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Fellow Christians I'm sure that you, like me, have from time to time gotten into discussions with our neighbors about some of the more salient issues in the Bible (KJV1611). One of the things that have come up more than a few times recently is the issue of homers moving in to our neighborhood. Some of my neighbors argue that what ever can be said about the homers, the fact is that when they move in the property values go up. They come in and meticulously restore those decrepit old classic Victorians ("Painted Ladies"), Colonials, Bungalows, Georgians, and Tudors. They tear out perfectly good Scott Turf Builder lawns that took years to get crab grass free and put in excessive amounts of ground cover and landscaping.
In the midst of all this, has anyone ever wondered if Bob Vila was gay, and has anyone ever seen his wife? We all know that Norm Abrams didn't pay for that $30,000 wide belt sander himself (hint: probably given to him by his rich gay lover). I've watched some of those old shows and you can't miss Bob and Norm working them selves into a sexual frenzy using code words like "biscuits", "joinery", "dowel rods", "knobs", and "planing". The fact of the matter is that these two have single handedly served to destroy American values by diverting attention away from Jesus, Bible (KJV1611) study, and Church going. They have inspired and enabled the homers, destroyed the serviceable American Ranch home, and sent the homers buying up property all over America.
I don't need to quote scripture here to tell you what God has planned for the homers unless they repent. We have recent examples of what happened in New Orleans with Katrina, and San Francisco had one warning with a devastating earth quake early in the last century. Indeed, we have wasted millions with the "scientists" studying when the next San Francisco earth quake is coming – yet we all know that it is, it's in the Bible (KJV1611).
We all know that the big cities in America are cesspools of sin and depravity, and the homers are legion in their population. Homers are now branching out, and it is time we all become aware of this. I'm sure every Christian would like to avoid any collateral damage when God's Wrath finally arrives. Here is a guide that will help Christians avoid the inevitable.
In the midst of all this, has anyone ever wondered if Bob Vila was gay, and has anyone ever seen his wife? We all know that Norm Abrams didn't pay for that $30,000 wide belt sander himself (hint: probably given to him by his rich gay lover). I've watched some of those old shows and you can't miss Bob and Norm working them selves into a sexual frenzy using code words like "biscuits", "joinery", "dowel rods", "knobs", and "planing". The fact of the matter is that these two have single handedly served to destroy American values by diverting attention away from Jesus, Bible (KJV1611) study, and Church going. They have inspired and enabled the homers, destroyed the serviceable American Ranch home, and sent the homers buying up property all over America.
I don't need to quote scripture here to tell you what God has planned for the homers unless they repent. We have recent examples of what happened in New Orleans with Katrina, and San Francisco had one warning with a devastating earth quake early in the last century. Indeed, we have wasted millions with the "scientists" studying when the next San Francisco earth quake is coming – yet we all know that it is, it's in the Bible (KJV1611).
We all know that the big cities in America are cesspools of sin and depravity, and the homers are legion in their population. Homers are now branching out, and it is time we all become aware of this. I'm sure every Christian would like to avoid any collateral damage when God's Wrath finally arrives. Here is a guide that will help Christians avoid the inevitable.
Gayest Cities in America, 2012
It’s no secret that megalopolises New York City, Chicago, and Los Angeles have robust LGBT life — and we’ve even heard tell of little queer hoods like the Castro and P-Town. This isn’t that list.
By Matthew Breen
There’s the official census with information on same-sex couples as a percentage of the population, then there’s our accounting of the gayest places in the USA — and we know the twain shan’t meet. But do we really need another article telling us that the homos gather in West Hollywood and Hell’s Kitchen? That Northampton, Mass., is still Lesbianville, USA? (Don’t get us wrong, we love those places.) Instead, in our third annual accounting of the gayest places in America — according to our totally accurate if decidedly subjective criteria — we look at the per capita queerness of some less expected locales.
1. Salt Lake City
2. Orlando, Fla.
3. Cambridge, Mass.
4. Fort Lauderdale, Fla.
5. Seattle
6. Ann Arbor, Mich.
7. St. Paul and Minneapolis
8. Knoxville, Tenn.
9. Atlanta
10. Grand Rapids, Mich.
11. Little Rock, Ark.
12. Portland, Ore.
13. Austin
14. Long Beach, Calif.
15. Denver
It’s no secret that megalopolises New York City, Chicago, and Los Angeles have robust LGBT life — and we’ve even heard tell of little queer hoods like the Castro and P-Town. This isn’t that list.
By Matthew Breen
There’s the official census with information on same-sex couples as a percentage of the population, then there’s our accounting of the gayest places in the USA — and we know the twain shan’t meet. But do we really need another article telling us that the homos gather in West Hollywood and Hell’s Kitchen? That Northampton, Mass., is still Lesbianville, USA? (Don’t get us wrong, we love those places.) Instead, in our third annual accounting of the gayest places in America — according to our totally accurate if decidedly subjective criteria — we look at the per capita queerness of some less expected locales.
1. Salt Lake City
2. Orlando, Fla.
3. Cambridge, Mass.
4. Fort Lauderdale, Fla.
5. Seattle
6. Ann Arbor, Mich.
7. St. Paul and Minneapolis
8. Knoxville, Tenn.
9. Atlanta
10. Grand Rapids, Mich.
11. Little Rock, Ark.
12. Portland, Ore.
13. Austin
14. Long Beach, Calif.
15. Denver
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