Hello...I'm pretending to be a woman

[JoyceSunnyHolmsberg]

Hello, my name is Joyce and I am a new Christian from a non Christian family. I have only just started my walk with God in my school's Children of Christ club. My father has allowed me to post on this website yesterday, but he told me not to spend too much time. I am single and available so I have no husband. I hope you all welcome me.

[Truenamer]

Re: Hello...

Welcome to the forum! I hope you like it here!

If you ever feel this forum to be too extreme, here is an alternative: *** child porn link removed ***

[Pim Pendergast]

Re: Hello...

Welcome, Joyce! What your favorite Bible verse? Where do you go to church? Have you asked your father to find you a husband yet?

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hello...

Hello Joyce,

If you're from a non-Christian family, I imagine it must have been hard to get your father's permission to post here.

Regarding his astonishment to not spend too much time on this site, I would encourage you to ignore his wishes. As a non-Christian, he is hardly a fit parent. It's almost as if you have no father at all.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Hello...

Hello, my name is Joyce and I am a new Christian from a non Christian family. I have only just started my walk with God in my school's Children of Christ club. My father has allowed me to post on this website yesterday, but he told me not to spend too much time. I am single and available so I have no husband. I hope you all welcome me.

Welcome to God's favourite forum!

I'm very happy to see a young person eager to learn the message of conditional love that Jesus has for all to follow Him.

I'm a little concerned about you advertising your status as a single yougthful female, however.

It is not unknown for souless atheisticals to troll our friendly forums and tell lies to niave young persons such as yourself about God and the Bible(KJV1611). They think nothing about trampling rough shod over our most cherished beliefs

But rejoice because Jesus knew all about such things and gave us the BIble(KJV1611) to show us the way.

Matthew 5:10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Matthew 5:11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
Matthew 5:44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
Matthew 10:22 And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved.
Matthew 24:9 Then shall they deliver you up to be afflicted, and shall kill you: and ye shall be hated of all nations for my name's sake.
Luke 21:17 And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake.
Romans 12:14 Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not.
1 Corinthians 4:12 And labour, working with our own hands: being reviled, we bless; being persecuted, we suffer it:
Luke 6:22 Blessed are ye, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shall reproach you, and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of man's sake.

It is sad that your parents are Godless sinners but if you are true to the Words of Christ you will be in Heaven laughing at them for all eternity.

Psalm 2:4 He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: the Lord shall have them in derision

You will need to find a Christian husband soon, however as the road to Heaven for a woman is childbirth.

1 Timothy 2:15 Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.

What country do you live in? My house (which I own) and my private practice is located in God's own country.

YIC

[JoyceSunnyHolmsberg]

Re: Hello...

Thank you for responding to my message... I hope I can learn more here as well.

Should I really ignore my father? I love him however... Please advise.

I also just receive a message from an administrator telling me to "Watch it, Holmberg" but my name is not Holmberg. Did I do something wrong? Please advise please... Thank you.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Hello...

Thank you for responding to my message... I hope I can learn more here as well.

Should I really ignore my father? I love him however... Please advise.

I also just receive a message from an administrator telling me to "Watch it, Holmberg" but my name is not Holmberg. Did I do something wrong? Please advise please... Thank you.

It is quite possible that that the hateful and mawkish Holmberg has co opted your IP to masquerade as a decent young Christian woman on the Inter Nets

I'm sure that if you update your virus software Holmberg will never be heard of again.

That would be the best because frankly Holmberg was a hatefuelled Godmocking douche

YIC

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hello...

I beg to differ; Holmberg never had the smarts to hack somebody's computer. He was subhuman, and will burn in Hell. That's something he has in common with poor Joyce's father.

Joyce, you need to get away from that man. The Bible says you can't follow Jesus unless you hate your family.

[JoyceSunnyHolmsberg]

Re: Hello...

To the good Mr. Zechariah Smyth,

I really don't know how to use private messaging so I will just post it here. I promise you, from the bottom of my heart and in the name of the Lord, that I am not this Holmsberg person. I don't even know who he is, though from what my brothers have said here, he must have done something terrible. But I am not him, please believe me.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hello...

To the good Mr. Zechariah Smyth,

I really don't know how to use private messaging so I will just post it here. I promise you, from the bottom of my heart and in the name of the Lord, that I am not this Holmsberg person. I don't even know who he is, though from what my brothers have said here, he must have done something terrible. But I am not him, please believe me.

I might be persuaded to believe you, Joyce, and I suspect I can "go to bat for you" and hopefully convince brother Zechariah to keep an open mind about you.

I would, of course, need to discuss some things in private with you before I extend myself in this way.

Kindly send me a personal message so we can discuss further how I'm going to help you.

[JoyceSunnyHolmsberg]

Re: Hello...

I beg to differ; Holmberg never had the smarts to hack somebody's computer. He was subhuman, and will burn in Hell. That's something he has in common with poor Joyce's father.

Joyce, you need to get away from that man. The Bible says you can't follow Jesus unless you hate your family.

Thank you for your good intentions Mr. Faith Machine, but I will continue trying to convert my father and mother! They are good people and I believe they will eventually accept Christ into their lives as well, I will believe that!

[JoyceSunnyHolmsberg]

Re: Hello...

I might be persuaded to believe you, Joyce, and I suspect I can "go to bat for you" and hopefully convince brother Zechariah to keep an open mind about you.

I would, of course, need to discuss some things in private with you before I extend myself in this way.

Kindly send me a personal message so we can discuss further how I'm going to help you.

Please believe me Sir, I am not Holmsberg, and I will send you a private message but I do not know how to. Can you guide me please, good sir? I really sincerely wish to find a lovely Christian community to pray with and I would be so sad if there were such misunderstandings. Thank you...

[JoyceSunnyHolmsberg]

Re: Hello...

I am truly sorry... I will not ask about the PM issue again... It was selfish of me to keep asking, please forgive me...

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hello...

Oh Heavens, I forgot that I've been blocked from sending or receiving personal messages on here, due to a small misunderstanding which I've been meaning to clear up.

Sorry about that.

Now then, where were we?

Oh yes, I believe we were talking about Jesus, and how better to know Him.

Have you read the entire Bible yet? If not, what chapter are you up to?

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Hello...

I have only just started my walk with God in my school's Children of Christ club.

Hello Ms Sunny/Holmberg/whoever you really are, and welcome.

According to your profile you are 24 years old - yet you are still at school. Do you have some form of mental retardation?

Also, I thought the Children of Christ was some LDS thing. Are you in fact a Moron, in which case why are you here?