[Bible Student]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

I was low on toilet paper, so I didn't use the normal safety barrier of half a roll. A roll per session is my general rule, but I didn't have a full roll left.
Well, it happened. My finger went through the paper and I touched myself down there, actually it was more than just a touch. I think my finger went in a little.
Does this make me a homosexual?

You do use your left hand when wiping, do you not?

[eliot mayfield]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

You do use your left hand when wiping, do you not?

I thought using your left hand was Satanic.

[Dan U. Holier]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

You do use your left hand when wiping, do you not?

I thought using your left hand was Satanic.

Mr. Mayfield, forgive me for my far less than perfect grasp of American (after all I’m only a honorary Real American™), but if I got this one right, then it would be as well pretty kinky to use his hand for wiping your behind, wouldn't it?

YiC, DUH.

[eliot mayfield]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

Mr. Mayfield, forgive me for my far less than perfect grasp of American (after all I’m only a honorary Real American™), but if I got this one right, then it would be as well pretty kinky to use his hand for wiping your behind, wouldn't it?

YiC, DUH.

I meant one's own left hand!

[Dan U. Holier]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

I meant one's own left hand!

What else can I say but that I share your concern, Mr. Mayfield.

YiC, D.U.H.

P.S.: a concern about your potential homersexuality, not mine!

P.P.S.: FYI, I never touched anyone’s deprived, Godless part of body… except in the case of healing of colonic demons, of course!

[Bible Student]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

Originally Posted by Bible Student
You do use your left hand when wiping, do you not?

I thought using your left hand was Satanic.

Not exactly. It is true we have this verse:

Matthew 6:3 -- But when thou doest almes, let not thy left hand know, what thy right doeth:

But then that is offset by the formula given to the priests of the Old Testament:

Leviticus 14:15-17 -- And the Priest shall take some of the log of oile, and powre it into the palme of his owne left hand: And the Priest shall dip his right finger in the oile that is in his left hand, and shall sprinckle of the oile with his finger, seuen times before the Lord. And of the rest of the oile that is in his hand, shall the Priest put vpon the tip of the right eare of him that is to be cleansed, and vpon the thumbe of his right hande, and vpon the great toe of his right foot, vpon the blood of the trespasse offering.

The left hand was used in those days for cleaning one's privates and for ablutions after using the toilet. For that reason it was considered to be fouler and more sinister. It was the lesser of two evils. God didn't want people switching back and forth between hands.

[The Anti-Sinner]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

I was low on toilet paper, so I didn't use the normal safety barrier of half a roll. A roll per session is my general rule, but I didn't have a full roll left.
Well, it happened. My finger went through the paper and I touched myself down there, actually it was more than just a touch. I think my finger went in a little.
Does this make me a homosexual?

It's possible. I only say this because you may have subconsciously allowed your finger to enter your anus. Somewhere deep beneath the layers of your conscious mind, you may have wanted it to happen so badly that you ended up fulfilling some secret fantasy of yours that you never knew you even had.

Oh Eliot... hopefully it was just an honest mistake. You'll be in my prayers tonight I'll make it extra long for you.

So... it's really hard for me to admit this, but maybe it will help you feel a bit better about your situation. I... oh man..... I.... have had some homosexual thoughts and feelings in the past. This is sooo hard to say... Sometimes, without thinking about it, I'll do or say something that straddles the line between homosexuality and not being a dirty homosexual sicko. For example, sometimes when I am trying to explain something and I use a word like hard or large, I will tend to keep using words like it, such as big and huge. I don't consciously mean to. But it's still a sin none the less.

Hopefully you don't have the same big disgusting problem that I do. Maybe you can include me in your prayers one of these nights as well. I would so hugely appreciate that, but you don't have to of course. Anyhow, it's good to talk about these things. The fact that you were strong enough to talk about what you did to yourself on the toilet, tells me that you are a brave and good man deep down inside. And I am sure that God can see just how big and brave you are to talk about such a huge personally issue.

[Purest Heart]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

If something as silly as a toilet paper made you doubt your sexuality , then that simply proves YOU ARE GAY!

[eliot mayfield]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

If something as silly as a toilet paper made you doubt your sexuality , then that simply proves YOU ARE GAY!

I've been happy today, yes. Jesus is in my heart.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

Don't tell me you've still not chopped off that finger!

[eliot mayfield]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

Don't tell me you've still not chopped off that finger!

HEY! I wrapped it in duct tape and if Jesus wanted it gone, it would have fell off! Instead he sprained my ankle. Just this week I have been able to walk without a cane.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

I think it's time for an update here.

Eliot has been conspicuous in his absence. I hope it's not the AIDS.

[Titus Templeton]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

I pray that He is fine.

[Derp is here]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

Really, one finger..? If that bothers you so much, turn gay and move to San Fransisco Lol.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: my finger went through the toilet paper, am I gay?

Really, one finger..? If that bothers you so much, turn gay and move to San Fransisco Lol.

Well that's about the worst advice I can imagine.

The rent in San Fransisco is outrageously high!