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  • Mary Etheldreda
    Gushing for Jesus
     
    • Sep 2011
    • 23775
    #46
    Re: My introduction

    Originally posted by Marko Loimaan-Aho View Post
    Are you ugly?
    I think that's it. Either she's ugly, or she's really fat. Either of which would naturally bring suspicion to her as being a possible witch.
    Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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      • Joanna Lytton-Vasey
        True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
         
        • Jul 2014
        • 8459
        #47
        Re: My introduction

        Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
        I think that's it. Either she's ugly, or she's really fat. Either of which would naturally bring suspicion to her as being a possible witch.
        Sister, I fear it is not an either/or situation. Elsewhere on the forum, this young person admits to being from Britain. People who say they are from "Britain" are often Scotch, so I think we can safely assume that the unfortunate creature is both ugly and fat.

        I will pray for him or her.
        Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

          Comment

          • jade-lily24
            Unsaved trash
             
            • Feb 2015
            • 26
            #48
            Re: My introduction

            Originally posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
            Sister, I fear it is not an either/or situation. Elsewhere on the forum, this young person admits to being from Britain. People who say they are from "Britain" are often Scotch, so I think we can safely assume that the unfortunate creature is both ugly and fat.

            I will pray for him or her.

            No I'm from England. This debate on ugliness and fatness should seen be cleared up with an email to Pastor Ezekiel.
            1 John 1:9 - If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

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              • Faith_Machine
                Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                True Christian™
                • Mar 2011
                • 10050
                #49
                Re: My introduction

                Originally posted by jade-lily24 View Post
                I will speak to the Pastor when he comes on the forum so I know the best time to email him.
                Well, see, the wonderful thing about e-mail is that the timing of it doesn't matter. You can send Pastor a message, and even if he's not available to read it right when you click "send," it will still be there in his in-box, waiting for him, the next time he checks his e-mail.

                So quit stalling.


                I do defiantly want to be saved.

                I don't much care for Freud, or any Jew, really, but this right here is what we call a Freudian slip. Girl, defiance is exactly your problem. You need to stop letting your ego (and Satan) tell you that you know what's best and you should go your own way.

                That way lies damnation.

                We'll know you're serious about knowing Jesus when you let go of your defiance. You need to trust God and do exactly what Pastor says, when he says to do it.


                And kindly refer to Proverbs 1:24-33 to learn how God feels about your defiance.
                WARNING:
                In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

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