My ambition...

[Colin Cameron]

...to help me mend my ways.

Now that I have realised thanks to one of the Pastors that I am a faggot, i am addressing my horrible ways and thought that becoming a better Christian, reading the KJV Bible cover to cover and now had the notion to marry a Christian Lady and produce Soldiers of Christ.

So ladies, as you can read Im quite a catch and have lots of potential. Form an orderly que.

YIC

Colin

...to have 'Ex Gay' status.

I have come to realize that I am a recovering Homer and need to address this issue fast. Should I find myself a Christian Lady immediately and ensure that I produce Soldiers of Christ or should I give myself some more time before becoming available?

Please note as part of my recovery I have gone down to the local Gay Bar with a loudspeaker and microphone and read the KJV Bible at full blast to these who indulge in this sinful manner.

You advice and thoughts are welcome...

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: My ambition...

Get right with God! I can not remember you using any biblical verses to verify anything you have said. Prove to us you truly are trying to get right with the Lord. Don't concern yourself with friends or wives get yourself saved from an eternity as satan's favorite love toy. Satisfy the Lord before you try to satisfy your own desires.

[Nobar King]

Re: My ambition...

Que?

[James Hutchins]

Re: My ambition...

Colon, have you applied for enrollemnt in the B.A.S.H. program yet?

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Colin's realization that he is unsaved scum

I have come to realize that I am a recovering Homer and need to address this issue fast. Should I find myself a Christian Lady immediately and ensure that I produce Soldiers of Christ or should I give myself some more time before becoming available?

Unfortuantely yes, you must give yourself a good deal more time before trying to court a Christian lady (if one is ever even interested in you after your life of wicked Sodomite daisy chains).

There are serious physical and pschological disorders associated with being a fudgepacker.

Of course, the AIDS is the most serious. You'll need weekly HIV screening for at least the next year to make sure you have not contracted the gay death sentence. Your rectum will require an examination and biopsy to ensure that you will not need a permanent colostomy anytime soon.

Psychologists will run batteries of tests to guarantee that you do not backslide into backsides. Can you imagine the grief and horror of your poor Christian wife if she returned home and found you viciously raping the plumber (with his torso still under the kitchen sink) because you could not control yourself? Could you EVER be trusted with male children?

It's a long road to walk to recover from the sin of gayness, but a journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. We will be praying for you.

In Christ!

[Mrs. Rogers]

Re: My ambition...

So ladies, as you can read Im quite a catch and have lots of potential. Form an orderly que.

Que?

Indeed. Colin, if you are serious regarding cleansing yourself of all traces of poofiness, then you must desist using Romance languages when posting.

[Colin Cameron]

Re: My ambition...

Get right with God! I can not remember you using any biblical verses to verify anything you have said. Prove to us you truly are trying to get right with the Lord. Don't concern yourself with friends or wives get yourself saved from an eternity as satan's favorite love toy. Satisfy the Lord before you try to satisfy your own desires.

Thanks for your sound advice and I will ensure that I dont get distracted by queers and soccer players.

Colon, have you applied for enrollemnt in the B.A.S.H. program yet?

Not yet - I have been reading the KJV Bible every time a vision of David Beckham holding hands with the Indian from the Village People whilst playing 'keepy uppy' to cleanse my mind. I also slam my right testicle with my frotn door to remind me of Jesus' punishment for queers. Do you feel this is enough for now or should I 'raise my game' for Jesus?

Unfortuantely yes, you must give yourself a good deal more time before trying to court a Christian lady (if one is ever even interested in you after your life of wicked Sodomite daisy chains).

There are serious physical and pschological disorders associated with being a fudgepacker.

Of course, the AIDS is the most serious. You'll need weekly HIV screening for at least the next year to make sure you have not contracted the gay death sentence. Your rectum will require an examination and biopsy to ensure that you will not need a permanent colostomy anytime soon.

Psychologists will run batteries of tests to guarantee that you do not backslide into backsides. Can you imagine the grief and horror of your poor Christian wife if she returned home and found you viciously raping the plumber (with his torso still under the kitchen sink) because you could not control yourself? Could you EVER be trusted with male children?

It's a long road to walk to recover from the sin of gayness, but a journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. We will be praying for you.

In Christ!

Perhaps I should avoid having plumbers or any form of Tradesmen coming round my house to carry out repairs - just to be on the safeside.

Indeed. Colin, if you are serious regarding cleansing yourself of all traces of poofiness, then you must desist using Romance languages when posting.

Im so sorry Mrs Rogers, and I didnt mean any harm in posting. I know realize yet another error in my ways and will address this immediately. Will you pray for me?

p.s. I feel I need a project to undertake to avoid tempations of fags. I read the KJV Bible cover to cover all the time, but feel I should do something to help others. Any ideas?