MY HOMER DOG!!!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: MY HOMER DOG!!!

Shooting dogs is illegal unless they are a direct threat to your safety, and this is not a direct threat, How can you be the authorities, you are still part of America and the law still applies to you.

Please cite the legal section, paragraph and code that backs up your claim. Our team of high-priced joo lawyers thinks that you are bluffing.

[imback]

Re: MY HOMER DOG!!!

In Freehold, WE ARE the Authorities.
I'm not sure which part of the World you come from, but this kind of behavior is not tolerated here.

Shooting dogs is illegal unless they are a direct threat to your safety, and this is not a direct threat, How can you be the authorities, you are still part of America and the law still applies to you.

[Talitha]

Re: MY HOMER DOG!!!

You realise that most dogs hump or lick anything, including other dogs and genitals, and if you shoot that innocent dog I will alert P.E.T.A and the authorities

In Freehold, WE ARE the Authorities.
I'm not sure which part of the World you come from, but this kind of behavior is not tolerated here.

[imback]

Re: MY HOMER DOG!!!

I am terrified that my dog has become a homer... i first realized it this past weekend i had just gotten out of the shower and i sat down after i dried off right before i changed to check my email... and my dog came over and happened to try and lick my genetals. I was disgusted and i have no idea how to set him straight. Please give me some ideas on how to fix him

You realise that most dogs hump or lick anything, including other dogs and genitals, and if you shoot that innocent dog I will alert P.E.T.A and the authorities

[Deaner]

Re: MY HOMER DOG!!!

Were you naked when it tried to have relations with you? Then it's your own fault as well, homer! Shame!

That's what I was thinking, I wonder what he did to provoke it. Maybe he was dressed up in one of those little french poodle outfits and making seductive growling sounds; grrrring "come hither" in doggy talk. He certainly doesn't sound like an innocent bystander to me.

[eliot mayfield]

Re: MY HOMER DOG!!!

That's what you get for running around the house naked! You better do some serious thinking about Jesus and how you're going to get right with him!

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: MY HOMER DOG!!!

I am terrified that my dog has become a homer... i first realized it this past weekend i had just gotten out of the shower and i sat down after i dried off right before i changed to check my email... and my dog came over and happened to try and lick my genetals. I was disgusted and i have no idea how to set him straight. Please give me some ideas on how to fix him

Not knowing what sex you and your dog are leaves me wondering. But if you are both males, we will dispatch our Christian stoning patrol...

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

No matter what the scenario, I would start by cutting out the dog's tongue... (and cutting something of yours as well)

Mark 9:43 And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched . . . cont.

A very helpful, Glendora

PS You misspelled genitals, but I don't think Jesus wants to see such smut, so I will let it go this time.

[Mike Hunt]

Re: MY HOMER DOG!!!

I'll just bet there's a FAQ (Frequently Answered Questions) for this, or there sure needs to be. I've been here only a day and this is the second time I've heard someone ask how to fix their homo dog. Get this through your heads, people. You can't. It's broken. Get over it.

Well, I've thought about it since the last time I answered this question, and I think I have some additional help, which might be added to some future or existing FAQ.

First of all, you need to introduce your queer canine to a handful of bullets. The back of the head is best. If you aim just right, you won't need more than one or two. If it takes you more than five or twenty, you're going to need a few drop cloths. And maybe a blindfold.

After that, if you really loved your depraved and fallen homo beast, you might consider calling up a local taxidermist. You can have your stupid mutt stuffed and mounted and then you can fondly remember your dog as it should have been, as God meant him to be: straight.

If you can't get one to come 'round for a few days or weeks or even months (depending on where you live), you need to stuff your passed on pooch into your refrigerator or freezer, or it will start to smell, attact flies, weevils, maggots and other pestillence. So be forewarned. Forewarned is forearmed.

And if you eventually get sick of looking at the foul homer after it's been stuffed and begins to emit a foul stench (and believe me, you will), you can always toss him into a nearby dumpster.

Good riddence, you dead gay dog.

YIC, Brother Hunt

[Talitha]

Re: MY HOMER DOG!!!

I am terrified that my dog has become a homer... i first realized it this past weekend i had just gotten out of the shower and i sat down after i dried off right before i changed to check my email... and my dog came over and happened to try and lick my genetals. I was disgusted and i have no idea how to set him straight. Please give me some ideas on how to fix him

What do you think this is here? A Dog Clinic?
This is a True Christian(tm) Forum for True Christian(tm) people. We don't want to know about your darn Dog.
When you come back again, get yourself over to the Introduction Forum, tell us what you know about Jesus and the one TRUE Holy Bible (KJV1611) and maybe why Jesus brought you here.

Then kill the Dog.

[Sister Noddy]

Re: MY HOMER DOG!!!

I am terrified that my dog has become a homer ... i first realized it this past weekend i had just gotten out of the shower and i sat down after i dried off right before i changed to check my email... and my dog came over and happened to try and lick my genetals. I was disgusted and i have no idea how to set him straight. Please give me some ideas on how to fix him

Kill it, in cases like this euthanasia is really the only way!

Were you naked when it tried to have relations with you? Then it's your own fault as well, homer! Shame!

After it's safely dead, you'd better pray for your own soul and set up a tithing schedule with our GODLY Pastors, if you know what's good for you!

Shocked and dismayed! Sister Noddy

[Iminlovewith1979]

I am terrified that my dog has become a homer... i first realized it this past weekend i had just gotten out of the shower and i sat down after i dried off right before i changed to check my email... and my dog came over and happened to try and lick my genetals. I was disgusted and i have no idea how to set him straight. Please give me some ideas on how to fix him