Hey there, I can count to potato!

[JustARetard]

I've made a few posts, got a few infractions and figured I might as well stop by and introduce myself.
My name is Dave and my church is Lakewood Church. http://www.lakewoodchurch.com/Pages/Home.aspx
I used to hold Bible study as a child with the other children in the apartment complex and I would baptise them in the swimming pool. I tied their hands together and tied bricks to their feet to make sure they stayed down until they were really, really cleansed.
Matthew 1:1 (1611 King James Bible)
The booke of the generation of Iesus Christ, the sonne of Dauid, the sonne of Abraham.

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Hey there.

My name is Dave and my church is Lakewood Church.

Welcome Dave.
If I were you, I would be changing churches.
1Corinthians 14:34 Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.
Women are not fit to be pastors

[JustARetard]

Re: Hey there.

Welcome Dave.
If I were you, I would be changing churches.
1Corinthians 14:34 Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.
Women are not fit to be pastors

I agree 100%. It is only a temporary church. I was attending the First Primitive Baptist Church in Dallashttp://primitivebaptist.info/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1378&Ite mid=67 but I've had to relocate for a little while. Hopefully I'll be home soon.

[JustARetard]

Re: Hey there.

Sorry about the sloopy posting of the link. http://primitivebaptist.info/index.p...1378&Itemid=67

[Witch Hammer]

Re: Hey there.

I agree 100%. It is only a temporary church. I was attending the First Primitive Baptist Church in Dallashttp://primitivebaptist.info/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1378&Ite mid=67 but I've had to relocate for a little while. Hopefully I'll be home soon.

Foul pornographic link!!
Do you think REAL Baptists would engage in sodomy with an inflatable rubber effigy of Charles Darwin? You sicken me!!

[JustARetard]

Re: Hey there.

...and apparently I can't spell "sloppy" either. Here's a little piece of information I borrowed from the link I posted just to shed a little light in case you're not familiar with Primitive Baptist..actually you could be Primitive Baptist yourselves...

Question: What is the Primitive Baptist view of the scriptures?
Primitive Baptists view scriptures as the divinely inspired word of God and as the sole rule of faith and practice for the church. It is also believed that the scriptures have been divinely preserved over the ages, and that the 1611 King James version is the superior English translation of the scriptures.

[Witch Hammer]

Re: Hey there.

...and apparently I can't spell "sloppy" either. Here's a little piece of information I borrowed from the link I posted just to shed a little light in case you're not familiar with Primitive Baptist..actually you could be Primitive Baptist yourselves...

Question: What is the Primitive Baptist view of the scriptures?
Primitive Baptists view scriptures as the divinely inspired word of God and as the sole rule of faith and practice for the church. It is also believed that the scriptures have been divinely preserved over the ages, and that the 1611 King James version is the superior English translation of the scriptures.

Your schtick is intolerable, demon.

[JustARetard]

Re: Hey there.

I lived in Kansas for a little while and attended Westboro Baptist Church while I was there. http://godhatesfags.com/

Nice place.

[JustARetard]

Re: Hey there.

Your schtick is intolerable, demon.

Witch Hummer, I'm not sure why you refer to me as "demon" but I forgive you.
Matthew 5:39 King James Version (KJV)
But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.
Glory.

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Hey there.

Sorry about the sloopy posting of the link. http://primitivebaptist.info/index.p...1378&Itemid=67

I'm not sure about that one either. There is a disgusting picture on that web pages. Ladies, and those of weaker disposition, please close your eyes now:



Now they apparently, are the deacons. Turn your eyes to the abomination in the bottom left of that picture.
Leviticus 21:18-21 18 For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous, 19 Or a man that is brokenfooted, or brokenhanded, 20 Or crookbackt, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken; 21 No man that hath a blemish of the seed of Aaron the priest shall come nigh to offer the offerings of the Lord made by fire: he hath a blemish; he shall not come nigh to offer the bread of his God.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Hey there.

Witch Hummer, I'm not sure why you refer to me as "demon" but I forgive you.
Matthew 5:39 King James Version (KJV)
But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.
Glory.

Witch Hummer? Really?



Strike 2, kid.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Hey there.

Welcome. I pray that you spend more time here and learning more. Read and obey all the commands in the KJV 1611 Bible. Yours in Christ, Elizabeth

[JustARetard]

Re: Hey there.

Welcome. I pray that you spend more time here and learning more. Read and obey all the commands in the KJV 1611 Bible. Yours in Christ, Elizabeth

You know. I'm sure I'm about to be banned from here if I'm not already but I just want to say..I've ready through several introduction threads and random other threads on here and you are the only one I've seen that is actually polite to people on here. The others could learn from you.

[Didymus Much]

Re: Hey there, I can count to potato!

Where's the light switch in here?

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Hey there, I can count to potato!

I've made a few posts, got a few infractions and figured I might as well stop by and introduce myself.
My name is Dave and my church is Lakewood Church. http://www.lakewoodchurch.com/Pages/Home.aspx
I used to hold Bible study as a child with the other children in the apartment complex and I would baptise them in the swimming pool. I tied their hands together and tied bricks to their feet to make sure they stayed down until they were really, really cleansed.
Matthew 1:1 (1611 King James Bible)
The booke of the generation of Iesus Christ, the sonne of Dauid, the sonne of Abraham.

Hi Dave,

As a life coach for Jesus, I would have to say that you've probably been watching a bit too many of those pick up artist (PUA) videos on YouTube. Those might be some funny lines you use to pick up women at Church ice cream socials where you live, but they will get you nowhere with the Ladies of Landover.

Indeed, the Holy Spirit sent you here to pick up Jesus - and starting out with your favorite Bible (KJV1611) verses would be a good first start to demonstrate your love for Jesus.