[Dr Laurence Niles]

Really, one finger..? If that bothers you so much, turn gay and move to San Fransisco Lol.

Moving house is really stressful

Asking someone in spiritual torment to go through the stress of moving house is callous, in the extreme

You and your kind make me want to vomit! You contribute nothing to Christianity!! Shame on you!!!

All the best.
Posted via Mobile Device

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

Really, one finger..? If that bothers you so much, turn gay and move to San Fransisco Lol.

So, what part of that is funny to you? Being a Hellbound queer or the existence of a city named after a fake Catholic saint?

[Tyler the witch]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

I was low on toilet paper, so I didn't use the normal safety barrier of half a roll. A roll per session is my general rule, but I didn't have a full roll left.
Well, it happened. My finger went through the paper and I touched myself down there, actually it was more than just a touch. I think my finger went in a little.
Does this make me a homosexual?

Actually, I think you'll have to snip it off if you want to be safe. Better a moment of pain than an eternity of torment.. Doesn't say anything about snipping just the finger though. Might want some guidance on whether or not you should do the whole hand?


1 John 1-9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.


Matthew 5-30 And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

[Danish Crusader]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

You might consider flagellantism to show dependence of this incident.
If you have a wife ore a daughter whom you can blame for not supplying your toilet with the needed amount of paper, they should also be severely punished.

[Danish Crusader]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

*repentance

[Didymus Much]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

You might consider flagellantism...

It's flagellation, and where in the Bible did you find support for it?

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

Women, effectively have two anuses, have twice the risk as men. They need additional support, perhaps with hidden recording devices and websites dedicated to monitoring women's bathrooms.

[LW1997 (On Moderation)]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

I do not use toilet paper at all. Our ancestors who loved up to 4,000 years ago did not have it and we do not need it either.

You might consider flagellantism to show dependence of this incident.
If you have a wife ore a daughter whom you can blame for not supplying your toilet with the needed amount of paper, they should also be severely punished.

Women are not supposed to defecate at all. (Non-whites by the way don't defecate either. Otherwise they were white.)

[upchucker67]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

Women deficate all the time when they open mouth and move their lips. Sometimes I feel like wrapping Mrs. Hucker's mouth in toilet paper.

[Phil Ander]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

Women deficate all the time when they open mouth and move their lips. Sometimes I feel like wrapping Mrs. Hucker's mouth in toilet paper.

I think you may have misidentified some of your wife's anatomy. There are some basic online tutorials to help sort out these sort of issues. Were you home schooled? Usually a good thing, but not always.


Phil

[Isabella White]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

Women deficate all the time when they open mouth and move their lips. Sometimes I feel like wrapping Mrs. Hucker's mouth in toilet paper.

Mr. Huckster! For once, I am (almost) at a loss for words. It might be true that your wife is not the best cook in the world (according to certain things that you have said), but you have shown a great deal of disrespect to her here, and to women in general -- including those of us who are dedicated, devoted, loyal, caring members of !

Rather than getting myself in a dither, I think it is best that Almighty explain a few things to you, through :
Proverbs 16:28 "A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends."

Ephesians 4:29 "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers."

Exodus 23:1 "Thou shalt not raise a false report: put not thine hand with the wicked to be an unrighteous witness."

Please pay close attention:

Proverbs 31:10-13:
10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

Really, Mr. Huckster, it is of little wonder as to why the dear gave you those boils! I should think very carefully, if I were you, before uttering more nonsense -- and incurring more of wrath!

II Chronicles 21:18: "And after all this the Lord smote him in his bowels with an incurable disease."

[upchucker67]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

[

I think you may have misidentified some of your wife's anatomy. There are some basic online tutorials to help sort out these sort of issues. Were you home schooled? Usually a good thing, but not always.


Phil

To fill you in, Phil, I was reading an article in Reader's Digestive that the human lips and anal sphincter are made from the same rubbery, puckered tissue. I'm not sure if the Bible mentions this, but I am keeping my eyes peeled. Maybe it will crop up in my journey with Jesus.

II Chronicles 21:18: "And after all this the Lord smote him in his bowels with an incurable disease."

I certainly hope not. I don't want further indigestible bouts cropping up und my podcast.


Sent by my BlackBerry.

[upchucker67]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

Nay, I go a step further to say that my wife suffers from incredibly spicy breath, I wish she'd keep it closed. I cannot understand why her breath is like this. In our early foolish days of courtship, she was the center of a bukkake with me and some pals, and we were all left tending our members with aloe vera after experiencing scorching pains. I never understood this until I read this verse.

James 3:6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.


We together in Christ are seeking to repent of this sordid chapter. I fear she may still have demons housing in her digestive tube.

[upchucker67]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

The only plausible manner is through a homerman who inserts his tallywacker first into another man's anus and then penetrates his woman in the only manner he knows, by sodomy.

To be honest Zeke, I'm not sure which hole is which. I enter through her ***pornographic imagery removed by JesOS*** come from.

[upchucker67]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

Anyway I thought it was all one big digestive, baby-making track. I don't think too hard on these things. She's making pie right now, I don't want to bug her over it.