radiant masculinity of Christ penetrates his soul and bathes him in purification, he's going to keep saying perverse things.
I do wonder if he is sincere when I look at the name he's chosen. "Godless-queer" hardly seems like a moniker someone would take if they've really accepted Jesus into their heart. "Ex-Queer", maybe. Or "Formerly Nancy".
Tell us, GQ (it never before occurred to me that the magazine's initials stood for that, but it makes perfect sense), what version of the King James Bible do you read? Hardcover, softcover, big print version? What are your favorite passages? Did you have another man's baby maker inside you when you realized that what you were doing was horrifyingly unnatural, and did you feel God's hatred of you for choosing that freakish lifestyle?
I hope you are for real, and you're now feeling God's love for you giving it up and accepting His only begotten Son into you.

[godless-queer]

Re: Jesus is my life partner

Thank you Sissy Mary for you charitable Christian attitude regarding my heartfelt desire to turn from my wicked ways. As Im sure you know, my wretched lifestyle has been a choice and while I envy Ted Haggards ability to shake it so quickly, I am finding it more difficult. So if I "slip up" every now and then, I welcome correction and discpline from all of you.

Now now, Brother John. Don't be too harsh with this filthy sodomite yet, not until we know if he's sincere in wanting to go from a Godless faggot to being an ex-gay basking in the Glory of Jesus' love or if he's yet another disgusting degenerate here to mock us.
Until the radiant masculinity of Christ penetrates his soul and bathes him in purification, he's going to keep saying perverse things.
I long for Christ to bathe me in his purification
I do wonder if he is sincere when I look at the name he's chosen. "Godless-queer" hardly seems like a moniker someone would take if they've really accepted Jesus into their heart. "Ex-Queer", maybe. Or "Formerly Nancy".
I chose the name God-less -queer because until I am bathed in Christs glistening purification, I feel I need to be reminded of the worthless scum that I am
Tell us, GQ (it never before occurred to me that the magazine's initials stood for that, but it makes perfect sense), what version of the King James Bible do you read? Hardcover, softcover, big print version?
Naturally I prefer the big and hard version
What are your favorite passages?
Oh.... its all good girlfriend!
Did you have another man's baby maker inside you when you realized that what you were doing was horrifyingly unnatural,
No, actually I was giving my "friend" Roscoe a rusty trombone!
and did you feel God's hatred of you for choosing that freakish lifestyle?
I feel Gods hatred deep deep inside of me every day
I hope you are for real, and you're now feeling God's love for you giving it up and accepting His only begotten Son into you.

I havent accepted jesus into me yet. I dont feel Im worthy, I need to lubricate my soul with good works and pure thoughts before I can comfortably accpet his love inside of me

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Jesus is my life partner

Thank you Sissy Mary for you charitable Christian attitude regarding my heartfelt desire to turn from my wicked ways. As Im sure you know, my wretched lifestyle has been a choice and while I envy Ted Haggards ability to shake it so quickly, I am finding it more difficult. So if I "slip up" every now and then, I welcome correction and discpline from all of you.

I havent accepted jesus into me yet. I dont feel Im worthy, I need to lubricate my soul with good works and pure thoughts before I can comfortably accpet his love inside of me

It's Sister Mary Maria, or Sister M&M once people know me better. The only sissy around here is TwinkBoy, and I suspect he's on some bath house tour of America because we haven't been cursed with his presence for a while now.

No, actually I was giving my "friend" Roscoe a rusty trombone!

Never trust a musician. They are some of the worst sodomites around, outside of theater and hairstyling. It's good that you gave your "friend" (and nice use of quotes as no sodomite is ever a friend to anyone) a rusty trombone. If anything good comes from it, he may get an infection and die before AIDS or Gay Bowel Syndrome gets him.

[heroesforghosts]

Re: Jesus is my life partner

Being gay is nothing to be ashamed of. I find it really funny how ministers are so anti-gay yet they consider themselves "married to God". giggle giggle.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Jesus is my life partner

Being gay is nothing to be ashamed of. I find it really funny how ministers are so anti-gay yet they consider themselves "married to God". giggle giggle.

Listen up nancyboy: you are confusing us with the mary worshipers, who aren't even Christian. I know that I can speak for the other pastors here too when I assure you that none of us are "married to God". There is no such commandment in the Holy Bible, and if there were, we'd know about it, ok?

There are several mentions of what God thinks about you sissy boys in the Bible though. Are you familiar with any of those? Here's one for you:

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

[heroesforghosts]

Re: Jesus is my life partner

Listen up nancyboy: you are confusing us with the mary worshipers, who aren't even Christian. I know that I can speak for the other pastors here too when I assure you that none of us are "married to God". There is no such commandment in the Holy Bible, and if there were, we'd know about it, ok?

There are several mentions of what God thinks about you sissy boys in the Bible though. Are you familiar with any of those? Here's one for you:

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

except for the fact that i'm a girl...wh00t.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Jesus is my life partner

except for the fact that i'm a girl...wh00t.

Well that explains alot. Another empty-headed lezbean. Did you know that Jesis hates rug-munchers too?

Rom.1:26-27
For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature. And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.

[heroesforghosts]

Re: Jesus is my life partner

I never said I was gay...just because you support gay rights doesn't mean you are gay. you can't tell me you don't enjoy munching a rug once in a while. wink wink. and aren't you used to spelling Jesus' name right by now?

[Virginia Day Templeton]

Re: Jesus is my life partner

Why would someone who wasn't a sodomite ever support homo special privileges?

[heroesforghosts]

Re: Jesus is my life partner

Why would someone who wasn't a sodomite ever support homo special privileges?

because there is absolutly nothing wrong with being gay and they should be treated like regular human beings. BECAUSE THEY ARE. how would you feel if your right to marry was going to be voted on?

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Jesus is my life partner

Why would someone who wasn't a sodomite ever support homo special privileges?

Equal rights are not special privileges.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Jesus is my life partner

Equal rights are not special privileges.

There is nothing "equal" about filthy queers. Even the satan worshiping mudslimes hate them. Nowhere in the Bible can you find a verse commanding any sort of "rights" for sodomites. In fact God expressly condemns them, and tells us to kill them dead because they are abominations. Check the Book of Leviticus. Why would God want homers to get special rights when he orders their complete destruction?

As for queer "marriage", it would be a joke if it weren't so purely destructive to the Holy institution of matrimony (between a Man and a woman).

Get God or roast in hell, sickos.

[Miss Hikari]

Re: Jesus is my life partner

There is nothing "equal" about filthy queers. Even the satan worshiping mudslimes hate them. Nowhere in the Bible can you find a verse commanding any sort of "rights" for sodomites. In fact God expressly condemns them, and tells us to kill them dead because they are abominations. Check the Book of Leviticus. Why would God want homers to get special rights when he orders their complete destruction?

As for queer "marriage", it would be a joke if it weren't so purely destructive to the Holy institution of matrimony (between a Man and a woman).

Get God or roast in hell, sickos.

Don't be a bigot. And by the way, how very sneaky of you to edit my post like that... Dissing the pretty Gothic Lolitas.. Tsk, tsk.. If you were any sneakier, I'd suspect you of being a Godless gook like myself.