I contacted rabies, doc says I'm homophobic

[Q.Ponce Frottage]

I was visiting my Cousin Gertie in the back bush of the Gatineau when I went out to the jerry in the middle of a night and a crazy raccoon was hiding in the hole and jumped up and bit me on the wangdoodle! It hurt like Jezebel and I was immediately rushed to the hospital where I put under emergency watch for rabies. The doctor told me I was homophobic which apparently is a symptom of rabies. He was clearly a fag since he wears a jewelled earring and spiked his hair with bleach tips, and said I was getting aggressive when he tried examining me and that resisting him won't be tolerated. It's really awful! I keep puking and passing out, and there's all this sticky white stuff on my lips when I come to!
I need emergency help! I might not survive and I'm trapped here with a gay doctor who may be giving me too much morphine.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

You do seem rather unfortunate, Ponce.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Ask around to see if there is a Baptist pastor who could help you.

[Q.Ponce Frottage]

You do seem rather unfortunate, Ponce.

I live in Canada where misfortune is status quo. Our universal healthcare system is a joke. They'll just let any homer put on a lab coat and play doctor. I wish I had an esteemed American doctor like you to examine and me and get me through my rabid malaise.

[MitzaLizalor]

Foaming at the mouth is often seen in rabies cases. It is also a result of demonic possession – but the two are not the same, necessarily, other than a demoniac getting rabies (or vice versa) at the same time.

Mark 9:20 And they brought him unto him: and when he saw him, straightway the spirit tare him; and he fell on the ground, and wallowed foaming.

Perhaps when you come to you could ask the doctor if you had wallowed?

[Q.Ponce Frottage]

Could the raccoon been a demon!?? Oh the morphines getting to me...

[MitzaLizalor]

very likely

pigs can get demons

[Q.Ponce Frottage]

pigs can get demons

And that's how they fly

[MitzaLizalor]

An interesting question. Legion, an avatar of Beelzebub who in turn is something like an ectoplasm of Satan, the less said about which the better, entered into pigs.


Luke 8:33 Then went the devils out of the man, and entered into the swine: and the herd ran violently down a steep place into the lake, and were choked.


Here is a picture of the Sea of Galilee. Note the cliffs. I've added two specimen trajectories for demon possessed swine.



PIG 1 > hot pink arrow > having limited speed, goes over the edge hoof upon snout tumbling into the lake: real rough.
PIG 2 > cinnabar arrow > greater speed carries the pig well airborne, aka flying, as it launches into the water.

So at some stage, all the pigs would fly. Luke, being a physician, adds this detail:

THE PIGS CHOKED.

Mouth foaming in extreme cases will cause choking. Demons cause foaming. Have you at any time, in the care of your doctor, experienced a choking sensation? So that's two questions: has your doctor recorded wallowing? and (two) have you any recollection of choking?

In Christ.