[Imbecilic queerboy (On Moderation)]

Re: Let me show my ignorance of Scripture.

Enthusiasm. Alright, I think I can do that. So what do I do to be enthusiastic?

[Jim Farmer]

Re: Let me show my ignorance of Scripture.

And read His Word!

[Imbecilic queerboy (On Moderation)]

Re: Let me show my ignorance of Scripture.

And it has to be KJV?

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Let me show my ignorance of Scripture.

Well, why do you want to be Saved, dear?

[Imbecilic queerboy (On Moderation)]

Re: Let me show my ignorance of Scripture.

Because on second thought, hell sounds pretty bad. And I heard Satan's a rapist.

[Witch Hammer]

Re: Let me show my ignorance of Scripture.

Enthusiasm. Alright, I think I can do that. So what do I do to be enthusiastic?

Do you really need a pep rally, sinner? Read the Bible cover and GET PUMPED!!
Jesus, Jesus, Son of Man! You can't do it, Jesus can! Woot!!

[Didymus Much]

Re: Let me show my ignorance of Scripture.

Fine. What do I have to do to be saved?

Yeah, it would be really handy if they had a thread called something like, "How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost!", and they could make it a "Sticky" thread so it always appears at the top of the list in the Introduction forum (which is what you're reading right now), and just to make sure that people didn't miss it, they could put instructions in the welcoming email they send to all new registrants to read all of the sticky threads before you make your first post here (in order to avoid any embarrassing missteps).

Wait, they already did do all that.

[Marko Loimaan-Aho]

Re: Let me show my ignorance of Scripture.

BAN ME. Aren't you allowed to ban someone you consider a heathen?

I know this type. When I was in the army we had a guy there who begged to be hit, insulted and beaten.

This is kind of perversion.

Does not work here, boy. You are now among Good People (Try to get used to it.) who are on their way to HEAVEN. PRAISE LORD, HALLELUJAH!!!

John 5:28-29
Acts 10:34-35

[Walter Van Slyke]

Re: Let me show my ignorance of Scripture.

I don't believe everything in the Bible in the first place. Correction, I don't believe most of Genesis.

Then what, my friend, is the basis for what you believe? Do you just make it up as you go? Did you create your own personal god who tells you want you want to hear? When someone talks about religion, do you flip a coin and say "Heads I believe that, tails I don't."?

I know you don't believe in the Bible, but this Scripture seems to have been written especially for you.

Luke 6:47-49
47 Everyone who comes to Me and hears My words and acts on them, I will show you whom he is like:
48 he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid a foundation on the rock; and when a flood occurred, the torrent burst against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built.
49 But the one who has heard and has not acted accordingly, is like a man who built a house on the ground without any foundation; and the torrent burst against it and immediately it collapsed, and the ruin of that house was great.

Your house is build on sand, my friend. It will not save you from the coming deluge. Read God's Holy Word, believe it, and repent. Otherwise, you will burn in Hell with the rest of your cherry-picking, fluffy bunny faux-Christian brethren.

Humbly,

Wally

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Let me show my ignorance of Scripture.

Fine. What do I have to do to be saved?

There is only one way and one road that leads to a Heavenly reward. That is through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. You must renounce sin, follow God's laws, as specified in the Bible and accept Jesus as your personal savior. In this manner alone may you find salvation and avoid the searing flames of perdition.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Let me show my ignorance of Scripture.

Hello everybody, my name is Mitch, and I'm... tl;dr..... Clap clap clap.

I am sorry to hear you have the 'clap'.
Perhaps if you spent less time thinking about yourself and more time on your knees servicing God, that would not of happened.

[Dolores de Barriga]

Re: Let me show my ignorance of Scripture.

Nice try, but yes, I believe in Jesus' birth, and the miracle of His conception.

Interesting. So, according to your own logic, some of God's miracles (such as conception without penetration) are more believable than other His miracles (flood, tower of Babel)? May I ask, on what basis do you chose one logically impossible thing to be believable when you reject some others?

Please note that I'm not trying to ridicule your position, I just want to understand it.

Fine. What do I have to do to be saved?

I'm not a good example to follow (struggling with my own faith), but I think a good start would be to believe all of the Bible, not just a few random bits here and there.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Let me show my ignorance of Scripture.

May I ask, on what basis do you chose one logically impossible thing to be believable when you reject some others?

Dolores, you are on dangerous ground here. So far the pastors have tolerated you, but have a care. There is nothing logically impossible in the KJV(1611) as you well know, because who decides what is and is not logical? Not us and not you (for sure!) but . And therefore anything in the KJV(1611) is not logically impossible, but FACT.

Please note that I'm not trying to ridicule your position, I just want to understand it.

Try as you may (and you do try) it is not your place to ridicule anyone's position, frankly, is it? See below:

I'm not a good example to follow (struggling with my own faith), but I think a good start would be to believe all of the Bible, not just a few random bits here and there.

No, as a heathen cathlick you are not an example to anyone. And you should have made it clear that by the Bible you mean the KJV(1611) and not whatever filthy bowdlerlized version you subscribe to. It is time for you to stop "struggling" as you call it and accept the True Word of .

Do not get me wrong, Dolores. I have grown fond of you and only say these things in the hope of welcoming you into Landover Baptist as a Sister in Christ.

[Dolores de Barriga]

Re: Let me show my ignorance of Scripture.

Dolores, you are on dangerous ground here. So far the pastors have tolerated you, but have a care. There is nothing logically impossible in the KJV(1611) as you well know, because who decides what is and is not logical? Not us and not you (for sure!) but . And therefore anything in the KJV(1611) is not logically impossible, but FACT.

Try as you may (and you do try) it is not your place to ridicule anyone's position, frankly, is it? See below:

No, as a heathen cathlick you are not an example to anyone. And you should have made it clear that by the Bible you mean the KJV(1611) and not whatever filthy bowdlerlized version you subscribe to. It is time for you to stop "struggling" as you call it and accept the True Word of .

Do not get me wrong, Dolores. I have grown fond of you and only say these things in the hope of welcoming you into Landover Baptist as a Sister in Christ.

Thank you for your guidance, Mrs. Lytton-Vassey. I really want to believe everything that the Bible says, about Jesus, unicorns, the talking donkey, and everything else. Unfortunately, rational thinking stands in the way of my faith. Oh, I'm so afraid that God will punish me in Hell for my lack of faith.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Let me show my ignorance of Scripture.

Thank you for your guidance, Mrs. Lytton-Vassey. I really want to believe everything that the Bible says, about Jesus, unicorns, the talking donkey, and everything else. Unfortunately, rational thinking stands in the way of my faith. Oh, I'm so afraid that God will punish me in Hell for my lack of faith.

The Holy Bible tells us that heathens like you can never hope to understand the Word of God, because your father was satan.

John 8:43 Why do ye not understand my speech? even because ye cannot hear my word. 8:44 Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it. 8:45 And because I tell you the truth, ye believe me not.